How do I get my children to do things? They are 7 and 5 and I’m a single parent. I want the older one especially to help me with a little housework like put his washed clothes away or dust the tv. Today I wanted both to spend some time doing school homework (it’s online) but they both refused and I ended up shouting at them until they did. I need another approach. I also threatened them with no pocket money next week. They didn’t seem that bothered. I really want to shout less. Thanks.
I would quit the shouting and threatening as that is going to make them less likely to help. Start slowly, start of with easy tasks that you help with turning it into a game or challenge. My 4 little ones 3,4,7,9 all help because it’s fun and they don’t have to I think when you start setting strict chores and punishing if they are not done in time it dosnt work. We put music on or set alarms to see who can tidy something away the quickest for example it also so much easier and enjoyable for parents to make chores fun.
I don't expect my young children to do housework. They are expected to put dirty clothes in the laundry basket and keep their bedrooms vaguely tidy. HW. TV (or whatever) after it is done. It's non negotiable.
While you get them into the routine you could try something like a starch art or marble jar.
If they do what they are supposed to, they earn a sticker and enough stickers = getting their pocket money or a magazine or whatever.
The other approach is to have a strict routine of order where nice things for them don't happen unless they do what they are supposed to. Eg, they must do their homework before they are allowed to watch tv or play out. They must lay the table before you will serve dinner. They must give their room a quick tidy before bed on sundays (supervise and be specific though, point out you must put the books back on the shelf, now put your clothes away etc) or they lose whatever treat you might offer on a Sunday night.
We do different things at different times, it depends a lot on the child think! Some children will decide that they aren't bothered about a sticker, so a more immediate approach is necessary.
Make a home timetable. Stick on any chores /homework +screen time /snack time etc. They work on timetable at school so make home ones more fun! Chance to earn rewards to be cashed in at the week ends also works!!