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Feel guilty need help and advice FTM

(12 Posts)
Ellsbells0207 Sat 25-Nov-17 08:30:07

Hi everyone...
First thread so not really sure what to expect but have something on my mind. My DS was born Oct 17, he's 6 1/2 weeks old I love him to pieces as you all probably know the feeling. I haven't really been out since having him, once or twice for an hour or two down the pub with The SO or my girlfriends when my parents offer to look after LO. Even when I'm only out for an hour or two I feel guilty. Me and my SO live apart (halfway there to a mortgage deposit) so he has had nights away from DS and has been out with his friends to wet the baby's head which is fine, however my girlfriends asked me if I want to go out and after a lot of thought I asked SO if he feels confident enough to have DS for the night and he's said yes, however I can't help but feel guilty for going out for the night with my friends. Pre pregnancy I was out every weekend and I do miss it but I feel so bad for leaving LO alone with his dad for the night. My parents have given me a hard time for it as well and we had a full blown argument last night as they've said I'm a mum not a "single girl who can go and party anymore" and I think another reason I feel guilty is because he's still very young. Now the days come round I don't know whether to go because as much as I want to I can't help but feel guilty sad I need advice!

user1493413286 Sat 25-Nov-17 10:24:46

It’s really hard leaving your baby for the first night out but don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about the ocassional night out. On my first night out after my baby was born I really wondered if I could leave her but I also knew that having a bit of time out and a laugh with my friends made me a better parent. It made me feel more like myself and I felt that was good for my baby.

Changerofname987654321 Sat 25-Nov-17 13:09:53

Ignore everyone else and what they think. What do you want to do?

Shutupanddance1 Sat 25-Nov-17 13:19:39

I'll be honest - I didn't leave my baby for the first time until she was 6 months old and that was only as I was going to a wedding. Perhaps if you want to go out, maybe SO could come around to your house and stay and you could sleep on the couch of you are worried?

BabyOrSanta Sat 25-Nov-17 13:26:19

Do your parents know that baby's dad is looking after him?
It's not a complete stranger, it's his other parent

MrsBriteSide Sat 25-Nov-17 13:44:12

You don’t need to rush and have a night out! You have all the time in the world to go out with your friends. It’s fine to say to them that you want to stay home with Baby - 6 weeks is so young!

On the other hand, if you really fancy a night out and baby is being cared for properly then it’s noone’s business but your own.

Do what makes you feel happy. If that’s staying in, tell your friends not tonight. If that’s going out, do it! smile

bellweather Sat 25-Nov-17 14:15:02

My DS is 9 months old and I still haven’t been out out since he’s born! Like you I also feel guilty although I do miss going out.

Do what makes you happy, I’m happier staying in with my DS so that’s what I do smile

Ellsbells0207 Sat 25-Nov-17 14:45:37

Thank you all for your advice I'm glad I got your replies! I'm going along to a few pre drinks with them as I'd like to let my hair down with them then going home when everyone goes clubbing to be with DS and SO X

NapQueen Sat 25-Nov-17 14:51:24

Is your dp able to move in with you? Itll be much easier to balance free time.

gandalfspants Sat 25-Nov-17 14:57:21

Do what you feel comfortable with.

Last night I drove (4.5 hours - awful traffic) to an engagement party, and then back (only 2.5hrs thankfully) afterwards, because I would rather be with my PFB than stay over, even though DH was with her.

She's 14 months blush

Gaudeamus Thu 07-Dec-17 06:12:16

The baby needs to spend time with his dad so they can bond, and his dad needs to learn how to look after him just like you. Maybe your SO even likes spending time with his child! So it's very sensible for them to do overnights whether you're out at the time or at home baking apple pie.

Redken24 Thu 07-Dec-17 06:16:45

Sounds like you have a good plan in your head. Just see how the night takes you and don't feel guilty. Your dp/baby need that time alone too.

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