Advice needed

[Cizzae90]

My mother in law helps us out a great deal as she drops our son to the childminder in the mornings as both my partner and I have to leave early for work. I drop him to her house and she takes him from there. She has also been doing some pick ups and gives him some dinner. Most days he’s not hungry as childminder feeds him a big lunch and snacks, however, if he doesn’t eat dinner my mil will give him milkybar yoghurts. I am really grateful to her but there’s so much sugar in those yoghurts so he shouldn’t be having them on a regular basis! She also made a comment about smacking his bum when he did something he shouldn’t have. I have asked my partner to talk to her but it hasn’t happened yet. Any advice? Thanks

[Bobbiepin]

How's your relationship with her? Could you just sit her down and have an honest adult conversation? Tell her that you appreciate everything she does to support you but can she give DS these yogurts instead (which you are providing) thanks so much.

As for the smacking thing that's more important but probably harder. Do you know for sure if she's smacked him? You have two options really, be blunt and tell her under no circumstances can she snack your son but be prepared for the well meaning but out dated parenting backlash or bring up the new smacking laws in conversation and say how pleased you are because you find smacking horrible and old fashioned etc and hope the conversation goes in the right direction.

[Sirzy]

I would say pick your battles. The occasional yoghurt isn’t going to do any harm.

The smacking you make it perfectly clear that that isn’t your chosen form of discipline you will be doing x and y and for consistency you want her to do the same