Anxiety

[littlekerry8]

I returned to work when my baby was 9 months she is my 3rd and last. I’m struggling with anxiety, some of that anxiety is existing but a lot is due to being away from my baby. I’ve always been clear that going to work is important and had a good work life balance. I could deal with the parent guilt, because of the life I was able to provide for my kids because of work.

2 years ago I lost a family member to cancer (the start of my anxiety) and since then I feel my priorities have changed, Work means nothing to me... only being with my kids is important. I know my loved one was not on his death bed wishing they had worked more or had more money.

I spend every day at work pining for my baby, if I’m honest I don’t like that she is having fun without me, that I don’t see her development ( I know that’s unreasonable but I can’t stop feeling like
This). when I’m not with her I feel sick to my stomach.

My husband has told me to leave my job if it makes me happy but I feel so conflicted. We plan to move to a nicer area in two years, with better schools, I have a pension and I dont think my husband knows how much I provide for our kids (clothes, clubs,spends and presents) those things aren’t important to me but they are to my kids

It doesn’t help that after I returned to work I was made redundant from my job that I loved and have found a new job which I don’t like

I’m taking medication for the anxiety and have lost about 10lb just though feeling stressed. I just feel stuck between a rock and a hard place and I don’t know what to do

[Mrshrb1988]

Hi. I'm really sorry you feel this way.
Leave work. I know it sounds like I'm being blasé but I'm not - I had a great job but when my second came along I left. I left because I always felt guilty about what I missed. I knew I didn't want to feel that way again. I too felt like I missed out on milestones and felt jealous and unhappy if she had been having fun with other people because I wanted it to be me.

Things are financially harder now and no my kids don't have the designer brands but we make do with what we have. I feel happier (although being a stay at home mum is really hard work) and I know I won't regret the time I was missing out on.

Please do what's best for you xx

[sortingmyselfoutslowly]

Hi I'm also suffering with anxiety so I sympathise. Is working part time an option? I enjoy my work so couldn't give it up but if you can afford to it is worth considering. Do you feel more anxious at home or work?

[littlekerry8]

I have started doing 3.5 days but I haven’t helped . I just feel like I’m failing if I give up my job.

I am anxious at home too

[sortingmyselfoutslowly]

How long have you been on the meds? They can take 4-6 weeks to start working. Are you able to talk to a close cried or family member about your worries?

[sortingmyselfoutslowly]

Close friend sorry

[littlekerry8]

I handed my notice in at work today... and this evening I sat with my middle daughter and I heard every work she said, my mind didn’t wander to the events of the day and what I should have said

[littlekerry8]

I know things may be harder financially for a while but my mind won’t be full and I will hopefully get back to what really matters... seeing and hearing my children, I mean really hearing them and really spending time instead of the worry and pressure I have felt

This was my first time on mumsnet , I have a great family, but I’m the go to person with problems so I don’t let them know I have any , it has been so nice to have you listen

Thank you all x x x