Advanced search

What's for lunch today? Take inspiration from Mumsnetters' tried-and-tested recipes in our Top Bananas! cookbook - now under £10

Find out more

How often do your children see their grandparents if you live overseas

(49 Posts)
user1475317873 Tue 05-Dec-17 19:46:30

Not sure where to post this question but was wondering how often do you see your parents and your children their grandparents if you live overseas.I feel I am not visiting often enough and feel sorry the children don't get to see their grandparents much.

DamnCommandments Tue 05-Dec-17 19:49:50

I live a one hour flight away. We only go back once or twice a year, but one set of grandparents come to us two or three times a year as well. Kids are 6 and 9. Grandparents are roughly 70.

guest2013 Tue 05-Dec-17 19:50:59

4 times a year.. we go there twice and they visit twice. That's a lot more than our friends in the same situation. To be honest, I think they should visit more often and hope they will once they retire.. It's difficult, expensive and tedious to fly 5 of us to the same place every 6 months.

MongerTruffle Tue 05-Dec-17 19:51:18

Once or twice a year
They live a 2 hour flight, or 18 hour car journey (including Eurotunnel/ferry) away.

nomad5 Tue 05-Dec-17 19:51:21

We live double long haul away from grandparents. We see them roughly once every 12 to 18 months. Weekly Skype.

NotAgainYoda Tue 05-Dec-17 19:53:29

My IL's live about an hour and a half's flight away (they are abroad). We have seen them once, occasionally twice a year. They have only visited a couple of times ; we always go there. Children now in their late teens

I have accepted that they have been a bit disengaged although really lovely when we see them. I wonder if they regret not making more of an effort now.

MentholBreeze Tue 05-Dec-17 19:55:43

We've lived in various places since the kids were born, currently about 2 hours flight away, we see them once or twice/year, and inlaws once/year (they can't fly to us as FIL isn't well)

occasional email/parcel/skype/whatever.

Kids don't seem to mind (4 and 7) they appreciate them when they're here/we're there, and otherwise don't really notice.

elQuintoConyo Tue 05-Dec-17 19:57:24

My parents are divorced.
Mum visits once or twice a year for 10-14 days.
Dad visits twice a year, once for about a 5-day weekend and once about 10 days with stepmother.
We have visited my mum once (i went alone with ds), twice to see my dad (once for his 65th birthday, once when ds was 5mo so we could visit my grandma). That's all in 6 years.

They live at different ends of the UK, one very near an airport and drives, one miles away from anywhere and we take the extortionate train (last visit the train cost more than our flight!).

We don't earn enough to visit very often, even though it is just a 2-hour Ryanshite flight.

elQuintoConyo Tue 05-Dec-17 19:59:47

Oh and we do loads of Skype and photos/videos etc on Whatsapp.

Salvadore Tue 05-Dec-17 20:02:08

Twice a year
I go home for a month in the summer and each set of grandparents visit at some point during the rest of the year.

HerRoyalNotness Tue 05-Dec-17 20:02:49

My parents twice in 10yrs and PILs twice in 10yrs for FIL and 4 times for MIL (she came to us 2 of those). FIL doesn't travel and I have never had a visit from any of my family, not a single one of them.

Amazing how time flies. I'd like to go home more often but ££££ and it's on the other side of the world. DH doesn't seem to care about his family so much in practice although he does on paper iyswim.

Shadowboy Tue 05-Dec-17 20:05:04

My parents so the kids grandparents live in the Middle East. They see those grandparents once a year sadly but we FaceTime every week.

mustbemad17 Tue 05-Dec-17 20:06:38

When we were kids we lived abroad. We would go back to the UK on alternate Christmas' & on the odd half term holiday. All other contact was done by phone sporadically!

MenorcaSunrise Tue 05-Dec-17 20:06:55

My parents are on the other side of the planet and my PIL are an hour flying. Both grandfathers have yet to meet their first grandchild after 4 months. I expect we'll see my parents every 1 or 2 years and my MIL 4 times a year at least.

