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Tell me about brother/sister relationships

(16 Posts)
xhannahx Thu 26-Oct-17 07:21:47

Hi all,

Yesterday dh and I found out we are going to be having a little boy. We already have a DD that will be 14 months old when he comes along.

I have a sister, and dh is an only, and it has occurred to us that neither of is really know any brother/sister relationships amongst extended family or friends.

Just looking to hear some positive stories from those who grew up with a sibling of the opposite sex.

I know this may sound silly, but I would just love to hear from people that are really close to their brother/sister so I can imagine it for our DD.


redcaryellowcar Thu 26-Oct-17 07:43:47

I have a sister, so not all that helpful. But wanted to say that whatever you get, gender or age gap, you will make it work. I have two separate sets of boy/ girl cousins and they both get on well, differently, but are still in regular contact now they are adults and their children (cousins) are great friends too.

Bestbees Thu 26-Oct-17 07:52:39

I have one of each, brother 16 months younger and sister 3 years younger. We are all close. I probably see my sister more bit we live closer. We are planning a weekend away as our Christmas present jus the three of us. I dont think sex comes into it. People are people and get on or dont. I would caution thinking too much about boys and girls and focus on them as individuals raised equally and fairly.

Congrats on the pregnancy!

ellesbellesxxx Thu 26-Oct-17 07:53:14

My brother and I had a whale of a time. We squabbled don't get me wrong but I have always thought the world of him and he is a fantastic uncle to my children. Congratulations!

ChilliMum Thu 26-Oct-17 07:55:04

I am an older sister with a younger brother and mum to a dd / ds.

I have always had a good relationship with my brother and still do now (although we still squabble like 5 year olds) I probably speak to my sil more than db but i am very lucky that my db chose me a lovely sister when he got married grin however I know without a doubt that if I ever needed him he would be there.

My dd and ds adore each other, I won't lie they can fair squabble as well but there bond is a joy.

slimyslitheryslug Thu 26-Oct-17 08:10:14

There is 2.5yrs between my DD (DC1) and DS (DC2), exactly the same age gap as there is between me & my brother. Over the years, I have realised that so much depends on the personalities of the DC rather than what sex they are or what age gap you have. My two are best of friends for 90% of the time and DS drives DD up the wall for the remaining 10% of the time due to wanting to hang out with her friends, do exactly what she is doing etc but that is the same in any sibling relationship.
In our case, the age gap has been exaggerated as DD always met developmental targets early whereas DS was at the bottom end of the curve and had speech delays. DS is probably more girly that he would have been had he been firstborn or had an older brother as he was desperate to be just like DD and wear princess dresses for dressing up, have sparkly hair grips in etc & I doubt we would have had those in the house (all of those were gifts for DD).
Apparently, my brother & I were just the same when children & that accords with my memories. As adults, we're not close but I think that that is more to do with me going to a University 5hrs from home at the age of 18 and working overseas during the holidays & DBro going to a University also hours from home but in an opposite direction two years later and being away a lot in the holidays and this was all just before easy access to the internet let alone everyone having a mobile so keeping in touch wasn't as easy. Since then, we've never lived within three hours of each other and our lives have taken quite different paths.

noplease Thu 26-Oct-17 08:35:32

I have and older and younger brother and we got on really well growing up, it was great, we had the usual fights and squabbles etc but that's all just part of growing up. We're all still close now, probably more so with my older brother as we share the same interests in music etc and he gets on great with my husband but we all live quite near to each other and see each other quite a lot now.

MomToWedThorFriday Thu 26-Oct-17 08:39:36

I have 2 boys and a girl - DD is my youngest. DS1 is 6.5 years older than her and absolutely dotes on her. In return she utterly adores him and often thinks he’s her third parent as he’ll attempt to get her everything she wants if/when we say no grin
DS2 is only 2 years older and his and DDs relationship is a much more typical sibling one. They often play together, they often irritate each other but deep down they love each other very much and whilst they might push/shove occasionally (it is very rare) if anybody else tried to hurt either of them the other would lose their shit.
I love watching the relationships between all my children, but the one between DS1 and DD is truly beautiful - everyone who knows them can see how special it is.

