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Wishing away newborn days...

(25 Posts)
amys14 Sat 28-Oct-17 08:11:50

This sounds awful but does anyone else really not enjoy the newborn days? I love my little boy (7 weeks tomorrow so maybe not even classed as newborn anymore?) so much and he is a much wanted addition to our family, but I find myself wishing away the days until he’s a little older.

This is my second little boy and I felt the same with my firstborn. (Doesn’t help that both have had silent reflux). People say to cherish these days but I really don’t like them! All the crying and lack of sleep (both him and me!).

I know I’m very fortunate to have been able to have two happy, healthy boys and that many people would kill to be in my position so please do not think I’m being ungrateful. It’s just so hard and I found last time that after about three or four months I really started enjoying my older more as he was smiling and interacting and generally more settled so we were all more relaxed.

Just looking for reassurance I suppose that I’m not a terrible person for feeling this way?

PerfumeIsAMessage Sat 28-Oct-17 08:15:57

You are normal.

I also wished away toddler days.

I find newborns and toddlers totally boring I'm afraid, even my own, although obviously the unconditional love thing helps wink

I am always bemused when people go on and on about missing the food all over their faces, screaming and tantrumming days.

Give me a lovely interesting teenager any day of the week.

LuchiMangsho Sat 28-Oct-17 08:17:08

Nah babies are boring. I have two boys and the second spent 69 days in a neonatal unit as he was prem. Even then when he came home (at 36 weeks) I found the first spell really tedious. He's 9 months now (6 months adjusted age) and much more fun. Both for us and his sibling. Hang in there.

ANIDOO Sat 28-Oct-17 08:18:37

I get what you're saying. My little boy is now 12 weeks old, and I love that he's more alert and interacting. I'm itching for him to keep moving forward and learn new things!
I found the first weeks really tough as they can only communicate with crying (my baby was quite grumpy for a while as well). My sisters little boy is 8 weeks older and I keep wishing mine will do the same things as him ha ha!
Newborns are hard work. It's not all cutesy baby smile

amys14 Sat 28-Oct-17 08:19:53

Oh thank goodness @PerfumeIsAMessage even knowing one other Mum feels like that makes me feel so much better! Though I admit I’ve loved every other stage with my 2yo after the newborn stage! He’s a great little boy - although does have have his moments...

SmileSunshine Sat 28-Oct-17 08:20:07

flowers the early days are rough especially the lack of sleep and constant demands. Most parents find it a struggle so don't beat yourself up about it. I think it's the lack of sleep is the worst because I found it hard not to be grumpy. Lots of cuddles and resting in between feeds/changes. My dc didn't sleep through until 18 months so I know how you feel

amys14 Sat 28-Oct-17 08:21:24

Thank you everyone, it’s really reassuring to know it’s quite a common thought and it doesn’t make me a bad Mum! No one else seems to admit to feeling like this in person!

BendingSpoons Sat 28-Oct-17 08:21:31

I hated the sleep deprivation and it made me anxious. It's such a short time in the scheme of things, however long it seems at the time. There is still plenty of their childhood to enjoy. DD is 19 months and is hilarious. I prefer it now to newborn (and mostly get a whole night's sleep!)

Dreams16 Sat 28-Oct-17 08:25:49

Very normal I currently do that with my DC who’s now 6 month old I kept counting down when I would be able to see them do things put them in the main pram instead of the car seat feed solids to them etc I think it’s normal to want to also get them slightly older so your not waking up as much through the night with feeds getting more sleep yourself and also less of a routine that comes with having a newborn

BillywigSting Sat 28-Oct-17 08:26:28

Totally normal!

I wished away ds's newborn days. I had people telling me not to because I'd regret it left right and centre.

They were wrong. The newborn days were hard. Exhausted, hormonal, in pain, mourning my old life (might not have been helped by the fact that ds wasn't planned). It was quite frankly awful.

He's four now and life is infinitely better. I regularly say if they could just sort of emerge at about 1.5/2 years old I'd have about ten but I'm never dealing with a new baby again.

Don't get me wrong I loved ds more than anything since even before he was born but I don't cherish the early days. Even at three months old he was much more enjoyable (could be given calpol, started to smile, did more than act like a disgruntled foetus fought trimester poop machine)

CycleHire Sat 28-Oct-17 08:28:50

You’re not a terrible person. I found the newborn days very hard both times. I did have PND though - could that apply? Please speak to your doctor if you think it might. Even without PND I think it’s perfectly common and normal to enjoy different stages more or less. My mum thinks babies peak at 4 months - when they can smile and interact but before they can walk. I am enjoying my 2 year old more than my 7 yea old right now. I love them both and I’m sure it will change again.

