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Mum always putting my parenting down?(6 Posts)
I have 1 DS who is 9 months old. Obviously my Mum loves him but she hasn't spent huge amounts of time with him, which is fine. When I go round to her house, she is always putting me and DH down. She says we spend too much time on our phones and ignoring him (fine if thats her opinion but she says it often and in a snide manner), we put him to bed too late, she doesn't like when I try to do BLW and let him feed himself, she thinks it should be all jars and purees. She even said 'are you maternal like I was? Would you die for him?' I mean what a question?! He's my son, of course I would! She was a caring mum but hardly the best as I don't think I would be nearly 30 and in therapy if she was (another story), if she comes to me and sees DS in his rocker or jumparoo she will say 'how longs he been in that.. all day?' implying I've just dumped him and not paid him any attention. He had a tummy bug so we gave him just milk for the day and she commented for days how I'm starving him etc. DH says I don't bite back enough. I don't know what to do.
My mum is a bit like this. I brush it off and see her as little as possible. You need a phrase to say when she criticises you that you just say every time. for you
Both my mother in law and my mum can be like this. I reckon they think they are better parents than us because they are 'older & wiser'.
When my DD was a few weeks old, she was fast asleep in her Moses basket. My Mil come in and turned her over to her stomach, which woke her! She claimed it's the right way for her to sleep. I know the reccomend sleep position was probably diferent when she had her babies, but I calmly explained back sleeping is now reccomened and my baby was comfortable and she woke her!
My mother isn't much better always thinking she knows best...
My mil told me I shouldn't of bought a bouncer as they are bad.. it's not long DD was in it for long periods of time...
My mum tried telling me how to give my children calpol last week, step by step guide. I was baffled as I have two children - oldest is six so I would be worried if I didn't know how to give calpol by now! 😂
Hopefully soon she will realise you know best.
Also, keep up with the baby led weaning.
My DS was weaned with purees etc and he is the fussiet eater ever.
I did BLW with my DD and she will eat anything!!
My MIL is very like this. I had a favorite sleepsuit for my little one when she was tiny and she commented that I should dress her in something in photos so "people didn't think we weren't changing her". I have thos magical thing...it's called a washing machine!
My mum just silently scrutinises me since I told her to literally shut up one day when she was staring at my daughter and implying she was ill (she wasn't) and that I should get her checked out (she'd just had a check up).
There's loads more examples I could name.
Ive learned to take it on the chin and just rant crazilly at my DH when the mum or mil leaves. 😉 It's clearly a gran thing.
Oh and my mum decided to try and feed my 2 mo fruit saying she was clearly hungry (yes...for milk!)
Ugh, I can imagine how annoying this is. My stepmother is the same - always making snide remarks about how she wouldn't do things the way we're doing it. I like to snipe back that things have changed since she was parenting; it's petty but makes me feel better in the moment. I have no advice but just wanted to say I feel your pain! For what it's worth, I'm sure you're a fantastic mother.
Ive just come from a weeks stay at my mums...NEVER AGAIN.
She has spent no time with dd since she was born, she's now 3mo. My mum literally criticised everything I did for a week. Wouldn't except that as I'm the one who gave birth to dd and looks after her all day everyday I know her better than anyone else.
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