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Fucking shity bollocking parenting is shite(8 Posts)
That's it really.
Stuck at home with two kids, DH is at football and meal. I am aiming for the worst parent of the year award. It's pissing it down.
I sometimes think I wish I had taken a completely different course in my life choices.
I need therapeutic help, my DH says everything I do is normal 'everyone' is doing it.
Nothing abusive don't worry, just the usual merry go round of asking them not/too do something, being ignored, and it eventually leading me to shouting at them. They fight all the time. My DS is being very 'independent' and 'strong spirited' <a little bugger>.
But I hate it. I want it to change. It's like we are 'stuck' in certain roles and reactions and I know that to come out of it I have to change. And I've tried, really, really tried. But it's like I go to default position every fucking time.
I also feel like I am doing it mostly by my own. My DH works long hours because he earns the most. But for example I've taken all of Half term to cover childcare. There is no discussion about this. Just assumptions that I will do this. But if I tell him I feel like this it leads to an argument.
Seriously am I the only one who is just so fucking fed up with being a parent <this does not mean I don't love my children, I do>
You are not the only one my love. It is really brave of you to come here and air your opinion and you will probably have given a lot of women heart in doing so.
It sounds as if you are an intelligent, driven woman and are feeling frustrated. It sucks that it's been automatically decided that your DH is the one who gets to be the earner.
Have you thought about continuing to work during hols and leaving the kids in childcare or holiday clubs? Even part time would give you some respite from the daily grind and the time you did spend with DC would be all the more precious. It sounds as if you need a new focus in your life and your kids won't mind being with babysitters, they will look up to you as a role model.
So if your DH is out at football and a meal then when is it your turn?! Just getting a break from the kids and being mum would probably help. DH and I take turns to go out even though I am currently off work looking after our baby. If your kids are older then you don't even have the faff of expressing/ bottles etc. Book a friend date/ night out/ even a bloody cinema ticket and just tell him you're going!
I felt like you last week thankfully dh is super and took the kids to visit his mum for the weekend! He also works crazy hours and is studying but it orettt fgood overall to jump in and help out.
I found doing some parenting classes for the age my kids are at also helped me to understand them and to understand their behaviour and manage them and my own behaviour.
You need some decent, regular time on your own and you need to move heaven and earth to make sure you get it. It makes the world of difference - everything is easier to cope with if you've had a few hours to yourself. Is there any disposable cash to just pay for a holiday club or a babysitter for half a day at least? If not, your DH is going to have to start taking your needs as seriously as his own.
I'm also covering school holidays while working FT and have young dc. We are trying to sell and dh said 'we' need to be flexible for viewings when I said I'd do one day during the week and Saturday
I'm actually thinking of taking our house off the market as I don't think I can take much more stress.
I try to ignore a lot of stuff and just focus on what's important to me (dc tidying their mess, manners etc).
Some people just make it look so easy!
It seems very unfair that you’re the default parent who takes time off, no respite for you. Who earns more isn’t the issue, next holiday could you split the time between you (and you take an extra day off to have to yourself, husband can do the same). Otherwise it’s a relentless slog (I love my children too, but sometimes it would be nice to have to look after them). I can’t complain as both of mine have Friday at nursery and I’m not working at the moment, but I was getting seriously fed up not having a break and it was worth sacrificing something to pay for the nursery day. My point being we all need a break. Is it too late to stick them in a half term club for at least a day?
See my recent post.... it's fecking awful in our house. DH and I assume similar roles, purely because he's a high earner.
It's not only you. You sound like me, every day.
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