DH and I have upset DD2 (16) by being parents, not pals and I feel awful.
DD1 was allowed to go on holiday with friends at 17 (to Magaluf - shudder). I was extremely uncomfortable with this but got carried along with it, if you know what I mean. DD1 is (and was) a really sensible, mature girl and we had numerous discussions about what is (and what is not) acceptable and safe behaviour.
DD1 returned home safely but later admitted to making some very poor (not to mention dangerous) decisions and it was pure luck that she was unscathed.
With hindsight, I know that she was not mature or streetwise enough to deal with the situations she found herself in and she should never have been allowed to go.
With our experience of this, DH and I have decided that DD2 will not be allowed to do this at 17. When she is 18, she can do as she pleases. By then, she will have been at uni for a year, will have experienced nightclub life, alcohol, dating, etc (none of which she has much experience of). Currently, she hardly even gets the bus herself (because of circumstance not because we don’t allow her) and is isn’t out after dark without a lift Home.
However, she has assumed that she can go because generally she gets what her sister gets, and now she has visited travel agents with her friends, started planning, etc.
We told her this morning that we are not comfortable with this and I feel dreadful. She has taken it very well but is still very upset. Her friends will probably fall out with her, she’ll feel embarrassed and will miss out.
We are not punishing her for her sister’s mistakes, more that we now have the benefit of experience and make decisions on our gut instinct, rather that letting things happen because ‘everyone else is doing it’.
Are we awful?
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Upset DD by being her parent, not her pal
32 replies
RapunzelsRealMom · 21/10/2017 14:52
OP posts:
DancesWithOtters ·
21/10/2017 15:24
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