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Is it really easier going from 2-3 children then it is 1-2?!

(46 Posts)
coffeecoffeemorecoffee Thu 02-Nov-17 21:55:03

Just found out I'm pregnant, there will be 20 months between my youngest and the new baby. I found it incredibly difficult adjusting with going from 1-2, I've heard it's easier she number 3 comes along. Is it true?!

coffeecoffeemorecoffee Thu 02-Nov-17 21:55:28

When number 3**

FATEdestiny Thu 02-Nov-17 21:56:48

We have 4 children. I found the adjustment going from 2 to 3 hardest. Sorry.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Thu 02-Nov-17 21:58:43

Yes! It's easier. I have a 21 month gap between ds2 and ds3. They are now teens,

0-1 hardest
1-2 second hardest
2-3 easy peasy

Good luck OP but it'll be fine.

Thunderblunder Thu 02-Nov-17 21:59:30

5 children here and 2-3 was definitely the hardest adjustment. It was the first time we were outnumbered.

FATEdestiny Thu 02-Nov-17 22:00:32

Oh, I didn't think about the 0-1 child transition. That was definately definitely the hardest and steepest learning curve, as PP mentions. After thst though, 2-3 was my hardest.

lilyfire Thu 02-Nov-17 22:01:27

I have three, and nineteen months between last two. Definitely found harder going from 1 to 2 than 2 to 3. I think it was just that things were pretty chaotic by that stage anyway, so a bit more chaos didn't register so much. When it was just one, it was relatively manageable and so having another was more of a shock.

EssexCat Thu 02-Nov-17 22:06:12

0-1 was horrendous. 2-3 was honestly super easy and I now adore having 3.

hazeyjane Thu 02-Nov-17 22:06:15

2-3 was definitely hardest, dd's were 3 and 4 when ds was born, but ds is disabled,so obviously this made a difference.

Consideredintrusion Thu 02-Nov-17 22:07:24

Many congratulations OP!

Yes in my experience going from 2-3 was far easier than 1-2. the older two played well together so there was that, and our routines were very well established so number 3 just had to get on with it and slot in. Which she did.

If you’re wondering, 3-4 was a walk in the park.

coffeecoffeemorecoffee Thu 02-Nov-17 22:08:24

With my first I didn't even know I had her, textbook baby, still is. My second is currently 14 months and is testing my parenting to its limit, tantrums, beyond clingy! Love her to bits but she's tough at times! My though process is that by the time baby is here she will be 2 and my eldest will be 4 1/2 so they will keep each other company when I'm feeding the baby etc in the early days?! Or is that wishful thinking...

MummyNessi Thu 02-Nov-17 22:08:25

I absolutely thought 2-3 was harder than 1-2. 0-1 was the biggest adjustment. 1-2 I found easy but then 2-3 kind of knocked me over the edge to zombie land for several years.. sorry.. BUT it seems like people who find the 1-2 adjustment hard do better with the 2-3.
Mine are 2,1/2 and 2 years apart.

Starwhisperer Thu 02-Nov-17 22:09:04

Currently dealing with 1-3 It's beyond hard!

IamPickleRick Thu 02-Nov-17 22:12:01

I have a 15mo gap between 2 & 3. Littlest one is 3mo old and each day I swing between deep despair and euphoria. It's really really hard but 0-1 was hardest.

coffeecoffeemorecoffee Thu 02-Nov-17 22:14:43

Star that must be difficult! I've also thought, what if it's twins?!

Starwhisperer Thu 02-Nov-17 22:21:18

We always find a way to manage though. I think there's a point where as parents it's possible to have too many children to manage to 2,3 or even 4 probably isn't it.

Changednamejustincase Thu 02-Nov-17 22:22:20

No!

Justbookedasummmerholiday Thu 02-Nov-17 22:23:38

Double figures here.
Love it!!

coffeecoffeemorecoffee Thu 02-Nov-17 22:34:40

Those of you saying it's harder going from 2-3 what did you find hardest. I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself...

SpareASquare Thu 02-Nov-17 22:42:46

There are 14 mths between my 2 and 3rd and I didn't find it overly difficult. First was not quite 3 when number 3 was born and it was ok. TBH, I found it was harder when they were 2,3 & 4. Kept me on my toes, that's for sure but babyhood was a lot smoother than I imagined it would be. No 3 was a bonus, not at all expected and I was quite worried for a while about how I would cope.
If I had to say what was the hardest going from 2-3 I'd say it was the mischief the first two occasionally got up to if I was distracted. The upside is that they often occupied each other for long stretches as well smile

IamPickleRick Thu 02-Nov-17 23:25:23

Things I struggle with;

- carrying them both to the car. Middle one runs away so it has to be done in stages.
- being unable to move because you are breastfeeding one while the other smashes up your house
- after breastfeeding, the middle one will become jealous of the baby having a bottle and attempt to snatch it off you/claw at the baby's face to get the bottle
- making dinner because they can't be left alone together. I have to put the baby in a sling.
- when one wakes up screaming, you have to move quickly otherwise the other one will wake
- nappies. I changed 7 poo's one day last week.
- middle one can remember all the toys being theirs. Has a tantrum and refuses to share even the changing mat.
- school run. One of my littlest two will be guaranteed to sleep in and wake up angry and red.
- Victorian school classrooms are not equipped for a double buggy, never mind trying to listen to feedback when you have two babies screaming in your face/smashing things up.
- afterschool activities for the eldest. We had a Halloween party that was great fun for DS1&2 but the baby screamed from start to finish. That was a fun day.
- baby classes. I can't do sensory class with the baby as the middle one will be uncontrollable yet isn't old enough to go to playgroup so I just can't go. The best groups are the church ones where everyone is lovely and helps you.
- middle one trying to be helpful by putting dinner/nappies/vests/toy cars on the baby's head.

A lot of these are because my DS2 is a live wire but he's still only just a year and a half. The biggest pro so far is that I don't feel too sleep deprived because that is the least of my worries. 😂

coffeecoffeemorecoffee Fri 03-Nov-17 07:48:47

Lots of things to consider then 😁 I think I will just baby proof my house as best I can so that if I'm sat feeding, the middle one can't get into too much mischief! It's already chaos so I'm hoping the new baby will just slot right in and i won't notice hmm haha

bunerison Fri 03-Nov-17 07:55:42

I found 0-1 fine 1-2 a breeze and 2-3 really really hard. It might hVe been my age gaps, 4 years between 2&3 but I really wondered what I had done for about 18 months. However, youngest is 7 and I adore having 3, he's my special bonus boy and the absolute icing on our cake

meditrina Fri 03-Nov-17 08:05:52

Yes, hard as you go from player-to-player marking to area defence.

But I found it harder to go from 0-1 and 1-2. By 2-3 the eldest is older and things have changed a bit.

IamPickleRick Fri 03-Nov-17 08:15:27

Oh we are fully baby proofed but he just gets inventive with his smashing 😂 his favourite activity while I am breastfeeding is to climb onto the little Ikea Lack table, close his eyes and start spinning around! He's tipped an entire cup of milk up the wall, split his bumbo in half....

I am pretty sure that it won't be as bad as that - and you are right, the chaos doesn't really change so that's a good thing. There is just more to carry mainly! And bonus - you'll find the middle one becomes very independent quickly. For all his craziness, he can actually get himself dressed at 17 months old! Your middle one has 5+ months on mine too, so may be less jealous and more able to articulate feelings. Good luck flowers

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