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When does it get easier?

(2 Posts)
Auriofthemoon Mon 30-Oct-17 18:46:55

I’m a stay at home mum of a 3.5 year old and nearly 1 year old. The last few months have been the hardest of my life. It feels like everything is a battle.

My 3 year old who used to be so easy and eager to please and just all around a bloody delight, has turned into a grumpy, sassy little threenager who 9/10 times hates everything, asks to be sent to bed instead of helping with anything, hates her little sister, and just generally a very strong willed and independent little girl.

I know this is a good thing. I know that her being independent and assertive and confident are all good things. I know it’s my job to nurture those and help her use them in a positive way. She is so bloody smart for her age and is just so far ahead of all her milestones and every other kid in her preschool, and I feel like I’m letting her down by struggling.

My nearly 1 year old has always been independent. She never wanted too many cuddles, and only on her own terms and usually only with me wen we were nursing. She now can’t stand to be held, yet wants holding. She wants to explore absolutely everything and climb everything and be everywhere. Again, this is a good thing. She’s adventurous. Her motor skills are brilliant and she is an explorer. I try to let her explore and be as free as she safely can be, but it’s exhausting having to help her out of the things she gets stuck in (nothing serious, just under the table and stuck in between and under chair legs).

They both used to happily sit and play by themselves or separately or yh what the hell even in front of Peppa pig. But now, it’s just near constant whinging and shouting from both of them. Everything is a battle.

I’m just suffocating under the amount of whinging and shouting they are doing and now I’m bloody well doing too.

My 3 year old was so easy up until she turned 3, so having a difficult 1 year old is a shock to me and I just feel like I’m failing as a parent and dreading every minute.

I do have a history of mental illness but I’ve always been very in tune with when I’m slipping and I genuinely feel like I’m not depressed again, I’m just massively struggling with my day to day life.

I do have a supportive family, but help is limited as everyone works full time and long hours.

It doesn’t help that I’m a naturally poor sleeper as I spend all night thinking and having night mares and my 1 year old is waking up every hour and my 3 year old is waking up multiple times a night. My partner is helpful in the might and will resettle the 3 year old and get up with the 1 year old around 5 so I can have an hour.

I just need seasoned parents to tell me this is normal and it gets better. Even if it doesn’t. Just lie and say it does get better please!!

Courgettekatie Mon 30-Oct-17 18:50:50

It’s normal and it does get better , in fact between 5 and 10 they can be lovely. Be kind to yourself, you’re right sometimes just knowing it’s normal helps but also try and have things to look forward to. If you and your do can have a night out then do you never regret it.

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