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6yr old DD says nothing in her life is good and she wants to be dead

8 replies

Natsku · 04/10/2017 07:02

She said it this morning while we were having breakfast, were looking at a book on creepy-crawlies which mentioned spiders that can kill people and that's when she said she wishes she was dead, I asked why and she said because nothing in her life is good.

There are things going on which are probably getting her down - she's in a different school from most of her friends (but does have one really good friend in her class, but she says that he wants to die too??) and has been having a little trouble with teasing from a couple of the boys in her class, I've been encouraging her to talk to the teacher about it which she says she does but it doesn't seem to be improving yet. And there's the issue of her dad who she hasn't seen in over a year and he hasn't been keeping regular contact by phone with her but she didn't mention him (possibly she's too upset about not seeing him to talk about him?). I'm pregnant so possibly anxiety about new sibling but she talks excitedly about the baby and loves to feel kicks etc. Not sure if there are any other relevant factors, everything else in her life seems ok to me.

These things aside she seems happy usually so I'm quite startled by this and not sure what to make of it.
She's had behavioural problems/anger issues in the past, much improved over the last year, but her 'case' is still open with the child psychologist so I'm thinking I should call her? What else can I do to make her feel better?

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Tilapia · 04/10/2017 07:15

I don’t want to minimise your DD’s feelings, as it is really important for you to talk to her and help her and take her seriously.

However, to try and reassure you, I have three DC age 8 to 11 and I do find they are rather prone to dramatic statements like this and it doesn’t mean they are depressed in the same way an adult may be. I think it’s because they don’t have a good understanding of concepts like death, so they use these words much more easily than an adult would.

Still worth giving her psychologist a call though.

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Natsku · 04/10/2017 07:17

I was thinking that maybe she's just being a bit melodramatic but worried about saying that in case people think I don't care or not taking her seriously.

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Tilapia · 04/10/2017 07:21

Yes exactly! Don’t ignore it (in case it is a sign of something serious) but don’t worry too much either. My DC have gone through phases of saying things like this.

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Natsku · 04/10/2017 07:23

Ok that's relieving!

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AGapInTheMarket · 04/10/2017 07:28

Absolutely worth a call to the psychologist if you have that avenue available to you. I remember depressed feelings taking hold as young as that and my mum not only shrugging it off when I tried to talk to her but really minimising my (actually quite bad) situations by comparing them to her own childhood.
I don't mean to imply anything by it, but I really got a lot out of psychologist Oliver James' book, How to Not F* Them Up which talks a lot about parenting styles and the effect of your own childhood on your parenting choices.

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Natsku · 04/10/2017 08:11

Will definitely try not to minimise her feelings. Trying to call the psychologist but her phone is off, probably missed the calling time so will try again tomorrow.

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greentea4me · 04/10/2017 08:14

To be honest your being pregnant was the first thought I had for an explanation. It's hard on kids to have a sibling sometimes. She might be scared of not getting all your attention anymore. All you can do is reassure her and make sure she is involved with the new baby.

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Natsku · 14/10/2017 09:37

Finally got hold of the psychologist (different one though, the previous one had left so I had been calling the wrong number until they updated their website), she's away next week but a couple of family support workers are going to visit on Monday to chat with DD and me.

I talked to her teacher about the teasing but DD seemed to be really uncomfortable talking about that with me and her teacher, just said she didn't remember when her teacher asked who was teasing her or what happened and she was in a really bad mood afterwards for a long time - I think I upset her by talking about it? Every little thing the rest of the day set off tears and anger so quite worried about talking to her any more about this as it just seems to upset her even more.

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