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Breast is best, don't you know?

(19 Posts)
TryingNotToScream Tue 03-Oct-17 11:48:43

We tried breastfeeding. It didn't work for us, for various reasons.
What I didn't expect was the backlash I got for bottle feeding my dd.
When did it become acceptable for EVERYONE to comment on how I feed my child? Did you spend 43hours squeezing her out your nether regions?
No? Then you have no fucking say! angry
Regardless of how you are feeding your child, surely if they are fit and healthy, putting on the weight then that is enough?!

NerrSnerr Tue 03-Oct-17 11:52:19

Who is everyone? My advice would be to find more nonjudgmental people to mix with. I'm on my second child and our NCT group and the baby toddler groups all have an equal mix of bottle and breastfeeders. No one cares. My second baby is 6 months and I am definitely in the minority of people still feeding.

I have found my parents/ inlaws had a few opinions on how I fed (they wanted me to bottle feed) but I just repeated 'this is what works for us as a family' and they eventually shut up.

NerrSnerr Tue 03-Oct-17 11:53:20

- sorry- everyone is still feeding their 6 month olds- i meant breastfeeding!

Lemonnaise Tue 03-Oct-17 13:22:33

Regardless of how you are feeding your child, surely if they are fit and healthy, putting on the weight then that is enough?!

Spot on. I live in Ireland and I don't even remember being asked by any midwife or HCP what way I intended to feed my DD. It just doens't seem to be an issue here the way it is over in the UK. Anyway, just tell them to back offangry.

OvertheSargassoSea Tue 03-Oct-17 13:27:08

I've never heard anyone judge anyone for ff. I think sometimes it can be your guilt maybe projecting anxiety? A lot off ff mums always go on at me why they never bf. I don't care if your child is ff. But i don't need a long winded diatribe everytine someone sees me bf my DS.

user1471134011 Tue 03-Oct-17 13:32:51

Lemonade youre not hanging around the same people as me! One publicly congratulates herself on her breastfeeding 'silver boobies award'
(And I say that as a two-time breastfeeder)

Whippetmamma Tue 03-Oct-17 13:43:27

No matter whether you breast or bottle feed or do both you always get someone making comments. Nevermind their opinion and you don't have to justify how you feed your baby.

Dreams16 Tue 03-Oct-17 17:48:23

Op ignore them I bottle feed I don’t judge anyone who breastfeeds or bottle feeds I agree it’s got to come down to what is best for you and DC Unfortunately having children opens up to all kinds of people saying crap from how you feed your child to how many times you wash them where they sleep what routine they are in blah blah blah I think it’s human nature sadly to always want to dictate to others what they should or shouldn’t do it’s best to ignore and just do what you feel is best and right for your own family grin

RedBlu Tue 03-Oct-17 18:10:49

I tried breastfeeding, it didn’t work out. I have bottle fed DD since she was two weeks old. At first I felt a bit crap about it, then realised fed is best and that is all that matters.

I did get some negative comments but I just ignore them

Chosenbyyou Tue 03-Oct-17 18:46:23

I bottle fed both of mine from the start. Made a choice to do it - it is up to you you know!

Not one single person has ever said anything negative to me. Both of my children are perfectly fine - there are lots of factors which are involved in the health and happiness of an individual.

We should all stop judging each other - there are plenty bigger issues to worry about.

LumpySpaceCow Tue 03-Oct-17 18:55:53

Exactly what OvertheSargassoSea said. I have been to a lot of baby/toddler groups and have never seen/encountered judgement. I don't think other people actually care how you feed your child.
My first I BF for 5 months. When I started to FF I found myself projecting my guilt onto other BF mums as I felt so guilty - I found myself regurgitating all the reasons why I stopped BF - not realising that a lot of the people I was pontificating to, probably had similar stories but chose to continue to BF (I had similar tales recounted to me when people saw me BF my 2nd and 3rd).

OvertheSargassoSea Tue 03-Oct-17 19:47:22

Exactly i got annoyed with having to apologising for bf. We should all just be kind. Ive never commented on people feeding babies never crossed my mind x

Lazybobcat Wed 04-Oct-17 22:12:02

I find that no matter what you do as a parent someone will judge you for it.
Breast or bottle both sides are criticised and it's stupid. Is your baby fed? Gaining weight and getting all the nutrients they need? if yes then the people judging can go fuck themselves.
I do sometimes want to say how I feed/parent my child is not a judgement on how you feed/parent yours. No two parents are the same and no two babies are the same.

Out2pasture Wed 04-Oct-17 22:16:34

fed is best. no matter what the method.

WowAnActualBaby Wed 04-Oct-17 22:29:28

I BF for 6 months and was constantly told by my FF friends "You've done it for long enough, FF is so much easier and you'll get your life back quicker, my kids were FF and are fine, don't feel guilty about stopping BF" etc etc along those lines
THEN between 6-12months I did a combination of the two and the SAME PEOPLE went on "Oh, you're not exclusively BF anymore? But you were doing so well! Why the need to introduce formula?" Etc etc
So basically, whatever you do you won't win with some people! Just do what's best for you and your little one and be confident in your decision :-)

rainbowduck Wed 04-Oct-17 22:40:37

Seriously, what OvertheSargassoSea** said.

You will hear many different opinions/schools of thought over the next (forever) from other mums. Everyone is very passionate about how their way is the best (but the key point is.. it's the best *for them*).

The way to deal with it? Block out the background noise, take whatever nuggets of advice appeal to you, and do what works for you and your family.

That's what's best.

FartnissEverbeans Thu 05-Oct-17 04:56:21

I wish I lived in the sort of tolerant utopia some posters on here seem to occupy!

I was asked many, many times how I was feeding my baby and why I wasn't breastfeeding by everyone from wait staff to immigration officers! I live in the Middle East and there's been quite a big push for bf in this country I think - judging by how pissy the nurses at hospital were when I asked for formula. They wouldn't bring it straight away, I think hoping that baby would cry and I would get my boob out, but DS had jaundice so he was really sleepy and he was never much of a crier anyway. I also had a very serious talking to from a doctor who spoke to me like I was a baby myself.

In fact I think formula feeding is technically illegal here.

Peachesandcream15 Thu 05-Oct-17 09:17:20

You can't win no matter what you do. I got a lot of 'are you STILL breastfeeding? When are you going to give her a bottle?'

cornishgirl17 Fri 06-Oct-17 19:42:52

Let it go above your head. I bottled fed my two from a young age. I used to let the comments get to me but now I don't let it go to me. The most important thing is that baby is being fed isn't it??

Many ladies cannot breast feed for whatever reason and their babies are perfectly healthy - mine included.

When my DD was a couple weeks old. My partners teenage sister met our baby for the first time, she's young and meant no harm and asked if was breast feeding. I told her I wasn't, and she started questioning me asking if breast is best. I didn't get offended until my partners step dad butted in and told my partners sister how breast is actually best, and I should be breast feeding blah blah. I was gobsmacked especially because he wasn't directly talking to me.

I ignored it, didn't want a scene. I was appalled especially considering how none of his three children want a relationship with him? He must be the perfect parent 👍

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