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WHY does my toddler wake up screaming

(11 Posts)
Extua Sun 22-Oct-17 06:46:06

Either in the middle of the night or in the morning my toddler wakes up fucking WAILING quite regularly. He's in bed with me so there's nothing scary. I cuddle him, try and speak soothingly, sing if he wants (he often likes that) but no he just screams and screams full fucking volume. Layign quietly and saying nothing doesn't help either. Sometimes he runs out the room but often he just lays there.

I've been breastfeeding my 4 month old every bloody 60 - 90 minutes all night and had finally got him to settle after a long awake period and my toddler starts SCREAMING and will not stop no matter what I try. He's literally laying in bed cuddled up to me, eyes shut, crying at full volume. It's so loud. So of course baby wakes up and that's it 6am and my fucking day has started again. I don't mind that time start usually but I do when I know the baby will be tired so the whole morning will be crying til I get him to nap.

My toddler has woken up crying since he was quite young but it's driving me crazy now. I think because it makes me feel so so angry eventually. I feel full of actual rage. I know after 5/10/20 minutes he'll just suddenly stop and be totally bright and normal but by that time I'm at boiling point. Maybe made worse because there's no point being angry and if I show it I'll only make it worse. It's just so fucking annoying

LapinR0se Sun 22-Oct-17 06:49:58

He's probably overtired and doesn't want to be awake. How come he's in your bed?

elsiemarleysellsthebarley Sun 22-Oct-17 06:55:45

Night terrors? Apparently I did that for a long time. My DS went through a stage of screaming on waking in the middle of the night, getting frustrated with him made it much worse, quietly holding his hand was the only thing that helped. Not much fun though when it's waking your younger one, can you separate them at night? Maybe once they're both asleep if they need to to drop off?

LardLizard Sun 22-Oct-17 06:58:30

I was thinking night terrors too

I think you need to get the toddler in his/her own bed really
Good luck op you can do it

ISpeakJive Sun 22-Oct-17 07:27:41

I had this with my 3 year old DD! For 3 months she would wake up screaming in the middle of the night, sometimes twice a night. It was sheer hell to be honest.
Being woken up like that when you’re in a deep sleep really affected me and I was miserable. I used to to give her milk as it was the only thing that helped her (and me).
However, it does pass and she is now a very good 11 hour a night sleeper grin

Hang in there OP!

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Sun 22-Oct-17 07:40:11

Maybe your snoring is waking him up wink

Mine wakes up screaming like this if I've forgotten to switch the nightlight on.

Could be anything, but usually breaking a habit/routine is the way out of these sort of things, so own bed is probably a good place to start

BayLeaves Sun 22-Oct-17 07:47:40

I'd say it's definitely a night terror! Especially the way you say he suddenly snaps out of it after a certain period. They don't remember it in the morning either.

My 3 year old has had them since he was about 1 and there are definite triggers:
1) overtiredness almost guarantees it'll happen.
2) overheating slightly
3) having had a stressful day

Could you try moving bedtime a bit earlier? And make sure the hour before bedtime is as relaxed as possible so he is in a calm state of mind.

The main thing that's worked for us though is waking him up about 30 mins before they normally happen, taking him for a wee, and putting him back to bed again. Just to snap them out of that dodgy sleep cycle when they fall into a deep sleep where they can suddenly jolt out of it into a night terror.

The only thing about your post that sounds odd is that it happens at 6am - usually they happen in the first part of the night but if he's overtired he could be waking up groggy and confused at 6am.

Extua Sun 22-Oct-17 08:28:03

Thank you everyone. I posted when I was feeling very angry (coupled with guilt because it's not like it's his fault, he can't help it) and feel calm now.

It does come across as night terrors but can happen anytime from 1am onwards and often in the morning. Which is what has made me question it. It's similar though, he's unreachable until he snaps out.

I agree with getting back to his bed. He started getting in with me when I came home with the baby and I think I left it due to tiredness (and a little bit of guilt for having another child).

Also thinking about it, bedtime was a little later than normal last night and he was bouncing off the walls during bedtime. I've not really ever linked those things with the wake ups before but it would make total sense. He's probably overtired.

Thanks everyone

BayLeaves Sun 22-Oct-17 12:52:03

If you look up "confusional awakening" it's basically the same thing as a night terror but can happen any time of day, it's the reason a lot of toddlers also wake up from their afternoon naps screaming too.

Aquamarine1029 Mon 23-Oct-17 06:02:22

It's night terrors and they can be triggered by being overtired. He is completely asleep when they are happening, and they are not caused by scary dreams. Don't try to wake him as it will only make it worse, so just be quiet and be as comforting as possible. It's a phase and it will pass.

Extua Mon 23-Oct-17 07:27:03

BayLeaves that's very interesting, thank you! Looked them up and sounds right. Seems to be a form of night terror as you say. He often wakes from naps the same way and has to be held while he sobs sometimes for a good 20 - 30 minutes. Poor little guy. Reassuring to know it's a thing though.

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