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Please tell me having a newborn gets easier soon

(51 Posts)
Electromagnetic Sun 08-Oct-17 20:38:26

He's 8 weeks and I love him but it's all just soul crushingly boring. I have lots of support, a fantastic DH, a relatively good baby who wakes only once or twice a night. But I am just fed up. Feed, change, nappy, coax to sleep, keep asleep, repeat. I wanted him so much, went through the hell of IVF, but now I'm here I'm hating it most of the time. It's so dull. I miss my sleep, freedom, I miss work!! He just needs me constantly, and I want to do the best for him, but it's all so tedious! I am clearly not a natural! Please tell me when it got better for you? When do babies get more interesting?

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sun 08-Oct-17 20:45:23

flowers I found that things got gradually easier, but 6 months was a turning point. By then they're actual people rather than just foul tempered little milk bags. I know it seems an age away, but you'll get there.

RefuseTheLies Sun 08-Oct-17 20:52:26

Hello op! My DD (also an ivf baby) is turning two soon and I still don't really enjoy being a parent. It's dull as fuck grin

At least now we can have conversations. Sort of. 'Mummy! Car! Mummy! Bus! Mummy! Cow! Mummy! Banana!' Etc. Etc.

It got incrementally easier with each milestone though. First smile, first proper laughter, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking, talking.

The lack of sleep is still utter shiteballs though.

Blossomdeary Sun 08-Oct-17 20:53:22

Dull! A brand new human being! Gosh- I thought my newborns were all sorts of things, but certainly not dull! I used to just gaze at them, marveling in their wonderful newness and perfection. I am sorry that it is boring for you and hope very much that things will improve for you.

You could just enjoy the fact that he is still and remains in one place!

RemainOptimistic Sun 08-Oct-17 20:57:16

It's very repetitive and totally exhausting. But it's such a short time in the grand scheme of things. The newborn stage is a love hate relationship!

Tips. Go out once a day even just to the park for a walk. Go along to playgroups to meet other mums. Try the mush app - like Internet dating for mums!


JesusInTheCabbageVan Sun 08-Oct-17 20:58:13

Blossom Well that's smashing for you, but not helpful for the op, or anyone else (and trust me, there are lots) who struggled with the baby phase.

TheLegendOfBeans Sun 08-Oct-17 20:59:30

Two turning points for me:

8 weeks
6 months

The first she started to stabilise and actual pattern to her sleeping

The latter she was able to really engage, laugh smile etc.

HopeAndJoy16 Sun 08-Oct-17 21:02:21

It does get easier! I found the newborn stage just so intense... And yes really really dull at times. My LG is now 5.months and it is so much better already, she is interactive and so chatty in a babbly baby way. Also I have found a reliable way to make her nap during the day which helps. So hang on in there! And nake the most of being able to sit and watch boxsets, mine doesn't sit still (or sleep) for long enough now.

Also it doesn't matter how longed for your baby was there are some periods which are just shit, it doesnt make you a bad person for feeling like that.

OrangeJulius Sun 08-Oct-17 21:04:36

Mine is 20 months old and I'm still bored out of my mind.

Muddlingalongalone Sun 08-Oct-17 21:08:42

8-9 weeks was a massive turning point for me with dd1 - hang in there. Once they start responding to you and the world and then developing their own personality it isn't quite so dull!!
About 4.5 months was my next turning point because I had the confidence to get out and about.
Everyone said 6 weeks was when things improved so i thought i was do something wrong coz i was utterly miserable, and constantly clock watching - Christ knows what for since she never bloody slept!!!! (Finally aged 3)
It does depend on the child though dd2 was amazing to 6 months and then challenging sleepwise for the next 2 years.

DaenerysismyQueen Sun 08-Oct-17 21:13:06

Oh goodness it does get better, I found each month easier and easier. I really started to enjoy it from 6 months. Not all the time mind and even now that he's 18 months it can still drive me up the wall!

EatsFartsAndLeaves Sun 08-Oct-17 21:13:28

Oh yeah it's boring as fuck when they're tiny. Enjoy adult TV while they're too young to need their ears protecting from swearing etc, and see friends while it doesn't matter what time they go to bed. They do get much more interesting soon, but every age has it's challenges!

TheABC Sun 08-Oct-17 21:13:52

Top tip: get them in a stretchy sling on your front. They get cuddles, you get your life back and you get to sniff their heads lots.

Honestly, get as much sleep as you can and enjoy the fact they are immobile and want to be on you. It does not get easier, but it does get more interesting.

