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Dummy withdrawn now in toddler HELL!!!

(14 Posts)
Chuf Thu 09-Nov-17 22:38:14

We withdrew my 3 year old son's dummy recently, he just used to use it at night. It went OK at first, but then he started getting up earlier and earlier and more in the night. Coming up to bedtime he is so tired he is all over the place screaming at us etc. During the day can be pretty bad too. Before removing the dummy he has been having more tantrums and now with the lack of sleep on top his mood has been so irritable. He won't nap in the day anymore, and is resisting bedtime more and more. I have contemplated giving him the dummy back and trying again in a few months, but my partner thinks I am crazy, I feel awful putting my son through this twice, and the dentist says his teeth are starting to be pushed out. Any advice would be great. Is this a phase and should we push on? It's not helped by the fact that it's not that long since he dropped his nap and this new sense of determination he has. He is fighting us all the time and we are giving in as we feel it's mostly tiredness related and being firm doesn't seem to help. Bit of a mess! Thanks in advance xx

HamSandWitches Thu 09-Nov-17 22:41:35

Bribery, let him choose a nice toy to sleep with and tell him it's instead of the dummy. My 3 were dummy mad, had to go cold turkey with bribery. One got a cheap toy or teddy every day for a week, she would take the bears she bought to bed with her.

SWtobe Thu 09-Nov-17 22:44:40

Do you drive would he maybe take a nap if you bring him out in the car. Make him nice and comfortable maybe some warm milk before the drive

Chuf Fri 10-Nov-17 06:58:34

He has a comforter toy but he doesn't seem to be using it. We could go to make a bear or something though and see if that would help. Thanks xx

Chuf Fri 10-Nov-17 07:00:06

I don't drive unfortunately, but I did take him out in the buggy and he fell asleep for only half an hour and was worse after. I did take him out though, I could bring the buggy home and see if he sleeps longer. Cheers x

SWtobe Fri 10-Nov-17 09:05:24

Sometimes when my child wouldn’t nap I would put her in the pram all cosy after some nice food and rocked the pram with my foot till she fell asleep in a dark room that always seemed to work.

moggle Fri 10-Nov-17 09:09:14

No advice, only sympathy. We're preparing to get rid of DDs dummy, she's about to turn three, and this is what I'm dreading happening. I keep reading "we took it away and she fell straight to sleep and never mentioned it again!" And I just KNOW that is not going to happen here.
However... now it's done i wouldn't give it back. Good luck...

Whistle73 Fri 10-Nov-17 11:00:05

Lots of three year-olds don't nap in the day - my DD2 gave up her daytime nap aged 2 - so that could be just coincidence, that it has happened at the same time as the dummy withdrawal.

I took her dummy off her aged 3 as well on the advice of the dentist. I had so much angst about taking it away from her and sat downstairs in tears of guilt about it but it only took two nights for her to then go to sleep without crying for it!

She did regress to having a bottle of milk at bedtime for a while. Not ideal I know but it was a much easier habit to break than a dummy.

Please don't give the dummy back - you are only prolonging the agony you are in now and confusing him. Persevere and accept the day time sleep has now gone and maybe try the bedtime routine a little earlier to compensate.

Is he waking early because he is cold? or maybe the heating coming on is waking him up?

BellyBean Fri 10-Nov-17 12:13:21

DD didn't have a dummy at that age and still went through a bedtime battle phase. Might be coincidence

LapinR0se Fri 10-Nov-17 12:16:41

At 3 he should be ok without a nap but needs to go to bed early to make sure he gets enough sleep. He sounds desperately overtired.
I would buy something special as a treat for being such a big boy and lights out by 7pm every night for a week to see how you go.
Other thing to consider is whether he’s not sick or coming down with something

Chuf Fri 10-Nov-17 22:22:30

Ta, I think we just have to plough through. Good luck to you too xx

oldbirdy Fri 10-Nov-17 22:26:17

We always lost the dummy on holiday. I "forgot" to take any with us. They were all ok about it after a difficult first night where I apologised and asked them to try hard to be brave.
Maybe you could do that over Christmas if you are travelling?

Chuf Fri 10-Nov-17 22:38:32

Thanks whistle73 I think it is cold when he wakes up early. We do need to get stricter at a 7pm bedtime for the time being as you said LapinR0se, this whole thing was made worse by the fact that he got a nasty virus the week after we gave up the dummy. That's when the sleep went haywire. My friends son is going through a similar bad sleep patch as you said belly bean. We are being v gentle with our son and pretty much giving into his every whim cos we feel most of this is tiredness related. But I am worried we are making it worse. Do you think we should be a bit more firm/boundaried with him? When we tried that the first day things just got so much worse! X

Believeitornot Fri 10-Nov-17 22:42:40

If he’s cold then give him an extra blanket when you go to bed.

We had to give dd a lot more physical comfort to settle her for sleep once her dummy was gone (she was nearly 4). It took her a long time to stop talking about it but she def needed more cuddles etc from us.

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