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Not going returing to work after maternity?

(13 Posts)
Bella8 Sun 12-Nov-17 17:04:26

Hi, I am just looking to hear how other people have found maternity leave and if anybody like myself has changed their mind and decided not to return to work afterwards? I'm currently on 12 months maternity leave; I've worked full time for ten years and worked through my studies prior to this. I've always worked so being at home for so long (DS is now 8 months old) has been a major shock to the system! I'm thinking about not returning to work after maternity. Me and DH are thinking I will be a SAHM while we grow our family and I will get a part time term time job once they are in nursery/school. We have arrived to this decision because we have no child care, no family support. I also do not want to leave DS with strangers until he can understand what is going on and can talk back. The cost of child care would leave little profit from my wage after travel etc. The time to get to and from my place of work would also make things impossible. I realise some people don't get the choice and I'm lucky I do. Things are financially tight but we can manage on DH wage with some cuts.

Sometimes not having much adult interaction all day can be difficult, however I actually get more sense out of my 8 month old than I did out of some adults at work. They didn't talk to you like adults and spoke to you like children a lot of the time. The negative attitudes within my work place and the way they treated me throughout my pregnancy has made my decision to leave a lot easier. I can understand being happier to go back to work if you have a better workplace to go back to. I can't guarantee I won't apply for a part time job (hopefully in a lot nicer of a workplace than my current role) at some point sooner than mine and DH's plan. For now though I'm very happy with my decision. Any negatives of being a SAHM are very quickly forgotten about when I cast my mind back to how belittled I felt at work and how undervalued I was. Every time my beautiful DS smiles at me I feel on top of the world and can see how much value I have to him.

Dreams16 Sun 12-Nov-17 17:17:52

Hi Op

I never returned back to my work after maternity leave however my warning to you would be to check what you will owe the company by not returning I am currently waiting to find out what I owe 😞 as I had enhanced top up for the first few months of my maternity leave you will not be made to pay back the stat maternity pay but if your company paid you more than that you could have to pay that back.

I decided to leave for many reasons first being that I never truly loved my old job it had caused me many a misery during my time working within the company but mainly because both me and DH felt that we couldn’t put our DC into nursery at the time we felt he was too young would have been 6 months old full days and the commute back and for to work with my DC was a worry as it was busy roads and lastly the reason for me to just give up a job was that I plan to go back to college and re train for a different career so I felt it wouldn’t have an effect on me being out of work if I were to be doing something different with my life.

I do however have a part time job back in retail only work weekends so that DH can cover child care again I only done this so that I can cover my own bills not expect my DH to cover my own bills as well as our mortgage and house bills would be really unfair on my DH plus as much as I love spending time with my DC I also love those few hours I get to be me and interact with other adults so maybe that could be an option for you if you were to leave your current job look for part time work elsewhere that can allow you the freedom and flexibility around childcare.

grobagsforever Sun 12-Nov-17 17:18:36

How will you protect your future earning potential and pension? And ensure your financial stability in the event of divorce or death?

Thirtyrock39 Sun 12-Nov-17 17:21:48

Just be aware it's bloody hard getting back into work (especially popular part time work) when you've been a sahm.
I think with one kid it's usually financially worth returning as you'll always earn more than what you'll pay for a childminder and I'd be tempted to go back for six months to ensure you don't have to pay any mat pay back and just see how you find it

bakingaddict Sun 12-Nov-17 17:27:33

Is it possible to go back part time and look for something else? You say you've studied and trained for this job but will it be easy to get back into your field after time out. Trying to rejoin the workplace after a few years break means never getting back to the level you were originally at let alone advancing your career. It can be career suicide in a lot of fields

Mummaofboys Sun 12-Nov-17 17:35:59

Go for it be a stay at home mum and have a few more kids if that's what you want to do, he's only eight months now but soon he will be chatting away to you so you won't feel as lonely. if you want to grow your family the childcare costs can be astronomical so staying at home maybe a good option.

You say you might like a part time term time job when your kids are at school but I doubt this is possible because so does everybody else and only a very lucky few can find part time term time jobs as soon as one comes up every mum In a 50 mile radius will apply.

yikesanotherbooboo Sun 12-Nov-17 17:56:52

I loved being at home with the children but and was twice for 2 years each time over 3 children. I have a good professional qualification and can easily get part time work. You have to think about your future security and how to extricate yourself from your current position. Termtime , schoolhour jibs are very rare and even less likely to provide interest or good career prospects . You do have to take your future into account.

flowery Sun 12-Nov-17 18:03:02

Be wary of assuming you will be able to walk into a sought-after part-time term time only job after several years out of the workplace. That’s unlikely to happen.

MrsBriteSide Sun 12-Nov-17 18:33:25

As someone who is just starting to phase DD into nursery at 6.5 months old, I understand it’s a lot easier to do it at this young age than when they are old enough to understand that you are leaving them. I just wanted to flag that as if you end up looking after your kids at home and then taking them straight to school when the time comes, it may be a bit tougher for them than if they had been cared for away from you sometimes beforehand. Just something to think about.

PotteringAlong Sun 12-Nov-17 18:36:22

and I will get a part time term time job

I can almost guarantee that you won't be able to get a part time term time only job having not worked for years.

Chosenbyyou Sun 12-Nov-17 21:00:27


Sounds like you have thought it through and would be happier - that is the main thing to be honest. Others have warned about the future and getting a job but I think that depends on what type of job you would like to do and in what area.

I have been off with my second for 7 months and am 100% going back - I have not once questioned that and I know it is the right decision for me and my family. Will give you my rationale so as you can compare -

Professional job.
Spent years training and getting qualified.
Well paid - same as DH wages.
Good nursery I trust.
Flexible hours.
Good working environment.
Challenging and rewarding work.
Good future potential.
Two lots of income provide us with the holidays and luxuries we enjoy.
Get personal fulfilment that I am lacking with the monotony of childcare.
Want to provide a working parent role model for my children.

You will know the right decision for you and your family xx

Courgettekatie Sun 12-Nov-17 21:06:22

It’s fine to not go back and sad you feel you have to justify it so much. It’s okay to say you want to be the one with your baby all day. It also doesn’t mean your not stimulated by adult conversation, of course you can read/ watch the news meet adults. Looking after a small child you get out what you put in and it can be fascinating and rewarding.

starpatch Sun 12-Nov-17 21:46:10

I was in your position few years ago. Really glad I was a stay at home mum. Totally agree with posters who say it's hard to get back to work. But in my view being there for your children when they are small is a huge thing and outweighs that.

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