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Opinionated people

(11 Posts)
Xmaxsmumx Wed 29-Nov-17 22:13:28

Anybody else sick of pushy mothers mother In laws / know it all friends carrying on just because they'v had a baby that their way is the right way. And because they'v already had a baby before you it's never gonna stop... every stage you get to with your baby they'll have already been .. waiting to give you their unwanted pearls of wisdom 😂 posting for no other reason than to rant. Please let me know if anybody else finds this one of the most irritating things in the world 🙄

Bella8 Wed 29-Nov-17 22:16:39

I find it more irratating that there are people who have no children yet think they know more than us! The amount of unwanted pieces of useless advice I've had from friends with no kids confused

ifcatscouldtalk Wed 29-Nov-17 22:25:47

I hate getting the opinion that you were never even asking for. Fair enough if your asking for advice but so often it's not the case.
I found the first couple of years the worse for that but it never completely goes.
In a way I wish I'd had my daughter at an older age, as when she was born I hadn't yet reached the don't give a shit what others think stage of my life.grin.

Xmaxsmumx Thu 30-Nov-17 07:45:16

I don't give a shit..but I can't help feeling myself bubble inside when people make suggestions even though youv just told them
How you plan / or are doing it a particular way..or when you say your looking into something and my mum wades in with already researched paper work printed off from the internet. Just leave me to it! Really annoys me ... I know people think they'r helping but they wouldn't wade in with all this advise that wasn't asked for over something else so why just because it's about a baby do they all think it's ok. I wish so badly I could just smile and nod but I just can't I feel like it's turning me really bitter ☹️

Xmaxsmumx Thu 30-Nov-17 07:47:54

Ifcstscouldtallk- at what age does it gradually reduce?? Who were you getting this unwarranted advise? I feel like I'm getting it from all angles an I'm right on tj edge of flipping out 😂 if it's not my mil if my mum, if it's not my mum it's my best friend, if it's not my best friend it's my husband PURELY because his brother or mother has put it in his head even though we've already discussed the matter. 😡

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 30-Nov-17 16:33:31

I hadn't changed a nappy or bathed a baby before I had my first blush so although lots of parenting seemed to me like common sense, most of the time I was grateful for other people's advice. I agree though there's a way to tell a newbie parent something without coming over as Smug Expert of the Year. With experienced family it was tough looking aborbed and batting off criticism. Especially if I could hear them in the next room whispering! With strangers I zoned out and just said, "Oh, okay!"

I reckon by the time I get grandchildren I'll be so out of touch with current thinking so I won't dare offer much advice!

Bella8 Thu 30-Nov-17 17:53:54

I'm sick of opinated people to be honest and have encountered it on some of the threads on MN. Most people are lovely but some on here haven't got kids, or have and just like to judge and seem to like to be condescending and quite awful.

Bella8 Thu 30-Nov-17 17:58:08

I had a 'smug expert of the year' at the hospital after birth of my baby. She took great pleasure in telling me she'd had 3 kids before and that I was doing it all wrong taking my baby from me and showing me how it's done. I now know my method wasn't wrong just different from hers and there was no right and wrong with that particular thing. There's advice and there's controlling...a difference.

Xmaxsmumx Fri 01-Dec-17 06:37:51

Yes exactly and to be honest with babies, I genuinely feel like a mum knows how their baby will take to things best. I sometimes feel Controlling myself because it annoys me when people tell me different or feel the need to give me advise I've not asked for because I think just leave me alone! If it wasn't my baby we were talking about but something to do with my weight or work for example they wouldn't tell me to change my method so why just because it's a baby is it ok?! I don't mind People showing an interest but that's very different 😡

user1493413286 Fri 01-Dec-17 10:02:19

Yep I can’t stand it, I’ve started saying something along the lines of ‘that’s interesting I’ll look into that’ then totally ignoring people and doing what I want. I do sometimes have to get my oh to have a word with his mum when she won’t stop going on about something. One if the problems is that sometimes I get so frustrated that I then refuse to do what’s suggested because I feel it’s being pushed on me then later realise it was a good idea.
I’m going to try really hard not to be one of those mums in the future with my friends. I’ve asked other mums for advice when I’ve noticed what they’re doing works well so I’m going to try and wait for people to ask.

Xmaxsmumx Sun 03-Dec-17 18:24:51

Yeh I'm like that, if something's pushed on me I'll purposefully not do it because it gets my back up that much. Something else which is REALLY winding me up along the same lines is his mum keeps buying stuff, months before he needs it so she's getting in there first before we get the chance-I want to buy my baby his first swing / walker / bounced etc but she's purposefully trying to beat me to it. And my husband won't pipe up. I don't feel it's my plans and coming from me it's just look nasty .. what do I do !??

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