My inlaws think my DD is naughty and MSIL getting involved

user1486084727 · 2017-07-29 09:51:37

Not sure if this is the right place to post but im hoping for some advice. Cut the long story short, i have a 3 year old daughter who is very vivacious and likes to push all the boundaries i wouldn't describe her as naughty just sometimes she reacts badly to certain situations where she is not.allowed.to.do something she wants to do. Me and hubby know.our dd very well and we notice that when you take your time to.explain to her why she is not allowed.to do XY&Z then she understands and doesnt kick up a fuss. For a while now my inlaws.have hinted at the fact that they think she is.naughty. on certain occasions they will try and discipline her and stop her doing things for no reason which then frustrates dd and then she lashes out. There have been some messagea between my hubby and his sis which i will post below. Please comment on them as i feel that they all talking about my dd in a bad way. They use words such as naughty, rude, not obey....right now I'm ready to cut them out of my life but I'm i doing the right thing? Here goes (sorry its quite long): Sister: Might have to be next week for dinner. Are you upset with mum. She is worried she offended you. I'm not sure what she said exactly... but I know she would' have meant to be mean. She can't get her words out correctly and as well as being ill all week and baby sitting for jenny 3 times, she is stressed about their kitchen being done and it was enough to make her cry this morning. Husband!: Ok about dinner, we can talk next week. I am a little upset. I know mum doesnt always mean what she says but its happened a couple of times now. I know Rose is a handful sometimes and is not as tame as some children but we are a family and i never expected mum to make comments and make me feel like Rose is an issue. Like the other week when we were round mums and you were there, she had an issue with Rose going upstairs to pick a book (for no apparent reason) rose was getting upset because she couldn't understand why mum was saying no and then i saw mum come in to the living room where you were sitting and started whispering about it. And yesterday she said something about rose again which is why I'm upset. Shes my daughter, you must understand where I'm coming from. Imagine if someone made you feel like that about miles. Anyway its just a small upset and I'm fine with mum. I'm sorry shes stressed about other stuff but this is seperate. I'm stressed too, look at what situ I'm in x Sister!: I can totally see that those situations with Rose would upset you. I think in this instance what she really meant was "having two more children round at Jenny's will not really help the situation." However she might also have meant 'if Rose has not learnt to obey me when I say no then I can't have her here in someone else's house when I'm already stressed about looking after the twins'(she did not say this by the way) In the situation at mum's about going upstairs it's a tricky one if you thought mum was wrong but ultimately it's mum's house and if she says no then you have to back her up. Adults have to back each other. Mum will back you up(most of the time) if you say no to Rose and that's good because then you aren't undermined. I think mum prob told me because you were unhappy with her. She was upset a different time also because Rose had been naughty and when mum said she couldn't have something because of that behaviour you told mum off. I think you said to leave any disciplining to you. Re if someone said something about miles it would get my back up BUT if he has been naughty or rude then I would back up the person tellling him off (within reason). Sorry you are stressed I can imagine it is crappy at the moment. You have got a new job though? So good luck. Husband!: Thanks for the above but it aint helped much. Feel a bit worse to honest. I'll speak to mum later no need for you to get involved mum is a big girl she should ring me herself Sister: Mum certainly didn't ask me to get involved. I wouldn't usually but I was trying to save her stress as I'm worried about her generally. Sorry if I have made you feel worse- not my intention.

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