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Not sending her to a drunk

(15 Posts)
Namechanger2735 Sun 22-Oct-17 08:12:22

DD is 14 months and visits her dad twice a week for 3 hours at a time..when he turns up on time or doesn't bring her back early.
Basically he just doesn't really have alot in interest in her and I'm pretty sure he's only seeing her because he thinks I don't want him to. Not the case.
Anyway. Last night he went out clubbing, I saw pictures of him on others social media, he has a history of getting into a ridiculous state when drinking. The nights he actually ends up at home instead of hospital or passed out somewhere he is incapable of anything for a good 24 hours.
He's not even awake yet (hasn't read my message) and due to get DD in an hour but I've text him to tell him she won't be going to him when he's still drunk/hungover and she'll see him on their next arranged visit in a few days.
100% this will be a relief to him as, as I said he doesn't particularly enjoy having her anyway..but I know he'll kick up a fuss just to make it look like he cares/twist the story and make it look like I'm a control freak and him a trying dad yawn
I don't think I'm wrong to be honest, my child's wellbeing comes first. Would you do the same?

Namechanger2735 Sun 22-Oct-17 08:20:38

Forgot to add, he needs to drive to collect her so I certainly don't want her in the car with him

MyKingdomForBrie Sun 22-Oct-17 08:22:06

If he is still drunk then absolutely I wouldn’t be letting her go off in a car with him!

Alison175 Sun 22-Oct-17 08:23:10

Don’t blame you one bit, you can’t wind the clock back if anything goes wrong xx

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Sun 22-Oct-17 08:24:25

Yes - of course, but I would take screenshots of the Facebook posts (showing time and date posted) to justify your decision if it came to needing to.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Sun 22-Oct-17 08:25:00

(Assuming it was Facebook!)

Namechanger2735 Sun 22-Oct-17 08:28:03

Annoyingly it was Snapchat so the evidence is long gone!

Namechanger2735 Sun 22-Oct-17 08:39:53

He's supposed to be here in 20 minutes, lives 20 minutes away and he's still not awake so he doesn't really have a leg to stand on

Hellywelly10 Sun 22-Oct-17 09:41:58

I dont agree with drunk driving at all.Could he takes her to a park near you for an hour or would that suggestion make him kick off???

Wellandtrulyoutnumbered Sun 22-Oct-17 09:43:50

Helly he would still need to drive to the OPs house!

OP set the boundaries. Completely not acceptable.

youarenotkiddingme Sun 22-Oct-17 09:53:13

Perfectly reasonable purely from the driving POV.

But to keep it as you being concerned about her safety and welfare (and as evidence it's that and not stopping him seeing her) if he does fight the decision offer him 3 hours in home or local park or cafe or something and make sure it's in writing (email/text). Also say you will remain present but not interfere in their quality time.

Namechanger2735 Sun 22-Oct-17 09:54:40

He was supposed to be here and an hour, still hasn't read his messages or contacted me.. in guessing he'll wake up the wrong side of mid day

BubblesPip Sun 22-Oct-17 11:06:04

Document it!

You’ve absolutely done the right thing.

Pinky333777 Sun 22-Oct-17 11:17:48

I may have let him come over but told the police about your drunk driving concern!

Namechanger2735 Sun 22-Oct-17 11:45:27

Pinky this entered my head.
None of this is fair on my DD, I hate that he's her dad.

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