Aebj Thu 26-Oct-17 08:41:49

I’m 3 years older than my brother. We didn’t have much in common as kids. Although I was the big sister he looked upto while he started school. !!! We get along but don’t think we would of been friends if we weren’t brother and sister.
As we got older , late teens , early 20’s we got on better and often went out at the weekend.
Don’t see much of him now as we both live in different countries but we know that we are there for each other.
I have two boys and they fight like cat and dog !!!!

TorNayDoh Thu 26-Oct-17 08:43:09

My two have roughly the same age gap as yours will and they (mostly) get on really well with each other and actively seek each other's company (currently 7 and 9). I love how they stick up for each other too. The book "Siblings Without Rivalry" was really helpful reading before the arrival of DS, I found that useful and practical in terms of helping their relationship along.

Dreams16 Thu 26-Oct-17 15:33:55

I have a brother and our relationship was as you’d expect with a girl and boy plenty of fighting as two year age gap but we were also kind to one another and my baby brother always looked out for me and me him

It’s nice now that we are older he dotes on his nephew too which is nice

MrsRonBurgundy Thu 26-Oct-17 15:38:31

I have a younger brother and age gap is exactly the same as yours will be!
We were best of friends until I got to about 13. Drifted apart a bit in teenage years, still had a laugh but didn’t do much together. We had a few almighty rows but they were rarely physical (especially after he had a growth spurt at 15 and it would’ve been a very unfair fight from that point onwards) just occasional dead arms and legs.
When we got to early 20s we got to being friends again and are now very close. We speak daily, our partners are friends and we always do fun stuff together.
He’s genuinely one of my favourite people

Gillian1980 Fri 27-Oct-17 18:32:02

My brother is 2 years older than me.

We went through many phases of being close and playing together a lot. With many phases of fighting like cat and dog!

We sometimes chose to share a room even though we could have our own. We went to the same school and would stick up for one another. We had great fun hatching plans and making camps/dens together.

As teenagers we had a lot of shared friends so hung out socially often. As adults we get on well but know how to wind each other up.

Kintan Fri 27-Oct-17 18:45:36

My brother is 18mo younger than we. We have always got on well, and we are now in our 30s and I consider him one of my all time favourite people. We do annoy each other from time to time, but what close relationship doesn't! He is a brilliant uncle, and he and my DH are good friends too smile

Crossedegg Fri 27-Oct-17 18:49:23

My brother is 2.5 years older than me. We had a brilliant childhood, argued and fought occasionally but had so much fun together.

We are now in our 30's and are very close. We live a couple of hours away from each other due to work but we text most days and spend holidays and Christmas together.

I never wanted a sister and don't feel that I've missed out. Our dc are also really close which is lovely and he gets on well with my dh, they spend time together without me too.

yeeyeelovesraaraa Fri 27-Oct-17 22:22:13

I have DS (7) and DD (almost 3). DS completely doted on DD when she was a baby, he was always cuddling her, kissing her & her face lit up whenever she saw him. Once she could walk & talk, the sibling rivalry has really kicked in & they currently have a bit of a love hate relationship. DS in particular, is really struggling with sharing - probably because he's had almost 6 years of having toys/the tv etc to himself & now DD wants in on it & he finds this really hard. They spend roughly half their time squabbling with me as referee; the other half they play beautifully, & I can see that deep down they do love each other really. DD really misses him when he's at school too.
I am the oldest & have a sister & a brother, as kids I probably got on better with my sister as we were close in age, had the same friends/interests & shared a room. My brother was 4 years younger so we didn't have much in common. Now we are adults I get on with both but find me & my brother are much more alike & he's a little easier to get on with.

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