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DC excluded from school friend's halloween party - What should I do?

(7 Posts)
belleville45 Sat 28-Oct-17 09:51:49

My DC has been bullied for a few years at school. I had to intervene with school and helped her re-establish some friendships. However, we have abusive ex in the background, whose actions in front of school parents has meant that they are increasingly keeping their, and their child's distance from my child.

Now she's in Y6. All girls invited to Halloween party, except my DC. I have organised T or T with friend who has a younger child, but my DC really unhappy about it - because she's excluded from school party.

She is so distressed, distraught and very sad.
What should I do? We have extremely small circle of friends (because of actions of abusive ex isolating us - long history).

Should I call the mum holding the party and ask her to invite (rebuke her for not inviting?) my child?

I put out calls to some school mums as a 'feeler' to see whether their child would like to come with my child, but none have responded.

Feel so sad for my DC.

Any advice please?

MrsOverTheRoad Sat 28-Oct-17 09:53:30

How dreadful. sad I would call the school immediately and make an appointment to speak about this. It's shocking!

Aeroflotgirl Sat 28-Oct-17 10:10:31

That is awful, and can be a form of bullying, exclusion. I would go to the school. If you talk to the mum, she might be defensive, and side with her dd. Can you take her out with a friend, on that day to do something nice.

Squealhowlscary Sat 28-Oct-17 10:12:34

That's pretty shitty to exclude your DD.
I would contact the school just to ensure that DD isn't being excluded while at school. However, although the school can help to encourage friendships between the other pupils and your DD they can't dictate who the children hand out invites to and spend time with outside of school.
I would take her ToTing and make sure she had a blast by doing something fun at home e.g. throwing a mini party for her and invite your friends DC and any neighboring children that she's friends with, or maybe carve some pumpkins, tell some scary stories and do something DD enjoys.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 28-Oct-17 10:38:26

I would do an end of yr6 party and invite the girls except her, see how she feels like! I know it's immature, never to early to learn some humility.

belleville45 Sat 28-Oct-17 11:08:48

Thanks - I've informed the school about it prior to half term as that's when I first knew about bullying resurfacing, and that she's been excluded. Have meeting with them next week.

Sadly, she only has two friends outside school now who are around, and because she's feeling bad about being excluded from big school party, she doesn't want to go with them. I've tried to make her 'chipper' about it, but it's not making any difference.

Just so awful.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 28-Oct-17 11:27:03

Oh no, how about introducing her to youth clubs or martial clubs in your town. I go to a wonderful martial arts centre, where I do kickboxing., with the kids classes, they cover bullying, confidence building as well as of course kickboxing. Might give your dd a bit of confidence and make friends outside school. Have you posted in chat or AIBU to give you more traffic, as it's a bit slow on here.

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