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'Sleep when the baby sleeps'. Annoying things people say.

(123 Posts)
TheWeatherGirl1 Mon 02-Oct-17 13:43:35

It's an annoying thing to be told.

If the baby ever deigns to nap then I'm cleaning or doing laundry or emptying the litter tray or sterilising bottles or trying to make food (toast) for myself.

I also don't want to be told to 'just let the housework go'.
I do not wish to live in a slum or have to deal with a mountain of crap in the future.

Thank you for listening.

GinUnicorn Mon 02-Oct-17 14:01:09

Oh thank God someone else thinks this! I want a clean flat and have stuff to do! Plus I live in central London by building work - no chance of any peace!

How old is your baby?

MrsA2015 Mon 02-Oct-17 14:05:20

"They'll grow out of it"

Yes but for now I'm suffering with current difficult phase.

Waytroze Mon 02-Oct-17 14:07:01

"What you need is a bedtime routine"

Like I hadn't already thought of that.

QueenJane Mon 02-Oct-17 14:12:26

Yes, yes and yes.

My messy, disorganised home really gets me down. I'm sick of the stock answer "Aw enjoy him while he's little, housework can wait!" No, it fucking can't. Unless you're volunteering? Didn't think so envy

Put DS in the baby carrier today while I tried to tidy up. Spent most of my time wrestling things out of his hands that he'd grabbed and trying not to doink him on the head with anything. He also weighs the best part of 20lbs. No I can't just 'pop him in a sling'.

"Awww that's nonsense, he's a wee angel I'm sure. Look at that wee face! You're a good boy really!" Define 'good'? hmm

Thanks OP. I need this thread.

TheSleeperandTheSpindle Mon 02-Oct-17 14:18:07

Oh god the whole “housework can wait” line. Yes because we don’t need clean plates or cutlery! I also enjoy drinking tea from....you know, clean cups hmm

Also “it’s a phase”
Well yes but that doesn’t help me now does it when I’ve been awake since 3am and have to go to work!

And “is he good?” I like to answer that he hasn’t robbed any banks yet so.....grin

FindingNemoandDory Mon 02-Oct-17 14:19:40

This is a pregnancy one but "I/my mother/grandmother did X Y Z and my child/I/mother came out just fine" in response to my preference for following advice and not eating liver/drinking coffee etc

It usually transpires that given example also drank and or smoked during pregnancy yet funnily enough nobody recommends that!

GinUnicorn Mon 02-Oct-17 14:21:43

Oh I also hate "you're making a rod for your own back" with cuddling her to sleep! She's not even two weeks old!

headintheproverbial Mon 02-Oct-17 14:29:48

I was like you with my first child. Now that I am on child number two I realised that 'sleep when they sleep' is genuinely the best advice ever. You can't look after anyone if you don't look after yourself.

HTH.

pastabest Mon 02-Oct-17 14:30:27

or the flipside to the housework can wait

'what do you actually do all day?'

FUCK OFF.

prettywhiteguitar Mon 02-Oct-17 14:36:25

Can someone walk them round the block while you had a nap ?

1. Who exactly?
2. How the hell am I going to drop off when I'm this tired and stressed ?

Don't believe people when they say the baby years fly by, they freaking dont when your child won't sleep for a year 😫

TealStar Mon 02-Oct-17 14:41:24

'If you're relaxed then baby's relaxed' hmm

I had a go at a woman once who was smugly gloating on how 'good' her gc was because her dd was 'so chilled out'. I was struggling with monster dd who screamed with colic all day for 12 weeks, and felt ready to stab anyone else who inferred it was because I was 'stressed' that my dd was like that. Just... FUCK OFF. You have her for a day you twat. See how relaxed you'd be then.

Still makes me angry 13 years later grin

WhatWouldGenghisDo Mon 02-Oct-17 14:46:07

headintheproverbial when I got to baby #2 I just didn't sleep ever

'Just pop him in the sling' arrrrgh! Have you tried lifting a 20 month old in and out of the bath, drying him, dressing him and reading him a story with an infuriated thrashing colicky newborn tied to your front? No? Would you like a go?

