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Getting children to do stuff

(8 Posts)
Juststopamoment Sun 05-Nov-17 22:51:44

How do I get my children to do things? They are 7 and 5 and I’m a single parent. I want the older one especially to help me with a little housework like put his washed clothes away or dust the tv. Today I wanted both to spend some time doing school homework (it’s online) but they both refused and I ended up shouting at them until they did. I need another approach. I also threatened them with no pocket money next week. They didn’t seem that bothered. I really want to shout less. Thanks.

pinkliquorice Sun 05-Nov-17 22:56:22

I would quit the shouting and threatening as that is going to make them less likely to help.
Start slowly, start of with easy tasks that you help with turning it into a game or challenge.
My 4 little ones 3,4,7,9 all help because it’s fun and they don’t have to I think when you start setting strict chores and punishing if they are not done in time it dosnt work.
We put music on or set alarms to see who can tidy something away the quickest for example it also so much easier and enjoyable for parents to make chores fun.

Juststopamoment Mon 06-Nov-17 05:41:21

But what about school
homework? That can’t be turned into a game.

pinkliqourice Mon 06-Nov-17 11:43:03

Are you doing it with them?
There’s no way my 7 or 9 year olds would sit and do homework on there own so we turn it into teamwork, even getting them to help each other.

Wolfiefan Mon 06-Nov-17 11:46:52

I don't expect my young children to do housework. They are expected to put dirty clothes in the laundry basket and keep their bedrooms vaguely tidy.
HW. TV (or whatever) after it is done. It's non negotiable.

WhirlwindHugs Mon 06-Nov-17 11:52:47

While you get them into the routine you could try something like a starch art or marble jar.

If they do what they are supposed to, they earn a sticker and enough stickers = getting their pocket money or a magazine or whatever.

The other approach is to have a strict routine of order where nice things for them don't happen unless they do what they are supposed to. Eg, they must do their homework before they are allowed to watch tv or play out. They must lay the table before you will serve dinner. They must give their room a quick tidy before bed on sundays (supervise and be specific though, point out you must put the books back on the shelf, now put your clothes away etc) or they lose whatever treat you might offer on a Sunday night.

We do different things at different times, it depends a lot on the child think! Some children will decide that they aren't bothered about a sticker, so a more immediate approach is necessary.

Justbookedasummmerholiday Mon 06-Nov-17 11:56:11

Make a home timetable. Stick on any chores /homework +screen time /snack time etc.
They work on timetable at school so make home ones more fun!
Chance to earn rewards to be cashed in at the week ends also works!!

Bluebell9 Mon 06-Nov-17 12:39:12

If they refuse to do homework or things you've asked them to do, I would use an immediate consequences or incentives.

Consequences we use with DSC are;
No TV/computer games until task is done
5 Mins earlier to bed for each time they are asked and they refuse
No treats ie sweets

We also use incentives such as;
playing a game of the DSCs choice together,
Going to the park/ somewhere else they want to go,
getting a treat,

but they only get it when they have done what has been asked.

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