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Parenting

Struggling to Cope

4 replies

FS86 · 19/09/2017 16:23

Hi all,
I am a mum to a beautiful, healthy 8 month old, work full time and am now finding it really hard to cope, I feel like I could burst into tears at any time.
I work from home 2/3 days a week, at the office the rest of the days - whilst I am very happy to see my baby as much as I can, it is very tiresome to work and look after him, and I just feel like I fail epically at everything (and don't even get me started on house stuff).
I never really felt anxious before, but now it is like a constant. I think DS is going through a sleep regression too, which doesn't help, but whilst I try to remain strong and upbeat on the outside, I feel like a huge fraud and a mess on the inside. I keep telling myself it is a phase that will go by but it is hard to listen to my own words; I have spoken to my partner and family and whilst they all say the "right things", I don't feel like they actually understand me at all, which leaves me feeling pretty lonely and misunderstood.
Have any of you gone through similar things and would you have any advice? I know this parenting thing isn't easy but feel so crappy about not being happy 100% of the time and worry that if I don't get it together, my son or my relationship will suffer.

Thank you all, it is great to have a platform where to be totally open and honest and, hopefully, understood xx

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Aquamarine1029 · 19/09/2017 16:43

You are being WAY too hard on yourself, and your expectations are completely unreachable. Who is happy 100% of the time?? NO ONE. Not a single person on this earth is happy 100% of the time. You have a very young child and you work. Of course it's going to be chaotic and overwhelming. Instead of fighting it, just go with it. Cry when you need to, take naps whenever you can. Who cares about the house? As long as it's livable and reasonably clean, the house will continue to stand. Take each day at a time. I promise it will get easier. It never be "easy", but life is never easy.

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2014newme · 19/09/2017 16:45

Who looks after baby who you are work from home?

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Aquamarine1029 · 19/09/2017 16:45

Also, sit down with your partner and work out a way you can help each other. Let him know how much you need help. If you haven't told him, how can he know? He's not a kind reader. Don't be too proud to ask for any help you can get. We all need help sometimes.

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FS86 · 19/09/2017 20:53

Thank you,

I have spoken to my partner and broken down in front of him a few times, he is very understanding but when it comes to it (getting ready in the morning etc) he seems to forget about it all, I feel like he has a very good routine of his own (work means work, home means home) and I can't achieve that.. but you are right, no one is always happy and I should learn how to let go of the pressure, but find it easier said than done

My partner does stay at home once a week to look after LO, other days baby stays with my partners mum - we are very lucky to have people around who can look after him

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