Also: "they're little for such a short time: cherish it" usually said by well-rested parent of older child fondly watching their self-sufficient offspring tidily eating their lunch and going off to play, as you mop the vomit wasted milk off your shoulder and try not to weep with exhaustion while jiggling your overtired nap refusing nocturnal vampire baby on your shoulder for 90 minutes in the vain hope they might sleep for a few seconds

And breathe. Ahem.

user1499786242 Mon 02-Oct-17 14:52:06

'Is he good, does he sleep through?'
As if that's the definition of a good baby

--Well he's now 2 and still wakes up all night so I guess he still isn't good

--
I make sure I never say to new mums 'enjoy every minute'
I normally say something along the lines of 'don't feel guilty if you have a shit day'

SurfingKitten Mon 02-Oct-17 14:53:33

I hate the "sleep when the baby sleeps" especially since when you also have a toddler, the toddler does not sleep at the same time!

minipie Mon 02-Oct-17 14:58:21

"Oh I couldn't deal with that, I really need my sleep"

Luckily I am a robot and have no need of sleep. Or maybe I'm just dealing with it as I have no choice.

Lules Mon 02-Oct-17 15:05:38

I was ranting about this the other day. Because I like to eat and not starve my toddler and for all of us to wear vaguely clean clothes. Oh the toddler doesn't nap any more so should I just leave him to rampage around the house unsupervised?

TheWeatherGirl1 Mon 02-Oct-17 15:11:16

I have found my people.

AlexsMum89 Mon 02-Oct-17 15:18:57

This is my new favourite thread.
'Is he good?' was also a favourite with my DS (now 7). I started off feeling really confused, I mean you can't judge a newborn on their behaviour surely?!
I'm pregnant with my 2nd and today I'm feeling a bit insane about people asking 'are you going to have any more children then?'. When did that become a socially acceptable question, because it shouldn't be.
I've not announced my pregnancy yet, but due to it being my 2nd I've had a bump from about 6 weeks and I'm fully expecting the 'are you sure it's not twins?' jokes which I think will make my eyeballs bleed.

MrsMyreton Mon 02-Oct-17 15:38:00

I love this thread. The 'sleep when baby sleeps' is the biggest lie I've heard.

MIL telling me to 'forget the housework', with a patronising look at DD to imply I should be spending more time carrying her around the house and never ever letting her cry, grumble or so much as squeak. Then she comes to stay for a few weeks to help and spends all day ironing tiny romper suits and my leggings (who the f*ck irons leggings???).

Sorry, that felt really good.

QueenJane Mon 02-Oct-17 15:45:08

"Remember to look after yourself too, take some time out for you"

Erm....ok. Shall I put the baby outside for a bit or what?

stardust18 Mon 02-Oct-17 15:59:27

Thank you for this it's just what I needed, it's nice to know where all in the same boat. My baby is 6 month old she's hasn't had a nap since 11 no matter what I've tried I'm sat waiting for hell to break lose

Mabel83 Mon 02-Oct-17 16:06:23

My husband said to me the other day that while he's on paternity leave we should make the most of it and clear out the loft 😂

Littlejayx Mon 02-Oct-17 16:07:13

Yes to that!!!

My step mother comes round once a week and says 'my god you look tired. Are you not sleeping when she sleeps?' Well no when she sleeps I go and have a long held in wee and brush my hair

Sweetbell Mon 02-Oct-17 16:18:15

I fondly remember my HV telling me she "Well I breastfed twins while on crutches with SPD" when I told her I was struggling with no sleep infection in emcs wound on antibs, 2 other kids, husband working nighshifts and was deciding to stop breastfeeding as I was dead on my feet and had SPD too.
It wasn't a competition I was suffering trying to do it all with an actual non sleeper (only slept while being wheeled in pram)

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