I have had a dictatorial 4 year old and a 16 month old mess monster permanently under my feet today. If I could go back 4 years, that's what I would tell myself.

minipie Sun 08-Oct-17 21:17:24

I came on to express lots of sympathy but tbh since you have a fairly easy baby you don't really get much! At this age babies are tedious. They just are, it's not their fault, they just can't do anything yet.

But if you have an easy baby and are getting a reasonable amount of sleep, you can get your entertainment in other ways. Go meet a friend for coffee, go to a gallery, go to the cinema, watch a load of box sets ... all the things I couldn't do because my baby was not only tedious but also a difficult feeder and non sleeper and screamer...

As for when babies get more interesting... 6 months, a bit, then a lot more interesting at 10 months, then at 14 months they are actually starting to be fab little people.

silkybear Sun 08-Oct-17 21:18:30

I found the newborn bit boring yet relentless, they just give nothing back really! From 12 weeks things improved, at 6 months I started to enjoy having her and she got more interactive, and every month since we have a bit more time to do our own thing as she sleeps more and she gets more rewarding with walking/talking ect. When they can hug you and say mum its heart meltingly lovely and makes the shit bits worth it. The very early newborn bit is the hardest I think, especially as the expectation is that it is magical.

BellyBean Sun 08-Oct-17 21:19:33

I'm with you! Even posted on Facebook how boring newborns are when DD2 was about 3 weeks (8 weeks now and at least i feel like I have 'company', with her smiling in response to my inane chatter and silly faces), luckily got a flurry of lunch invites from people who were free in the week.

This stage imo is about discovering what is in during the week and making the most of a relatively portable baby.

I've been lunching, national trust, long walks in the woods (wrap sling amazing), eyeing up baby cinema sessions.

It won't be long before you're worrying about nap schedules impacting bedtime and dc is too heavy to comfortably sling.

SnowiestMountain Sun 08-Oct-17 21:23:18

If you’re not going out, go out!! Yes it is dull, but much less dull if you’re out of the house/speaking to other people/doing things otherwise it becomes very, very repetitive!

user1493413286 Sun 08-Oct-17 21:29:26

I found when she started smiling, responding to my voice and “chattering” back to me quite a turning point but I still try and make sure I see other adults every day before OH gets back as it’s tough being Just with baby all day

RedBlu Sun 08-Oct-17 21:31:47

Our DD is now nearly 20 weeks and I am finding it much easier than the early days which quite honestly were awful - despite the fact she was and still is, a very easy baby!

I remember the first few weeks I kept thinking - what have we done!! The constant feeding, lack of sleep the having no clue what you are doing!

I think from about eight weeks, things started getting better, she started sleeping through the night so we were getting proper sleep. She started smiling and laughing and becoming a proper little person!

Pixie2015 Sun 08-Oct-17 21:31:52

8-9 Month is a great age sitting watching them play x

AnaKristina Sun 08-Oct-17 21:37:48

I'm reading a lot. Try why love matters. This time is boring but still important for the baby and it's emotional development. You must not show you are bored.

pastabest Sun 08-Oct-17 21:44:07

I have an 8 month old and reading your post I now remember the horror of feeling exactly how you do when she was that age.

She is a delight now, crawling around, wrecking things but definitely much more interesting.

I found out today i'm accidentally pregnant again and the thought of going back to the newborn days again prompted by your post is now filling me with dread grin funny how quickly you forget unless someone reminds you though!

Ohyesiam Sun 08-Oct-17 21:44:27

blossom that was somewhat self absorbed, and no help to the op.

Yes, it's all really repetitive, and dull. The loss of freedom is really crushing. 3 months was a turning point, they sort of arrive properly.
Try to connect with other adults ( even radio 4 is a life saver). Get out every day, it helps if you like walking.
Best of luck

MyOtherNameIsAFordFiesta Sun 08-Oct-17 21:47:14

I think different people enjoy different stages. I love the newborn stage but find the 9-18 months stage quite hard (when they're learning to walk/climb and into everything). My sister was the opposite - hated the newborn stage but loved it from 6 months or so.

I found 12 weeks to be something of a turning point, in that some semblance of a routine was starting to appear, and they were just awake more and could respond to things. Then 6 months or so is also a time of big changes, when you can really start to see a little person emerge.

Try to get to know some mums in your area who don't take the whole thing too seriously, and are prepared to have a laugh about it or listen to you moan. Try to avoid people who say "It's all wonderful!" - it's not; some parts are fairly shitty and boring, and there's no point feeling like you have to gloss it over.

Smurfy23 Sun 08-Oct-17 21:55:03

Definitely get out and about. Are there any classes or groups nearby that you can go to? I miss the social aspect of work and just talking to people (who can respond to me!) So I try to get out somewhere every day which seems to make it easier for both me and dd.

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