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Parenting without punishment

(276 Posts)
pinkliquorice Thu 02-Nov-17 13:14:04

In general mumsnet seems quite punishment happy and this approach seems to be heavily criticised.
Just wanted to start a thread for other parents to share their tips and experiences with not punishing.

Anyone else against punishments?
Anyone wanting to try it?

2014newme Thu 02-Nov-17 13:14:50

😂😂😂 we don't punish but there are consequences for actions

pinkliquorice Thu 02-Nov-17 13:16:19

Lots of people on mumsnet do punish though?
My children have natural consequences for their actions too.

2014newme Thu 02-Nov-17 13:17:14

Mine have access to technology removed

Soubriquet Thu 02-Nov-17 13:26:19

Natural consequences are punishments

pinkliquorice Thu 02-Nov-17 13:26:47


For doing what?
That is technically a punishment not a natural consequence for most bad behaviour.

InDubiousBattle Thu 02-Nov-17 13:28:16

Can you define 'punishment' please.

2014newme Thu 02-Nov-17 13:28:38

For example, if one pinched the other (twins) after being warned to stop.

2014newme Thu 02-Nov-17 13:29:14

Then the pincher would not have access to screen time fir the rest if the day

pinkliquorice Thu 02-Nov-17 13:29:38


Maybe sometimes a natural consequence can be seen as a punishment. What I mean is I do not punish my DC, I don’t hand out un natural consequences such as naughty step, confiscations, chores, being grounded or being shouted at.

Passthecake30 Thu 02-Nov-17 13:30:22

Mine have privileges taken away, mainly their IPads. Is that a punishment?

LiquoricePickle Thu 02-Nov-17 13:30:30

A natural consequence would be removing the child to stop the other one getting hurt.

2014newme Thu 02-Nov-17 13:30:36

So what would you do if one child hurt the other?

LiquoricePickle Thu 02-Nov-17 13:30:53

Removing screen time would be considered an artificial punishment.

Passthecake30 Thu 02-Nov-17 13:31:32

What do you do if you dc is naughty?

pinkliquorice Thu 02-Nov-17 13:31:34


Okay well that is a punishment, having technology taken away for pinching is not a natural consequence. It’s unnatural that you have imposed as a punishment

2014newme Thu 02-Nov-17 13:31:58

What's a natural punishment then and why us it better as act removal of screen time works very well and

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck Thu 02-Nov-17 13:33:34

DS2 panics if I remind him of what the natural consequence will be, and his behaviour gets worse because he's panicking. confused

pinkliquorice Thu 02-Nov-17 13:33:50

You can do what you want, punishment might work for you. I made this thread for people punishments don’t work for.

By punishments I mean unnatural consequences such as naughty step or being grounded or having items confiscated or events cancelled.

Twofishfingers Thu 02-Nov-17 13:34:26

Pink, may I ask how old your children are?

2014newme Thu 02-Nov-17 13:34:47

Are there any examples of natural consequences I see none on this thread
🤔 in our house the natural consequence of being mean to your sister us no WiFi

pinkliquorice Thu 02-Nov-17 13:34:56


3,4,7,9 and 22

FrancisCrawford Thu 02-Nov-17 13:34:58

Another one for natural consequences

Room left with dirty dishes, empty cans all over the place - no food or drink (other than water) upstairs. And room thoroughly cleaned, obviously

Didn’t do dishes for two a hours after tea - dishes to be done before doing anything else

2014newme Thu 02-Nov-17 13:35:42

How us no food or drink upstairs different to no WiFi

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck Thu 02-Nov-17 13:36:37

Having an event cancelled can be a natural consequence. "If you're having tantrums, I can't take you out because I can't control you and you might get hurt."

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