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4 weeks baby only sleeping in my arms

(41 Posts)
ahsat84 Thu 09-Nov-17 21:33:49

My 4 week old used to sleep in his Moses basket on and off , in the past week he screams 5 minutes after being put down in the day and night. It's exhausting at night as I'm staying awake while he sleeps in my arms and we are taking it in shifts but husband is back to work now.

I've read other posts and tried swaddling which he hates, tried warming the Moses basket and also tried sleepyhead but nothing makes a difference

Any advice or any ideas when and how it will get better ?

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Thu 09-Nov-17 21:52:48

Ah poor little things probably had only just realised that you can put him down and be separate. Have you tried putting one of DHs (if you have one) worn shirts in the Moses basket? They often find the smell comforting? You could use it as a sheet on the mattress.

user1493413286 Thu 09-Nov-17 22:41:08

I felt like I tried everything but actually the main thing it took was time unfortunately. Sometimes my DD would settle if I put her down very slowly then kept my hand on her chest until she fell into a deeper sleep

Changerofname987654321 Thu 09-Nov-17 22:42:50

Have you thought about cosleeping? This website is very helpful

Ropsleybunny Thu 09-Nov-17 22:45:53

It’s really important that you both get some quality sleep. Have you tried settling your baby with some white noise? My DS wanted to be held but I was almost insane from lack of sleep. White noise worked for us.

ODog Fri 10-Nov-17 06:23:27

Very very normal. Google 4th trimester. Sling in the day and safe cosleeping at night.

huha Fri 10-Nov-17 06:39:59

I co-slept and it saved my sanity.

Redken24 Fri 10-Nov-17 06:41:43

Co sleep til out of the fourth trimester

Digestive28 Fri 10-Nov-17 07:11:56

You need to decide if you are just going to go with it (essentially let them sleep in your arms via co sleeping) or not, if not you need to be consistent in persevering with the things you try. My view is that neither are going to make a long term difference and you do what suits and will give you most sleep. I could fall asleep standing up with newborn so co slept no problem but others couldn't get comfy/were nervous about it so didn't work for them. Do what works to get you sleep. Good luck

Firenight Fri 10-Nov-17 07:16:39

It’s really normal.

Would you consider setting up your bed for cosleeping safely?

I found it so much easier to go with the flow than to fret about what the baby “should” be doing. It took me two kids to get to that point though.

Lemondrop99 Fri 10-Nov-17 08:48:22

We've found the Love to Dream swaddle very effective. It allows the natural arms up position and baby can still touch face to soothe. White noise on at a loud volume also helped us. Many people have it on too quietly.

Lemondrop99 Fri 10-Nov-17 09:08:46

Oh! Also try a Snugglbundl. Once asleep, it's much easier to put baby down without waking. We don't use it overnight, but brill for supervised daytime naps

sthitch Fri 10-Nov-17 10:55:11

Try this -

Play it quite loud in a quiet room while he's in the moses basket - worked really well for me and others. It seems to settle them and stop the crying/relax them until they drop off.

Worth a try anyway. smile

ahsat84 Fri 10-Nov-17 12:25:06

Thank you all will keep going and try the suggestions. Anyone that has had the same issue - approximately how long did it last? I know babies are all different but feel like having a rough idea might help!

Jenpug Fri 10-Nov-17 13:53:57

In my experience a lot of babies get a lot better at sleeping after 3 months.

Marcine Fri 10-Nov-17 13:55:27

I slept with mine at first but they were mostly in a cot by 8-10 weeks.

stepmum88 Fri 10-Nov-17 17:52:41

I feel your pain -DS slept in his basket for 2/3 weeks & then refused. After a week of no sleep at all I decided he didn’t like the smell of his Moses basket and got him a next to me- which he will sleep in ☺️ with a Poddle pod! Be aware of letting Baby sleep in your bed- have a look at the lullaby trust websight to help. Good luck 🤞🤞 let us know how you got on. x

Digestive28 Fri 10-Nov-17 20:14:58

My first was back and forth co sleeping and still is a few years later but have second slept on my chest for first eight weeks and since then not wanted to share a bed at all.

Ifyouthinkiwillsleepyoudream Fri 10-Nov-17 20:23:04

Ah DS was exactly the same and I was the most knackered I’ve ever been in my life, by far, on those first couple of months. We started establishing a routine at about 8-10 weeks and by the time he was 3 months he was sleeping much better (by which I mean he did some 3-4 he stretches on his own! We still spent plenty time awake in the middle of the night feeding. But at least he could sleep in his cot next to my bed for a bit). Wishing you the best! I know how hard it can be. Remember it’s a matter of time before things improve and they will smile

Poosnu Fri 10-Nov-17 20:34:56

Yes, it is fairly normal - DC 2 & 3 were both like this. I co slept safely for the first few months and everyone got enough sleep this way. Of course they settled in the cot when ready, it just takes time.

Triangularsquare Fri 10-Nov-17 20:55:07

I hated co-sleeping. I found it so uncomfortable. I'd fall asleep and wake up to find my body had locked in to position like some 6th sense took over to stop me crushing the baby and I was so stiff I could barely move. We had a bed side cot which was so much better. He was right next to me and would sleep with my hand on him but I could move away a little in the middle of the night and the separate mattresses meant he wasn't woken by my movement. He was also in a purflo nest which is like a cheap version of a sleepyhead which helped loads. Mine wasn't quite so tricky about sleeping alone at night (though only slept in a sling for naps until 6 months). But by 7 weeks I was putting him down to bed at 7ish and leaving him for a couple of hours before I went to bed. Good luck! God it's exhausting. Mine's now 11 months and I'm still scarred by the newborn days though it's MUCH easier now

Triangularsquare Fri 10-Nov-17 20:58:44

Not an expensive tailor-made bedside cot by the way. Just our standard IKEA one with the side taken off, a blanket under the mattress to bring it up to the same height as our bed and wedged between the bed and wall. Worth a try that way before shelling out for a next-to-me or similar if you just want to experiment

SandunesAndRainclouds Fri 10-Nov-17 21:01:08

Safe co-sleeping and a bedside cot were my saviours. I tried staying awake with babe in arms but it's just not safe, especially if you over tire and fall asleep yourself.

Passmethecrisps Fri 10-Nov-17 21:06:16

It is normal but that doesn’t make it much easier to cope with when you are absolutely exhausted.

I know you say he hates the swaddle but it might be worth persevering and trying a different type. I am a bit evangelical about swaddling though so feel free to ignore!

I cosleep (with a bedside cot) but I don’t bedshare as I wouldn’t be comfortable. However, something I started doing when my dd was tiny was at least one nap of the day on the bed together. I learned to feed lying down and would plug her in then we would both doze. I would feel so much better having an hour or two like that.

My first was a terribly independent wee thing and was only really happy when by herself. It was a. It was a bit of a shock to have dd2 who took her fourth trimester terribly seriously. She is 20 weeks now and sleeps well (swaddled though) for naps and through the night.

This will pass. And one day you will look back on this time with fondness. Or it not fondness at least it will have past

HopeAndJoy16 Fri 10-Nov-17 21:16:41

I slept with my lg either on my chest while I propped myself up with pillows or curled around her, we actually slept a lot better than when she was in her Next to Me. It is just about finding out what works for you, and making it as safe as possible if you cosleep. It does pass, and she now sleeps in her cot mostly (she's 6months now).

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