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How to calm newborn baby between feeds?

(51 Posts)
Dani00 Mon 04-Dec-17 14:55:44

Hello, I'm a first time mum and probably am being really silly but thought I would ask anyway. I have a nearly 3 week year old and am breastfeeding. As soon as he wakes up he will cry until he is fed. Inbetween feeds he will lie down and gaze for a couple of minutes before crying. Basically when he's awake and not feeding he is crying. Which can be for hours at a time. There is no way ( I have found) to soothe him other than to feed him. I was wondering , is there any way I can keep him entertained in between or will this come in time? As at the moment he obviously has no interest in toys etc. And I'm the only one that can calm him by feeding him. Thank you!

ew1990 Mon 04-Dec-17 14:56:46

Are you winding him after a feed?

MonkeyJumping Mon 04-Dec-17 14:58:50

Tbh both of mine needed to be held and cuddled upright at that age, I haven't known any small babies that were happy to lie down.

Try googling the fourth trimester.

Efferlunt Mon 04-Dec-17 15:02:31

Normal for baby this age to cry, feed and spend about five minutes staring at a table leg or whatever before crying again! Mine is 4 weeks and he’s a bit more interested in the world but still pretty much wants to feed the whole time. I’m just feeding as much as as I can.

Nottalotta Mon 04-Dec-17 15:02:53

Keep feeing him, hold him. Get a sling. Try a dummy. All normal. Congratulations on your new baby!

LapinR0se Mon 04-Dec-17 15:03:21

Your baby should basically be asleep between feeds. How much sleep is he getting?

Dani00 Mon 04-Dec-17 15:04:02

Yes winding him after every feed. Okay thank you, that makes me feel better!

KatnissK Mon 04-Dec-17 15:04:27

My 5 month old was attached to me what felt like constantly at that age! If he wants to feed / suckle then let him - it's important for establishing supply and at 2-3 weeks there is a growth spurt. It does improve although is exhausting at the time. Good luck and congratulations!

UserThenLotsOfNumbers Mon 04-Dec-17 15:06:03

As PP have said, babies love to be constantly held and cuddled at this age.

DueNov Mon 04-Dec-17 15:07:10

Forst time mum here too. I am combo feeding atm though but yes my daughter will cry for a feed. Feed and cry some more but refuse feed. I then one her leave it 5 mins and change her as she has a habit of pooing just after a feed. Sometimes twice. Then I cuddle her and she does like to be swaddled. Have you tried swaddling? It makes them feel secure like theyretheyre being cuddled x

Dani00 Mon 04-Dec-17 15:12:30

Thank you for all your advice! I have tried swaddling him, the trouble is whenever I or anyone else tries to cuddle him, he constantly looks for food / gets himself worked up and starts crying again. I thought perhaps I wasn't producing enough milk but it's constantly flowing out whenever / before and after I'm feeding him. I just wanted to check that it's normal , thank you.

LuchiMangsho Mon 04-Dec-17 15:14:42

It is normal yes, but constant crying may or may not be normal (the constant rooting for food is fairly normal). I would eliminate all the usual- reflux/wind etc. If they are being held and cuddled and are still unhappy then something else might be bothering him.

LapinR0se Mon 04-Dec-17 15:19:55

It is not normal. A baby who is constantly crying is either
Hungry - the fact you have milk does not mean it’s being efficiently transferred by your baby. How is weight gain?
In pain (usually from reflux or allergies)
Too cold or, less likely, too hot
Overstimulated and overtired

Your baby needs MAXIMUM 1 hr awake time in any one go including feeds, nappy changes and winding. The rest of the time he should be asleep.

CrossFreelancer Mon 04-Dec-17 15:27:02

So if he has been winded effectively (do to hear actual burps come up? If you don't, keep patting until you do.)

He quite possibly is still hungry!
It seems like they are permanently attached to your boob at this age, but cluster feeding (every 15 mins?) Is so normal.

BubblesBuddy Mon 04-Dec-17 15:35:59

Sometimes when they are permanently hungry the introduction of a bottle can help but I understand you may be against this. It does mean other people can help though.

Dani00 Mon 04-Dec-17 15:39:02

He has been feeding about every 3 hours but the past few days it has been every half an hour or so, maybe he is having a growth spurt. He has been putting on weight/plenty of pooey/wet nappies but maybe I'll mention it to the health visitor when I see her next thank you x

mintbiscuit Mon 04-Dec-17 15:42:30

Just to add newborns need a LOT of sleep. Once they are fed they usually need to go back to sleep. 16 to 20 hours of sleep daily at this age is very normal. They don't really do awake time until a bit older.

Caterina99 Mon 04-Dec-17 16:51:20

I think there’s a growth spurt about 3 weeks.

But at that age babies pretty much do nothing but eat and sleep. My DD is now 7 weeks and a bit more alert between feeds, a combination of her awake time being longer and her feeds being a bit shorter as she’s more efficient. I’m still looking to soothe her to sleep approximately an hour after she woke up, which includes the feeding time.

Newtothismumthing1 Mon 04-Dec-17 17:15:23

Probably cluster feeding- my 4month old did this religiously in the first 2 months, if I wasn’t sleeping I was breastfeeding. I at first assumed something was wrong with my supply but numerous sources told me it’s “normal” and will pass.

Dani00 Mon 04-Dec-17 17:15:55

Thank you so much for all your advice x

mindutopia Mon 04-Dec-17 17:34:20

I would just keep feeding him. Are you trying to put him down? I couldn't put mine down at all until she was close to 3 months. So if she wasn't feeding, I was just holding her. She'd usually fall asleep after a feed, so if he isn't, it might be because he's still hungry. If he will keep feeding even 'after a feed' I would assume he isn't done, so just keep going.

Dani00 Mon 04-Dec-17 17:44:37

I wait until he has fallen asleep before putting him down , it just doesn't take long for him to wake up again. It's just when he is awake he is crying unless feeding. Ah okay I will just keep persevering.

LuchiMangsho Mon 04-Dec-17 19:25:24

If you hold him does he sleep? Most babies at this age will prefer to be held while asleep. That's normal.
If you hold him when awake does he cry?

MoreHairyThanScary Mon 04-Dec-17 19:32:12

If things don't improve please consider reflux or dairy allergy. Dd1 was very much as you describe not settling after a feed, really really hard to soothe ( we tried dummies etc) but nothing improved until I cur dairy from my diet. 24hrs later I had a different baby. It may not be the case for you but certainly worth a shot.

Nottalotta Mon 04-Dec-17 20:39:10

I feel the need to add that reading posts saying things like "newborns sleep 16-20 hours a day" really made me feel like shit when Ds1 was born. Not all babies are the same. Ds1 has never slept anywhere near the recommended range for his age, right from day 1. He napped on mearth for the first 6 months and still got athe least a couple of hours sleep less than he needed. He's not yet 2.5 and has pretty much not napped for a few months and gets 11 hrs a night. He's fine, not tired , and happy .

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