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Advice needed please

(8 Posts)
brokenhearteddad Fri 01-Dec-17 17:22:44

I require some advice please go easy
Recently left court with an order that I see my child 2 a week
Today is his birthday and things have gone south with Mum again so back to square one
I have paid £50 per week for my son and have advised Mum that I intend to reduce it to £42 a week in line with my salary and according to the csa calculator
Mum hasn’t taken to it kindly and is now saying when I take him for my 2 hours I should provide nappies etc
Now to me the money isn’t an issue it’s more of a principle thing
She really doesn’t treat me or others that care for he well. I’m pretty much sick of being treated like scum by her.
She thinks she is right on everything and will accept being wrong.
She works minimal hours to maintain maximum benefits
She doesn’t declare the money I’ve been paying (but I believe it’s irrelevant anyway)
I am in debt up to my eye balls because I’ve spent thousands in solicitors fees
Am I doing the right thing reducing my csa payment in line with salary and is Mum right telling me I should provide a change kit when I have my son for 2 hours ?

cestlavielife Fri 01-Dec-17 18:21:38

Yes. Go yo a supermarket and buy nappies and a change of clothes
Save ypur energy for other issues

mindutopia Fri 01-Dec-17 18:26:39

Uh, yes, when he is with you, you need to provide him what he needs. Your CSA payments are to support him when he is in her care, which he is all the time, except for 2 hours a week. 50 quid doesn't come close to what it takes to care for and provide for a child each week, particularly if she is working and needs childcare/transport to and from childcare. You aren't a nursery (at my dd's nursery, we sent in nappies and wipes, though the provided milk and everything else). You're his dad. When my husband takes my daughter out (we're married and living together, so slightly different as he pays a lot more than 50 quid a week towards her care), but I don't pay for and send snacks, nor do I give him money for activities or to buy her lunch. He's her dad. He buys her whatever she needs when she's with him. That's what parents do. Your son should have whatever he needs at your house for your time together because you're his dad and you're as much of a parent as she is, even if you do significantly less of the parenting.

InDubiousBattle Fri 01-Dec-17 18:29:27

Of course you should buy some nappies and any other bits and pieces your child might need whilst in your care.

Doyoumind Fri 01-Dec-17 18:37:55

Of course you pay for the things he needs when he's with you. A couple of nappies and some wipes and milk/food can hardly cost much over 2 hours. She probably can't afford to work more than a few hours because of childcare costs. What you givr her a week would cover one day of childcare and nothing else. The money you give her doesn't need to be declared.

RebelRogue Fri 01-Dec-17 18:46:26

Yes you need to provide for your child while he is in your care.

The 50£ you give a week covers nappies,food,clothes,other necessities plus childcare(if she uses it),a roof over his head,heating,electric etc.

Codlet Fri 01-Dec-17 18:49:23

Of course you should buy nappies when he’s with you!

Tinselistacky Fri 01-Dec-17 18:50:39

If you wish to have more hours with your dc in the future you need to show a court they are well provided for in your care.
And besides you should want to do that anyway really. ...

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