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My husband drew on my baby!

(325 Posts)
FEJ2016 Mon 02-Oct-17 03:52:37

I need some perspective from someone who isn’t me- I’ve just gone to change my 5 week old daughter and my husband has drawn in black sharpie marker pen on her stomach (he has drawn a big sun around her belly button). I am incredibly upset with him. I can’t believe he would draw on our child honestly I’m dumbfounded. It looks hideous. And how am I now supposed to take her to clinic to get weighed? It looks terrible. When I have challenged him (woke him up- it’s 3am and I was changing her before her feed) he just said ‘why is there a pen there’ and ‘I was just a bit drunk don’t overreact’.
I didn’t know he was drunk or I wouldn’t have let him anywhere near our child for a start, but seriously, am I overreacting? I think it’s the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever seen I actually feel sick.

RosyPony Mon 02-Oct-17 03:57:22

😂I'd have gone for the classic eyebrows and a 'tash personally!
I think it's funny, sorry.

SeashellHoarder Mon 02-Oct-17 03:58:39

I would be fucking furious. She's got no way of defending herself, so you have to.

This is completely unacceptable.

Fwiw I would go to the clinic tomorrow and discuss it there, they'll be a good first point of call if you need help.

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 02-Oct-17 03:59:16

The drawing, maybe funny. The being drunk around the baby and you not knowing and him hiding it is weird. And not good.

FEJ2016 Mon 02-Oct-17 04:02:59

Thanks MrsTerryPratchett I don’t think I explained myself very well in the sense that we were at a family do together and I just didn’t know how much he’d had and he seemed sober. Not that he was trying to hide it I agree that would be a major problem!

AnnieAnoniMouse Mon 02-Oct-17 04:03:15

I'm a bit lost at where to start really. He drew on his newborn baby with marker pen? Those chemicals on newborn skin?! Then he thought saying he was drunk would excuse his behaviour instead of the reality of taking it to a whole other level...Jesus wept. This could only have been more grim if he'd drawn adult features on her.

How long have you been with him? How often is he a drunk twat?

I wouldn't be taking her to get weighed until it had gone either (unless there are any concerns about her growth).

treaclesoda Mon 02-Oct-17 04:05:31

The most irresponsible thing you've ever seen? That seems like an overreaction.

Having said that, I'd be pissed off too, that stuff doesn't wash off, it's not like he did it with an eyeliner pencil or something.

AnnieAnoniMouse Mon 02-Oct-17 04:24:42

I do have to add though, if it's the most irresponsible thing you've seen, you might need to get out more. Go and stand outside Ikea in Croyden. Sadly you'll see - and hear - far, far, worse.

FEJ2016 Mon 02-Oct-17 04:30:29

Ok yes ‘most irresponsible’ is certainly an exaggeration- I’m not some crazy shut-in or anything! I used it as more a turn of phrase apologies. I’m just genuinely upset by it. My husband doesn’t seem to think he’s done anything wrong and my beautiful baby has black marker pen all over her. It was such a shock at 3am I can’t get back to sleep. That in itself is frustrating!

CryptoFascist Mon 02-Oct-17 04:32:15

I hope it doesn’t affect her cord stump.
I’d be flabbergasted by this, don’t think I’d see my DH in the same light again, it’s just surreal.

Boggie11 Mon 02-Oct-17 04:39:19

V weird and immature thing to do.

I would be really cross about this!

He sounds like a right catch op! No offence, but anyone who thinks it's acceptable to draw on a newborn! hmm

I'm just imagining rubbing it'll take on her delicate skin to get rid of it angry

Fluffybrain Mon 02-Oct-17 04:42:54

I'd be angry that he got pissed when baby is just 5 weeks old. I'd be angry that he drew on my baby with some nasty chemicals. I'd be angry that he didn't apologise and said don't overreact. Is he usually this much of a twat?

Fluffybrain Mon 02-Oct-17 04:45:42

I wouldn't try to rub it off though. Try some baby lotion but if that won't do it then leave it to fade. Rubbing will do more harm than good.

CommanderDaisy Mon 02-Oct-17 04:46:46

Silly, but not world ending. You are probably lucky he didn't draw either a mustache/glasses or something more louche.

I also agree that you need to get out more if this is the most irresponsible thing you've ever seen.

If you must make an issue out of it, focus on the drunkenness and doing stuff to the baby, not the fact he drew on it.

PetalMettle Mon 02-Oct-17 04:50:00

“If you must make an issue of it”
“You’re lucky he didn’t draw glasses.”
Wtf? This isn’t someone drawing on a drunk frat boy, or a picture on a wall, it’s a tiny baby.
I agree, don’t take her to get weighed until it’s gone

Fluffybrain Mon 02-Oct-17 04:50:21

I'd make an issue out if it! Id probably leave a man who drew on my baby with a permanent marker and didn't give a shit about it.

hayli Mon 02-Oct-17 05:06:35

Really ? To those people saying you need to go out to see more irresponsible things?? Hhaa.
So are you telling me itd be ok for someone to get every one of those shitty chemicals inside a sharpie and decided to put it on ur 5 week old?
Nah dont think so.
Id be fucking furious too.

upthewolves Mon 02-Oct-17 05:06:41

I think at 5 weeks post partum you are allowed to overreact to things. Having said that, I don't think you are overreacting over this, I would be really upset too. It's bizarre behaviour. Aside from the chemicals in the marker pen, it just shows a lack of respect for your DD as a person, like he sees her as a toy. I think this needs a proper, calm conversation where you can explain why it upset you.

WanderingTrolley1 Mon 02-Oct-17 05:12:52

What a tool. I'd be mad, too. He needs to not be around baby whilst drunk!

liquidrevolution Mon 02-Oct-17 05:13:44

Cant believe the posters who think it nothing to get worked up about. Its a 5 week old baby FFS.

OP I would be seriously annoyed.

LilyMcClellan Mon 02-Oct-17 05:15:20

A bit of an odd thing for your husband to do, but I really don't think this is a hill to die on. She'll have a comedy belly button for a couple of days, and then it will wash off. Take a photo for her 21st and move on.

Aquamarine1029 Mon 02-Oct-17 05:34:01

I would be LIVID. The chemicals in a Sharpie marker are absolutely horrid. Who the FUCK would draw on a 5 week old baby?! Your husband is a fucking idiot. This doesn't bode well regarding his judgement in caring for a child. I would have a very hard time trusting him after this. Anyone who says it isn't a big deal must have their bar set very low.

troodiedoo Mon 02-Oct-17 05:40:01

LTB. He obviously has twat tendencies.

furryelephant Mon 02-Oct-17 05:42:13

I'd be absolutely fuming too! A bit of coconut oil helps to remove it gently if you're going to try getting it off your poor DD sad

I think I'd be writing twat or worse across his forehead while he slept to be honest angry

troodiedoo Mon 02-Oct-17 05:44:18

Excellent idea @furry

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