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Naughty toddler(4 Posts)
My DS will be 3 at the end of January. He can be lovely and well behaved but he's been horrible just lately. He shouts /screams "Nooooo!" at us, throws things at us, hits us, has a meltdown about brushing his teeth, getting undressed/dressed and having a bath. We use the naughty step but even then he sometimes refuses to say sorry. I try very hard not to shout back at him but am firm, and I would never smack him. I have the "How to Talk So Little Kids will Listen" book but haven't had time to read it yet. His nursery worker said she had to ask him to use his listening ears last week as he ignored her when she asked the to tidy toys away. Is this normal toddler behaviour? Will he grow out of it? Any tips please?
There’s no such thing as a naughty toddler. They just like to push boundaries and it’s hard work!
They do obviously grow out of it and it is hard to stay calm.
I found giving dc choices helped, which t short, which cereal etc. And picking my battles such as teeth brushing. If he’s refusing then I wouldn’t bother and try again later (or not at all that day)
I’m not a fan of the naughty step as I see it as them being excluded over something that they didn’t really have full control over. I use time out with my 8yr old but that’s normally for him to have a chance to calm down, he’s never banished. My 4yr old is too young for time out. I use time in for her where she comes to sit next to me until she’s calmed down
I agree completely with the PP. He's just being your average 3 year old, he's not naughty. Toddlers have tantrums because their emotions all get too much for them and they get frustrated by having so little control over their lives. I'm not keen on the naughty step either as it excludes children at the times they probably need you the most. Asking a 3 yo to say sorry is meaningless - they don't have the ability to empathise at that age so cannot understand how their actions may have upset somebody.
I like the book Gentle Parenting. I know it's hard to find the time to read but try 10 minutes before you go to bed and hopefully you'll find some tips that work for you.
My little girl is 3 in March and here are a few things that work for us:
- Routine. After breakfast she always has a wash, cleans teeth then gets dressed. Doing the same thing day in day out means there is less room for tantrums as she knows what to expect.
- Give 2 choices of clothes, cereal etc.
- if you see a tantrum threatening, try to divert it by doing something silly. Often if you do this early enough you can catch them off guard and they'll forget to throw a fit.
Thanks for the replies . He does have a routine so he knows what's happening. I give him choices but at the moment it's just no to everything and he grabs clothes and throws them at us. It's not so much the tantrums which I can divert usually bit the fact that out of the blue when he has been playing nicely he will just throw something at us for no apparent reason and if we ask him to do something he doesn't like he will hit or smack us. He is always loveky woth other kids. If I tried to make him sit by me when he has done something that is not nice he would just hot me or run off so not an option.
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