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Struggling with 7 yr old(7 Posts)
I’m a single parent to 2 DCs, 3yo DS and 7yo DD. I have raised DD from day one alone, DS is from my failed marriage and sees his father regularly.
My DD is a wonderful, clever and mostly kind little girl. She’s very mature for her age and emotionally very intelligent. Everyone that meets her tells me what a credit she is to me, what a lovely child she is, so polite etc.
I love her more than I can express on here... however I’m currently finding her company incredibly annoying. She ramlbes on and on about inane things when I’m extremely busy e.g. cooking/ Working/ on an important phone call. Honestly I’m not exaggerating, she never shuts up.
She is not being very pleasant to her little brother at times, he only has to touch something and she jumps down his throat and screeches in an awful high-pitched voice. She’s incredibly dramatic and whines in a voice that feels like it’s penetrating my brain.
She’s either against physical affection at all or she’s very invasive of my personal space e.g putting her hands all over my face and eyes which I really find annoying.
She is very bright and is aware she is but she’s going through a stage where she always has to be right. She’ll ask me a question, I’ll answer and then she’ll tell me how I’m wrong. “Do you think this colour is pink or purple?” “Hmmm I think more purple”... “No, it’s actually pink, can’t you see that?”
It makes me want to bang my head against the wall.
There are times I’m relieved when she goes to bed because I’m exhausted. Then I feel terrible because I’m all she has and I love her so much, but she’s driving me nuts!!!
I know these are all normal behaviours for a 7yo but I don’t have anyone IRL who has kids the same age that I can vent to and get perspective, my friends children are all babies so they don’t get it.
I’m finding myself extremely irritated with her at times, like she’s winding me up and then I snap at her.
I absolutely adore her and I don’t want to be like this with her but at times I feel I can’t help it.
How can I stay calm and patient with her? I don’t want to be a shouty grumpy Mum and I feel like I’m failing her
Went through very similar with DS7 during Sept - Nov this year. I got helpful replies to my thread and have changed my attitude .On a good day I remember he is learning to be independent and pick my battles. Lots of humour, distraction and hiding in kitchen for 5 minutes reading kindle to have a break and reading mumsnet keeps me sane. Also we have snuggle time at bedtime where he gets to chat to me about anything he wants or we play word games . I think it is normal but some days I still have enough and loose my patience. I now also use tablet just to get random stuff to Google and talk about or cbbc website has safe games.
It does sound very normal for this age - and when my DC are going through an annoying phase I do find it helpful to remind myself it is completely normal. The pink / purple thing for example, she’s learning that she can have a different opinion from you rather than being told what to do all the time like her toddler brother. She’s playing at being a grown up... I can see it would be irritating but I think it’s quite sweet actually!
Hang in there OP - this too will pass!
So I’m not a total bitch and awful mother then? 😩
That’s such a relief! I think I just need to be told that feeling like this sometimes doesn’t make me a terrible parent. I have spoken to my Mum this morning about this and had a bit of a cry. She said maybe I need a bit of a break sometimes and that’s ok, I suppose in most situations you’ve got the other parent for respite but I don’t have that luxury unfortunately. Might pack her off to nan’s house for the day
What would her friends say about the pink/purple question? Probably "If you know it's pink, why did you ask?" or similar. That way she politely discovers that her reaction to the question is annoying.
When they chat about boring topics, zone out and nod politely (like they do when they find you boring) If you're cooking, have her sit so that your back is to her do that you sympathetic nodding and noises sound more genuine.
I came on this board because I was wondering whether to write an identical thread about my 7yo DD OP. God she is hard work sometimes! I love her so much. But...
She’ll ask me a question, I’ll answer and then she’ll tell me how I’m wrong. “Do you think this colour is pink or purple?” “Hmmm I think more purple”... “No, it’s actually pink, can’t you see that?”
This with bells on!!!!
I started saying "if you're going to argue and tell me I'm wrong then don't bother asking me...."
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