JassyRadlett Tue 05-Dec-17 20:08:17

Mine live a day’s flying time away. They come here for at least 3 weeks a year and we go there for 3 weeks every 12-18 months. And Skype once a week.

My kids spend more time with them than their grandparents who live 3 hours away.

Ecureuil Tue 05-Dec-17 20:08:32

2.5 hour flight. We go there once a year for 2 weeks. They come here 3-4 times a year for 3-5 days.

Ecureuil Tue 05-Dec-17 20:09:48

Actually we went twice last year (total 3 weeks) and they came here 4 times. This is DH’s family, mine are local.

ny20005 Tue 05-Dec-17 20:19:18

I'm hr flight away from my parents. I've seen my mum twice this year & haven't seen my dad at all - he won't travel to us

They FaceTime the kids which is all we can really do

Wallywobbles Tue 05-Dec-17 20:26:10

Normally twice a year but one of those times we go for 3 weeks. Granny probably knows my kids better than all the others.

MargotsDevil Tue 05-Dec-17 20:55:50

@guest2013 did you move away or did your parents? If I was your family member at home I'd be really hurt to read your post that it was tedious to come home and visit. And I say that in the position of having close family who chose to move 1000 miles away; I understand the reasons for this and I do my best to see them as often as possible but o have only so many holidays and can't justify spending all of them visiting!

I think there has to be an element of understanding that if you choose to move away (for whatever reason) then you can't expect others to visit necessarily.

Cavender Wed 06-Dec-17 02:17:40

We live in the USA and both sets of Grandparents are in the U.K.- door to door it’s at least 16 hours of travelling.

We visit home once a year, both sets of Grandparents have an open invitation but can’t always visit every year for a number of reasons.

Last year both sets visited, this year only one set.

We FaceTime every week and send WhatsApp messages with pictures and updates of our news in between times.

Our children’s relationship with their grandparents hasn’t suffered at all but they are both primary school age and had good relationships with them before we left the UK so that probably helps.

We deliberately don’t go home at Christmas. It’s too rushed, too emotional, too hard to see friends as well as being complicated logistically (trying to get one set of GPs to limit present buying to what fits in a suitcase is a non starter).

Cavender Wed 06-Dec-17 02:24:02

Margot to be fair to Guest I understand what she means by “tedious”, there was a recent Living Overseas thread about how difficult visits Home are.

Bear in mind that not everyone really has a “choice” about living overseas.

We’ve never been able to make my PILs understand that when the company says “move”, you “move”.

I love and miss my family and friends. Visiting home is still tiring, stressful and difficult.

Strokethefurrywall Wed 06-Dec-17 02:34:17

I've been away for uk for a decade and both my boys were born here (Caribbean).
It varies how often we go back, the year my brother died I was back there 3 times in 6months with DS1 who was a baby so easy traveling.
The last time we all went back was just over 2 years ago when DS1 was 4 and DS2 18 months.
Tricky for us as my family are in London and DH family are in Edinburgh (his parents divorced) so we always have to split the time between Scotland and London.

DHs mum and her friend come most years for 2 weeks, his dad the same for 3 or so weeks.
My parents are coming for a month on 18 December and I'm very excited. They've not been out together (due to illness on my dad's side) since early 2013.
Kids have great relationship with them though as I FaceTime them 3-4 times a week.
I'd love to see them more often but we have to prioritize doing other holidays with DSs and it costs a fortune. Whenever I go back it doesn't feel like a holiday.
I've been back by myself twice this year so have had my fill of the uk!!

lljkk Wed 06-Dec-17 05:00:17

Elderly parents are 4500 miles away. We try to meet up to some extent (maybe not all the kids with me if I travel) once a year. Rarely for more than 1 week.

Metalhead Wed 06-Dec-17 07:25:32

My parents live an hour's flight away, we go to them 3-4 times a year (half terms, Easter and alternate Christmas) and they come to us about 4 times a year. Both retired and in their late 60s/early 70.

MIL and FIL live a 5-hour drive away in the UK and we probably see them a total of 4-5 times a year as they're always busy, even though they're also both retired!

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: