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Scared of Mum?

(3 Posts)
amys14 Sat 28-Oct-17 07:36:58

I was at a toddler group yesterday with my 2yo and newborn.

All the toddlers (only about 8) decided to run round the hall, again and again. As they do! No harm was being done and they were all having great fun.

One little girl (who was maybe 3 or 4) fell and skint her arm on the carpet. She immediately walked to one of the ladies taking the group for a cuddle. The woman looked around for the girls Mum but her Mum just said “she’ll not want to come to me because I’ll give her a row for hurting herself.” The girl was breaking her heart so the Mum told her to “come here,” but the little girl refused, looking scared. The Mum then said, “if you don’t come here right now you’ll be in big trouble.” So the girl ran to her Mum but just stood in front of her crying and looking terrified once she got there and the Mum had to pull her towards her for a cuddle, but they both looked uncomfortable,

It made me so sad that the first port of call to a child who had hurt themselves (she had a carpet burn) wasn’t her mummy. And that her Mum had to (verbally) force her to go to her for a cuddle for fear of “the big trouble” she’d be in if she didn’t go?!

Just got me thinking, that’s all. My little boy is quite hardy and doesn’t really bother if he bumps himself but if he does he comes to me or his daddy for a cuddle and it’s one of those lovely moments in parenting when your little one is looking to you to make them feel safe and feel better.

Made me sad sad

badbadhusky Sat 28-Oct-17 07:44:35

Hold onto that thought OP - it will help you understand why there are so many people in relationships who are NC with one or both of their parents or don’t wish to expose their own children to their parents. There are more inadequate or emotionally cold/abusive parents out there than people from happy families appreciate and those early relationships do harm that takes a lifetime to unpick. “Sad” doesn’t even cover the half of it.

MaverickSnoopy Sat 28-Oct-17 07:50:09

That's really sad. My Dsis saw similar the other day. We were at the Dr's and she was in the waiting room while I was in with the dr and there were two little girls. Long story short the 3yo was getting lots of lovely treatment and the 4yo was completely left out. When the 4yo said "what about me?" Mum turned and looked with a filthy look and said "what about you". They were gone by the time I was out but it made me sad

I hope it's not a horrific relationship but then you hear stories like yours and think it probably is sad

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