Feel awful about how I treated DS this evening :(

[LazyPerfectionist]

So I'm 38 weeks pregnant. Very tired, frustrated and the littlest thing can set me off. Asked DS (3.5) to tidy up his toys and told him to take on one part of the room (he's currently obsessed with watching pom poms go down the ramp of his car park) and I took on the duplo toys. After asking him to pick up the pom poms around 10 times I told him that if he didn't get on with it they'll end up in the bin. After about another 5 attempts at basically repeating myself I snapped, picked some up and threw them away ensuring he could see exactly what I was doing. Cue the tears, the screaming and battle to stop him from fishing them out of there. I told him that if he didn't put the rest of them away they'll all end up in the bin and he hurriedly cleared the floor up after more tears and meltdowns.

Looking back on the whole thing the shock and heartbreak on his face make me feel awful! And this is so uncharacteristic of me that I could see him wondering who this screaming woman in front of him was. He's the loveliest, sweetest little boy and at bedtime gave me a big kiss and hug and told me that he loves me and I'm his bestie :( . I think it's the thought of moving from one DC to two that's worrying me, and feel bad to have taken it out on him. I'm not even sure about why I'm posting this here...just feel better to get it off my chest before the tears come rolling down!

[Brandnewstart]

Aw bless you. I had the same age gap and I remember throwing away my ds1 woody hat because he had bitten a friend (they were fighting over it). I was pregnant, grumpy and tired.
On the positive side, it's a lovely age gap. The older one is that little more independent and I found the transition much easier than I thought x

[Hermagsjesty]

We all snap especially when we’re tired and stressed. It’s okay for him to know that you’re human too - especially as it’s not like it happens often. Be kind to yourself.

[CynophobicSadness]

Look, we've all been here at some point. Don't worry too much. Rescue the pom pom's from the bin, give them back tomorrow and say youve given them back because he's been a good boy today.

Kids of this age have very short memories. It'll have done no real harm. You're human, remember that

[wowbutter]

I think you did the right thing. Regardless of your emotional situation, he is old enough to know to do what you say. You said tidy up, he ignored you, you said today up or there'd be a consequence, he ignored you. Consequence.

[LazyPerfectionist]

Thanks for the responses. Feel a bit better now that my head has cleared. Can't recover those pom poms but will treat him to something tomorrow.

Brandnewstart very reassuring to know that the transition with your DS has worked well. I'm getting him to be more independent now. Fingers crossed all goes smoothly!

[Midge1978]

You're ok - you didn't do a terrible thing here - he has learnt to have respect for what you say and that tidying up is important. I suspect you feel guilt because you felt like you were reacting emotionally rather than in a controlled calm way. He will be shocked - every child is the first time they realise mum means what she says! He won't be in therapy in years to come because of the pom pom incident don't worry!

If you want to motivate him to tidy up in future without using threats- I find that playing a tidy up tune (mission impossible is my fave) often works at this age!

Please do take care of yourself, get rest and help whenever you can and if you ever catch yourself losing control of your emotions just leave the room and take some deep breaths and come back to the situation. It's important to always repeat to yourself "he's only three" so that you avoid taking his behaviour too personally.

You will be fine, take care of yourself xx

[BellyBean]

Don't feel too bad, we've all been there. I find by 3.5 you can explain and apologise. Sometimes at bedtime I'd mention I'd been cross about the Pom poms and it's important to tidy up when asked, but I'm sorry I was so strict, it was partly because I was tired. DD usually apologies for her side too.