Feel like such a failure

[TwoDogs9]

As title really. I have a gorgeous six month old baby who I absolutely adore. This is the fifth week of him not sleeping well through the night - we're talking waking every 2-3 hrs and he's been difficult to settle in the first place for the last two nights. He also only has very short naps during the day unless I am in the room with him. He is EBF and feeds A LOT. My H is pretty useless. I have just managed to have a shower for the first time in four days because I took DS to my Mum's!! I feel like such a failure, every other mother seems to cope brilliantly and find time to concoct awesome baby friendly food and write blogs and I can't even manage a fucking shower. Pre baby I was very independent and active. I had various hobbies and now I have nothing. I feel so useless and depressed, then feel guilty for feeling this way because I have a beautiful baby and should be happy. Argghhh 😩😩 Just wanted to rant really. Thanks for reading

[umizoomi]

Are you weaning him?

[TwoDogs9]

Yes, we're doing baby-led weaning and it's going really well. He still likes his milk though! 😄

[Pipsypops29]

Hi. Please please don't feel like a failure!
You're doing an amazing job of virtually rearing your baby single handedly- you're giving them the most important thing they need- your love and attention. Reading between the lines your OH is similar?
my OH loves our LO to bits but is pretty useless at the hands on parenting lark, ( comes from a very traditional family 😣) so the majority of the feeding, bathing, nappy changes and dressing are pretty much my responsibility- but I'd better stop there otherwise that's a whole new thread!

My LO is eleven months old, BF and has 3 meals a day, mostly BLW yet she wakes me 2-3 times in a night. If I need a shower she comes in with me- as she's become very clingy over the last couple of months, and also won't nap for long unless it's on me! I love bubble baths yet have only had two this year .... i don't smell btw!
So you're not the only one baffled by these Supermums who find the time to blog, cook from scratch, keep immaculate homes, and look groomed to within an inch of their lives, with the perfect eyebrows- you know the ones.

What time do you give your LO his last meal? If I give mine a pot of yoghurt or rice pudding- not homemade!- towards bedtime she does seem to sleep for longer. Maybe he's getting hungrier? As breast milk gets digested a lot quicker than formula, as you prob well know, he might just need more food?

You're doing a great job, this will pass- I keep telling myself the lack of independence and freedom won't be forever. I also remind myself they're only babies who need us for a very short time in the grand timescale of things, that although I get frustrated at not getting jobs done, being able to leave the house on a whim etc I also know in the future I'll miss these days of feeling her weight on me, hearing her snuffles and her breath on my neck, currently writing this with her asleep on me

Sorry for rambling on. Your thread reasonated strongly with me- you're not alone!

[justinelibertine]

Was going to second taking baby in shower with you as soon as he can sit unsupported . Did with mine. Sit in the shower tray and sing some songs whilst you have a sneaky wash. It's not as nice as a lovely long hot pre baby shower but it does the job.
He might hate it at first but keep trying. You aren't alone OP.

[TwoDogs9]

Thanks for your answers. Glad I'm not alone in the struggle to keep clean 😂 It makes me feel a lot better!

Pipsy, you're right, it is a short time and I love DS to the moon and back, I guess I just find it hard because I was previously so active and always out doing stuff and never relying on other people. DH has finally agreed to us getting a cleaner which is a bit of a eureka moment because the state of the house gets me down too!

As to the feeding, he eats quite a bit and goes to bed not long after dinner. He was regularly sleeping 8:30pm to 4:30am but it just went out the window and never came back. He is a big baby though and growing fast so yes he probably does get hungry at night. I can cope with that, just get frustrated at not getting things done during the day. He's actually a very happy, contented baby so I'm very lucky in that respect.

[Pipsypops29]

A cleaner!???? Soooo jealous 😆.
My ironing pile gives me vertigo looking at it!

Like you I love my DD but It is the loss of the independence, the freedom to get up and go I still struggle with at times- not sure that will ever go to be honest. Hey ho,, just have to learn how to juggle all this like others do I guess. It's my first and last baby so still a learning curve 😏

And if your son seems happy generally like you say, maybe it's just separation anxiety kicking in.
Hope things improve soon for you, and me 😆
Sleep deprivation is torture!

[TwoDogs9]

Thanks Pipsy. Yes lack of sleep is torture and it certainly does funny things to a gal! I end up napping with bubba during the day when possible and then feel bad because I should be doing things! I need to chill out and stop feeling so guilty all the time. As for ironing - I gave that up years ago 😂😂

[Chosenbyyou]

Please don't feel like it's you! My first was really hard...I struggled to shower! My second is a dream...will sit there in bouncer and watch me shower, then watches me blow dry my hair etc. Can't believe how so very different they are! Hang in there you are doing a fab job xx