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Postnatal body & healing

(11 Posts)
Fishfacemcgee Tue 17-Oct-17 19:15:15

Hello, hoping for some reassurance or reality checks. I’m 10 weeks after having my little girl and feeling down about my body on a number of fronts.

I’m still two stone over the weight I was before pregnancy and none of my clothes fit. I have a massive tummy, bum, and lots of cellulite and I look horrible. I don’t think I’ll ever wear swimwear again and then I feel guilty for not wanting to take my baby swimming. My natural weight loss stopped after week 2 so I think breastfeeding isn’t going to shift this.

I’m still suffering with PGP/SPD left over from pregnancy. I can’t walk properly and it’s really upsetting. That doesn’t seem to be getting any/progressively better either. And neither does the heavy/dragging feeling I have down below after my instrumental birth despite doing lots of pelvic floor exercises. I feel all wrong down there but there isn’t anything actually awry (stitches have healed etc). I can’t imagine having sex. I’ve seen a physio but they just told me to keep doing the exercises.

I know in lots of ways it’s early days but I’m just feeling so low and broken by giving birth. I feel like a different person and I can’t imagine ever looking nice or feeling normal again. I think it’s made worse by the fact that everyone told me by now I’d be feeling fine again and I’m not feeling at all better, and because all my NCT group seems to have snapped back to their figures and health so easily.

Is anyone else in the same boat? Or did anyone feel this way then recover in time? Any advice for me how to cope? Thanks for your help x

CrowOnTheBroom Tue 17-Oct-17 19:23:47

Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your baby girl!
Secondly, it really is still early days. I experienced the same as you with the dragging feeling and not being able to imagine having sex ever again, but it will get better. It did take months rather than weeks, but it will.
Plus you're not going up lose two stone in 10 weeks (not gonna lie, I was absolutely gutted my baby weight didn't just drop off like imagined) but that will take time too. You're made a whole new person and you'll be just fine, just give it time.
As an aside I also feel that all the antenatal / Nct classes do absolutely nothing to prepare you for how battered you'll feel after the birth, and they bloody well should!
flowers and hugs op, you're doing fine x

CrowOnTheBroom Tue 17-Oct-17 19:27:18

You WILL look nice and feel normal again, caring for a baby 24/7 takes it out of you but you will find "yourself" again.
Maybe start going to some playgroups when you feel ready and find some like-minded mums who don't pretend everything is perfect all the time. Having good "mum friends" helps enormously. As does mumsnet!

timeforbedsleepyhead80 Tue 17-Oct-17 19:32:12

I have been in the same boat, and come out the other side. My DD is 18 months old. I had a traumatic forceps birth, awful testing and more stitches that I could count. I'd say physically it took me probably 5-6 months in total to be fully recovered. It's only now that I'm starting to lose my 'baby weight' - it's not just baby weight now because I've been physically inactive except for running after a toddler and have been not eating that well. I've probably got 3 stone to shift.

Be kind to yourself. It is really early days. Your body has just been through a huge trauma. Do not feel guilty! Please don't push yourself before you are fully recovered. You'll know when you are, you'll feel better or get yourself checked over by your GP if you're unsure. Once you do, start with some really gentle exercise. If your pelvic floor doesn't improve with the normal exercises over time, do go and see your GP.

Dangermouse1 Tue 17-Oct-17 20:57:03

It does take a long time and it will get better - partly healing and partly just getting used to the massive changes. Do you have a nice health visitor you can chat to? You've said you're feeling low and broken by the birth which I can really relate to - it might help to ask your hv if they can arrange for you to talk over what happened at the birth with someone at the hospital. I felt at the time a lot of things were done 'to' me that I didn't really understand or consent to properly and finding out what happened and why helped me make a bit of peace with it.

Persist with the physio and go back to them or your GP if you don't see any improvement - I think a lot of the time women unfortunately get fobbed off and you have to persist sometimes to get the help you need, which isn't easy when you feel so fragile.

Blueskyrain Tue 17-Oct-17 21:49:19

I had horrific spd and 4 months on, I still have some, but it is getting better week by week.

It may well be the same with you, but it's so gradual, it feels like you're standing still. But in a month's time, you may well realise that you've walked further, or not hurt as much when getting up, or rolled over without waking in pain, and you'll see that it's a gradual path to recovery.

If it's still bad in a couple of months though, I'd suggest you speak to your GP, in case your birth/instruments actually made things worse, just so they can get you properly checked out.

Weight doesn't drop off, but at some stage, you'll likely feel motivated to try losing it, but don't rush it. Some people spring back, others take a while - and remember you don't get to see everyone else naked, so you can't see their wobbly bits either.

Fishfacemcgee Wed 18-Oct-17 09:15:28

Thanks everyone. I knew there would be some wise words on here. I know I need to be patient and also I’ll follow up on your suggestions eg about talking through the birth and seeing gp again if things don’t improve. It’s always good to know you’re not on your own. I’m renewing my efforts with the pelvic floor so fingers crossed...

timeforbedsleepyhead80 Wed 18-Oct-17 09:28:49

I would keep an eye on the 'feeling broken' thing too. I felt like that for a long time, and mentally it was harder to get over than the physical healing. Another poster said about feeling like you'd had things 'done to you' and I bet that too, it's very easy to carry the feeling of being out of control after a traumatic birth.

You may find (I did) a birth debrief helps with these feelings. Anyone can have one, speak to your HV if you think it might be helpful for you.

Keep going, it will get easier flowers

Lules Wed 18-Oct-17 09:34:30

My first ever post on MN said something very similar. But my body did heal. I did lose the weight. I looked like me again definitely by 9 months.

I've just had another baby and occasionally I get down by it all but I know it will get better. And even if I'm never exactly the same I've grown a person and that's pretty amazing.

Fishfacemcgee Thu 19-Oct-17 13:04:24

Thank you xx

Dreams16 Thu 19-Oct-17 15:08:13

I am the same 2 stone over weight myself I had forceps delivery after being induced it took me about 2 months after birth to feel myself again I haven’t been able to get back into physical exercise as I had once hoped my DC is now 6 months old and I’m now considering dieting eating better as I will also admit I’m eating the wrong things it’s quick junk food during the day 😞

But as everyone else has mentioned it takes time and for those of us that aren’t millionaires or have the luxury that these celebs have to have personal chefs personal trainers and a child minder it takes time for your body to get back to what it was like before pregnancy I am only now feeling like I’m ready to try and do something about my weight I’m considering swimming as I’ve not been back to the gym in ages and don’t yet feel ready for that but heard swimming is good so will be giving that a try

All the best OP and congrats on your DC enjoy every minute as it goes so quickly smile

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