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I feel like the worst mum in the world

(8 Posts)
Mrshrb1988 Mon 13-Nov-17 22:32:09

I don't post an awful lot but really need to get this off my chest.
I feel like the worst mum in the world. My son (3) has been sick on and off for a week (only at night in his sleep) I know it is probably just a bug and am ringing GP in the morning. All three of my kids have been sick all week and myself. My husband is away all week with his job and cannot come home.

So tonight I had a bath about 10 mins in son starts crying I ignored him at first as he does this sometimes in his sleep, when he carries on I asked him what's wrong he just keeps crying and saying come here mum. I get washed and get out and go to him. Sick everywhere. Again. For the 5th time this week. I have literally just got his sheets, bedding, pillows, mattress and duvet clean and dry (winter weather) and changed them tonight.

I raised my voice and in a really snappy way said for goodness sake this has to stop you can't keep being sick. I then snapped at him as to why he didn't go to the bathroom if he felt sick, I also (whilst showering him) snapped and said why didn't you tell me you had been sick instead of crying then I would have come sooner?

I feel awful. What kind of a mother am I? Instead of reassuring him like I did the other times and giving him a love I shouted and made a upset little boy feel worse. I know it's stressful with all three of the kids washing (big like duvet and stuff) to do and it's made worse that I'm on my own so stuff does get on top of you a bit more, but I just feel like I've let him down and I don't deserve to be his mum. I told husband and he says your the best mum but how can I be when I do things like this?

Just needed to get this off my chest as I have no one else to talk to as his job restricts communication.

Withhindsight Mon 13-Nov-17 22:41:07

What's done is done, if he's still awake give him a kiss and cuddle and tell him you are sorry and love him. If he's asleep do that tomorrow, but for now go in his room and give him a little kiss and whisper that you are sorry and it should help you to feel better. It's hard

MGrey Mon 13-Nov-17 22:43:59

You are not the worst mum. You're a mum, who's doing her best with a crappy week. Yeah he's only little, I have a 3 year old who's ill this week and while I'm trying to get him to sleep last night I snapped 'that's enough' cos I felt he was messing about. He cried and said no mummy don't shout. (Btw I don't shout often). Then I suddenly thought he can't breathe through his nose properly and is probably struggling to drop off and I make him cry. He promptly then went to sleep but as he did I cried myself at what I'd said even though it's not the worst thing in the world.

But we all get tired and fed up of the things we have to go through with the kids sometimes so we snap and say things that we really don't mean, because we're only human. And we love our kids more than life itself, its just life has a shit way of reminding us of that!

GreenTulips Mon 13-Nov-17 22:44:59

Just remember all the good bits - we all do crap things all the time

Teens are 10X harder!!!

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Mon 13-Nov-17 22:57:08

I feel your pain. I have one ds who is frequently nauseous and sometimes sick and I do get a bit less patient at times - it is soo hard to remain at our most patient all the time, especially when we are on our own.

Ds2 bumped his knee yesterday while I was paying for petrol. They had been really mucking about in the supermarket and I had got quite cross. When I got back to the car and he was crying, I assumed they had fought in my brief absence and I was not remotely sympathetic. It turned out that he was quite badly bruised and it was just an accident. I felt awful and have apologised again tonight. I am only saying this because I want to remind you that we are all human. We make mistakes, especially when we are parenting alone (for whatever reason) and are at the end of our tethers. The chances are our kids feel less upset by it than we do and it will help us to stop and think a bit more next time, with any luck.

GoingRogue Mon 13-Nov-17 22:59:51

Not a bad Mum at all!! I expect he won't have thought any more of it as he was half asleep. Just apologise in the morning and explain that your are very very tired.

We're all human flowers I hope you are all healthy again really soon!

Mrshrb1988 Tue 14-Nov-17 12:40:19

Hi ladies thank you very much - I have had him at home with his little sister and I have tried to give him lots of love (in between all the cleaning up that goes with a sicky boy!) It's nice to know that I'm not an awful mum.
I went into his room and stroked his head and said goodnight and I remember now when I'm not so upset I did say sorry for being shouty at him last night.
It's been a tough old morning too he's been in a terrible mood and kept screaming and shouting at everyone and snatching but I have tried super hard to keep my temper with him. To top it off it was school photos day as well 🤦so that added stress as I had to get my oldest to school early! He knew he was being horrible as well because he came and said he was sowwy for bein howible mummy.

I love them all so much but never seem to feel like I get it right. Always feel like I miss the mark and could have done better. I know I don't always hit the mark but I try so hard. I just worry there going to grow up and think I was a bad mum.

mikado1 Tue 14-Nov-17 12:44:22

Hey, you stole my thread title!! ;) I was feeling guilty this morning too-5yo wet the bed two nights running and then comes into my bed writhing around and rubbing me to get back to sleep..infuriating and exhausting. I'm sure I was sighing loudly and then roared at him this morning (for being grumpy/cheeky). I know I need to breathe and let a few seconds pass but tiredness really really effects your mood. Onwards and upwards and hope your ds is better soon!

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