SleepingInYourFlowerbed Sat 28-Oct-17 08:39:19

Same here. I wished away the days until they were about 4-5 months. It's completely normal. I love tiny little newborn babies but they are boring and sleep depriving. Much prefer to have cuddles with someone else's - so you can pass them back when they start crying!

LastOneDancing Sat 28-Oct-17 08:54:15

I don't think I wished away the newborn days with DS2 but I certainly felt like I was waiting out out til 5/6 months when I knew he'd start developing his personality.

People rave about newborn snuggles etc but I'd rather have toddler giggles any day ☺

LillyBugg Sat 28-Oct-17 08:59:40

Soooo normal. DS2 is five months now and I'm still wishing he would hurry and get easier! I thought I liked the baby stage as I was okay with DS1 but honestly, babies are boring and hard work and you get little reward. Roll on toddlerhood!

QueenJane Sat 28-Oct-17 09:02:25

I wished them away, and I totally understand what you mean. Now that he’s 7 months old I look back at photos of him and feel really awful. I wasn’t well and I struggled. I feel guilty about it every day.

Batteriesallgone Sat 28-Oct-17 09:02:30

I regularly say if they could just sort of emerge at about 1.5/2 years old I'd have about ten

Me too! Babies are SO BORING. Even the ‘good’ ones are boring they are just sleeping-boring rather than screaming-boring.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers Sat 28-Oct-17 09:16:20

Completely normal
You aren’t a terrible person OP.
once they’re 5/6 months you can do a lot more with them, playing, taking them out for longer etc.

silkpyjamasallday Sat 28-Oct-17 10:34:15

I think everyone feels differently at each stage, depends on the temperament of mother and baby.

I had HG for my entire pregnancy, so having a newborn, even slightly difficult DD was a blessed relief after such a horrendous pregnancy where I spent 90% of 40 weeks sitting by the toilet vomiting. I was also so bored by the time dd arrived as I couldn't do anything while pregnant and had to give up my job that I found her totally fascinating even when all she did was sleep, eat, cry and poo. I imagine after the stimulation of a job or having maternity leave to enjoy your last few days of freedom a baby does seem quite restrictive and dull.

user1493413286 Sat 28-Oct-17 14:13:29

There were moments I loved like the sleepy cuddles but in general I didn’t enjoy the newborn days and felt quite upset when told to ‘treasure it’. The sleep deprivation for me was so hard and I felt like I’d been knocked sideways from the whole effect of having a baby.
I enjoyed it much more once I was having h blocks of 4-5 hours sleep and my baby could interact.

CurlsandCurves Sat 28-Oct-17 14:24:25

Yep, it’s hard going.

I had this discussion with a family member a few years ago. She basically said I love kids, knew I wanted a family, I just can’t stand babies! She just had to knuckle down and get through it, she felt.

seven201 Sat 28-Oct-17 15:43:59

As someone who also has a dc with silent reflux you absolutely are justified in wishing the early weeks away!!

BellyBean Sun 29-Oct-17 15:40:06

Another one saying silent reflux sucks! My second DD is 10 weeks and I'm exhausted but when she's awake and not tired all she does is chill and smile. You have it hard, so feel free to wish it away until LO is feeling better!

Mamabear3017 Sun 29-Oct-17 18:56:46

I've been wishing my DS's baby days away until he's 15 since he was born sad

amys14 Mon 30-Oct-17 04:37:02

Sorry all, just getting back to reading all the replies and you honestly don’t know how much better you have all made me feel, it’s good to know I’m certainly not the only one and (dare I say) I’m actually quite normal! I did suffer with PND/PNA after birth of first son (mostly anxiety to be fair) and am far more chilled out and less emotional this time but it tends to be during the night or particularly unsettled periods with him that I feel that way, then there is the guilt that I’m not able to play as much with my gorgeous other DS who is only two, That hurts me a lot to have to say “wait a minute” to him all the time when he’s asking me to read or play and newborn is unsettled or being fed etc. Anyway THANK YOU for making me feel normal. X

Twinmumessex Mon 30-Oct-17 18:27:26

I'm so pleased I stumbled across this thread! My twins are 9 weeks old but born prem at 32 weeks so 1 week corrected age. They were in special care for a while so we've only had them home a few weeks. All those weeks desperate to have them home and now I just feel overwhelmed with anxiety about them. Being a new mum so far has been hard, boring and lonely - not at all the wonderful instagram experience I was sold! I'm finding myself wishing the weeks away and then feeling guilty about it. I just want to get to the good bits, at the very least get a smile of recognition from one of them. I know so many people would give anything to be in my position and as ivf babies, I know I should be more grateful but it's just so tough most days!!

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