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Have you refused to let anyone take a photograph of your baby knowing the pictures will end up on social media? Has this caused fights?

(41 Posts)
Walkingonsunshine1992 Tue 31-Oct-17 05:35:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MacTweedy Tue 31-Oct-17 05:52:11

Sorry but that’s the most judgy end to a sentence that starts ‘not judging...’

Just tell people you don’t want pictures on social media. Put a message on said social media saying the same thing?

MaverickSnoopy Tue 31-Oct-17 06:00:26

We just tell people that we don't put pictures on social media. It's caused some upset over the years where some people don't understand and some people put pictures up forgetting and then we have to ask them to take them down which causes more upset. It is what it is.

Noimbrianfromhull Tue 31-Oct-17 06:22:35

Not judging = judging very much indeed.

1Wanda1 Tue 31-Oct-17 06:25:44

I know a few people who are/have been very anti having photos of their baby on social media, so I would never post a picture of someone else’s child on my social media without asking first. But, in this day and age if I had another child I’d think about how I intended to manage the issue for the rest of their childhood, and start with that “policy” from the beginning.

When your child goes to school, will you tick the box on forms saying that you do not give consent for photos of your child to be used in school publications/social media/local press?

Obviously in the small number of cases where there is a safeguarding issue, it’s important kids aren’t featured in photos from which they could be identified. In most other cases, by school age it tends to mark a child out to be left out of school photos and I can remember a few times at my DC’s schools where their friends were upset by having to be left out of a whole class or whole cast of play photo that was going to be in the local press.

My DC are now teenagers and can’t move 5 yards without posting a selfie on their own social media. This seems to be very much the norm in their age group.

Kittymum03 Tue 31-Oct-17 06:25:58

My brothers girlfriends family put a picture of our son on FB. I didn't say anything at the time but when they got married & it came to pictures I said to them (discreetly) 'Can you noT put his pic on FB please as we don't put him on there' they said fine.

I mean, I don't know if they moaned about it behind our back or anything, but it is what it is.

I also think your OP sounds judgy.

GreenGoblin0 Tue 31-Oct-17 07:33:05

You lost me at "not judging"

DelphiniumBlue Tue 31-Oct-17 07:48:00

Mine are grown now, and I wouldn't post photos of them without their permission anyway, as they are very sensitive about how they look, but why don't you want people knowing what your child looks like?

Steeley113 Tue 31-Oct-17 08:10:03

Never understood why people don't... mainly because I'm constantly flashing baby pics to people I know in rl grin

GummyGoddess Tue 31-Oct-17 08:23:38

We don't want many pictures on social media, partly because although we personally know the very few people on our lists, my mother has hundreds of complete strangers. It caused a massive huffy fit but she doesn't do it now, though still doesn't understand.

It also put a stop to the constant selfies with my baby when she came around and now she actually plays rather than taking pictures.

user1493413286 Wed 01-Nov-17 15:39:03

I told family and friends before DD was born that I wasn’t happy with photos of her online and since she’s been born I tend to say to people do you mind not putting it online. No one has been bothered by it

Newtothismumthing1 Thu 02-Nov-17 17:17:28

I dont want pics of my DD all over social media. Neither me or my husband have posted her anyway, not even our WhatsApp dp's; unfortunately a friend of mine posted her on instagram- I kind of assumed people check with the parents before doing so. It's awkward to ask her to take them down but essentially I have no idea of the random people she has added to her profile.

Walkingonsunshine1992 Sat 04-Nov-17 11:03:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crunkly Sun 05-Nov-17 14:02:19

If you ask people not to post or to take it down I think people are pretty understanding. No need to get all judgemental or preachy about it but if they ask you can politely explain why.
I post loads of pics of my little one on social media, but I limit who can see it. (I’ve got an acquaintances list so I do friends except acquaintances) If I take any pictures of other peoples kids I send them in a private message and let them decide if they want to share it.

greendale17 Sun 05-Nov-17 14:03:37

We told everyone and they respected our wishes. Same with our wedding

Crunkly Sun 05-Nov-17 14:09:25

Your reasons for not wanting to have them online are totally valid btw. If you explain them to anyone I fail to see why they would try to get round it. Sorry you don’t trust your family enough to know they’d stick to it. Personally I can see why grandparents would want a few pics on their phone to be able to at least show to friends in person when they ask. I have a whatsapp group to send the grandparents photos.

bonbonours Sun 05-Nov-17 14:43:06

Your reasons for not putting pictures up are understandable but also quite an unusual situation which is unlikely to apply to many people.

A lot of the time I tend to think people are being a bit precious when they don't want people posting pics. It's like 'my baby is so unique and important' when actually it looks like a million other babies and the only reason anyone is interested is to say 'ah, cute'.

Similarly with older kids. If someone really wants a picture of your kid they could take one walking down the street. Strangers see your kids all day long. If someone had a malicious intent they could note down your car registration and find out your child's address. They see the kids uniform and know what school they go to.

So while there is a definite place for being careful with privacy settings, not posting naked pics etc, worrying about strangers seeing perfectly normal pictures of your kids seems paranoid to me.

Walkingonsunshine1992 Mon 06-Nov-17 10:28:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MagicFajita Mon 06-Nov-17 10:32:25

We've told everyone that we want no pics of our ds on social media and they've respected this.

Walkingonsunshine1992 Mon 06-Nov-17 14:47:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Walkingonsunshine1992 Mon 06-Nov-17 14:47:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Walkingonsunshine1992 Mon 06-Nov-17 15:25:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kittymum03 Mon 06-Nov-17 16:30:24

OP I've had my mum moan at me like 'Well it's like your children don't exist, as I can't put their pics on FB with the other grandchildren' basically I just tell her it's 'Tough' & I'm not going to change my view just so she can 'Look like she has more grandchildren'
The picture I mentioned earlier in the thread, I didn't ask them to take it down. It was side on so all things considered you can't see much.
Also my nephew put a pic of my Son on their when he was a day old, hes cuddling him, all wrapped up in a blanket you can only see a tiny face (he was exited with his first cousin) Again, I didn't ask him to take it down, but he knows I don't like it & hasnt put any more on there.

SnowWhite33 Mon 06-Nov-17 16:55:04

Well I do put my DC pics on FB. Not very often, but i do.
I live in country A where my DH is from, my family live in country B and I went to uni and lived for a number of years in country C where i still have quite a few dear friends and where i still go to visit regularly. On top of that my DH and I have other friends living in countries DEF etc.
so i see social media as the connecting point as my friends and family like to see my updates and i like to see theirs. I keep my ‘friends’ list on FB quite strict and i dont stress if one of those friends puts pic of my child on FB after we have visited.

Equally i think OP reasons for not wanting any pics on social media are very valid and im sure people would respect the request of no pics, you dont even have to explain the details.

Eastie77 Mon 06-Nov-17 22:01:15

Completely understand why you wouldn’t want pictures online given the situation you describe OP.

A friend of mine doesn’t allow pictures of her son online - perfectly fine. However she is constantly extremely vocal about it and it has now become quite tedious. At his 1st birthday party she stood up at the front of the venue, clapped her hands loudly and shouted a reminder to all guests not to post any pictures. He is 5 now and she still issues ‘reminders’ at any social gatherings she takes him to. It’s faintly ridiculous really since it is rarely the case that anyone wants to take a picture of him (i.e. she will be at a friends wedding but assume that guests, who in the main do not even know her son, might take a picture of himconfused) let alone place the picture online. I have no issue with her stance but since she’s told her nearest and dearest once there is no need to repeat it non-stop.

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