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9 week old incessant crying

(32 Posts)
Nurse15 Mon 03-Jul-17 20:42:08

My 9 nearly 10 week old has cried from she was 3 weeks old. Most days she cries for at least 4-5 hours. Today she's been crying from 4pm until now and most of the morning. We've been to the gp multiple times and had a hospital admission where everyone keeps saying it's reflux - she's on omeprazole for this which takes away all her reflux symptoms. She naps for 2/3 40 minute sessions in the day which allows me to eat and sometimes shower but literally nothing else. When we leave the house she screams the whole time so we just don't. She is ebf and was born 3 weeks early. I have no idea what to do with her, it's destroying my relationship with my husband as we're constantly at each other's throats. I haven't slept for more than 4 hours a night ) 2 x 1.5 hour and 1 x 1 hour session) per night. When visitors come it's a nightmare as she screams the whole time and no one gets anywhere near her. We persevered as everyone told us she'd get better by 6 weeks. Someone please say this will get better soon, we went through infertility and finally fell pregnant with her and now I feel like it was a horrible mistake. There's obviously something making her miserable but no one can suggest what anymore. We've spent hundred on every colic remedy there is going to no avail!

Lou573 Mon 03-Jul-17 20:44:59

I had one of these babies - just spent my days pacing the house with her being yelled at. I think it's just one of those things to grit your teeth and get through - it does get better! A sling helped, as did lots of long walks with the pram.

Lou573 Mon 03-Jul-17 20:46:01

Also - the reflux was a cows milk thing, improved immeasurably when I cut dairy out of my diet (breastfed baby).

Sittinginthesun Mon 03-Jul-17 20:55:06

I also had one of these. I don't think anyone really knows just how horrific it is unless you've been through it.

I don't quite know how we got through it, but DH and I did not cope well, and we argued a huge amount as well.

I tried switching to formula, tried all if the colic relief remedies, spoke to the HV, the doctor. Nothing helped.

At 13 weeks, it just stopped. He woke up one morning and smiled, and went to bed that night without a squeak.

It will pass, there will be a point when it stops. Just try and take it in turns to have a break, white noise seems to help (washing machine on spin cycle worked), lots of walks with the pram. And for goodness same don't compare to other babies. flowers

AppleBlossomTimeNow Mon 03-Jul-17 21:01:09

Both my daughters were like this - it is horrendous and makes you doubt your ability as a mum. It's also hard to bond with a baby you can't soothe & who yells at you the whole time. For my two it was reflux triggered by cows milk protein allergy - both were breast fed but the protein gets into yr breastmilk. DD1 I eliminated dairy for a whole year from my diet, DD2 I made it to 12 weeks and put her on Neocate (a prescription only formula). Bloody nightmare, you have my sympathy, talk to your GP and get as much help as you possibly can so you can escape the yelling for a bit and sleeeeep.

hellomarshmallow Mon 03-Jul-17 21:04:11

Have you tried a sling? It worked for one of mine who just wanted to be held constantly.
This may offer some help? I'm so sorry things are so tough right now.

Lottie991 Mon 03-Jul-17 21:06:31

I had a baby like this, I think some babies find it really hard to cope with adjusting to the world, He would just cry and cry, My midwife said that she had seen babies like it and that where they have been in such a confined space for such a long time being born into a world where there is so much space can be a huge adjustment and overwhelming.
It makes you feel hopeless but it does stop eventually. You will get through this, Don't let it make you a hermit it will only make u feel worse ,
Get a sling and get out for some fresh air, And try do alternate lay ins with your partner at the weekends sleep will make you feel better, You will get through this.

Smarshian Mon 03-Jul-17 21:07:40

It's horribly hard but it does get better! I'd say for you and your husband - be kind to each other, give each other naps/rest when you can. You will both feel better for it and actually enjoy the time you have together a bit more. 6-9 weeks was the worst for me and then it started to get better. She is now 6 months and smiles from morning till night x

Scrowy Mon 03-Jul-17 21:08:49

Have you tried a stretchy sling? Being close to you and the warmth may help with longer periods of sleep which may make the baby less cranky during the day.

Also I'm now pretty sure that a lot of my DD's incessant crying in the early days was down to a hunger feeling. She was EBF and although I'm certain she was getting everything she needed nutritionally from it I suspect it wasn't giving her a full feeling. If breastfeeding is established have you thought about trying a FF top up to see if it helps?

Nurse15 Mon 03-Jul-17 21:09:32

Thanks for the replies everyone - it's good to see I'm not alone! I've eliminated dairy also - on week 3 now with no improvement whatsoever. In fact she has probably cried more this week than ever and she point blank refuses to sleep. I'm currently sitting here with her in her cot wriggling furiously and crying and I just don't know what to do with her. She's been fed, she won't feed anymore I've tried numerous times. She's been burped and her nappy is clean. No idea what she wants anymore

yourhandfitswithmine Mon 03-Jul-17 21:10:44

Keep going, you can do this. It'll get better I promise! You're doing great!

IdinaSackville Mon 03-Jul-17 21:17:11

My DD was like this, you have my sympathies it's truly awful. There is a reason sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture! Like previous posters we tried every colic remedy going, soya formula, every tip & trick but nothing helped bar 'growing out of it' around 16 weeks & I also believe letting her sleep on her tummy. I know advice is that they should sleep on their backs but once she was on her front - so much better. I don't like sleeping on my back so it made sense. It will get better x

melissasummerfield Mon 03-Jul-17 21:18:15

I really sympathise with you - my youngest was like this and my husband and me also spent most of it arguing because we were so tired and miserable! Like pp have said one day it will just stop, so just keep going! My son was bottlefed and we switched to a dairy free formula, im not sure if it helped that much tbh, he just had horrendous colic/reflux and we just had to ride it out. One thing we did do was see a cranial osteopath ( i dont normally go in for the alternative stuff but was desperate ) and i do think it helped him to a degree.. i hope it passes soon for you x

throughgrittedteeth Mon 03-Jul-17 21:29:09

My health visitor advised giving DS (also 9 weeks) tummy time everyday to help strengthen his muscles which would help with the colic. We managed a bit but to be honest we just waited it out and he's pretty much grown out of it.
I think it does have a lot to do with their insides being all squashed up. I guess as they grow it'll all expand, it is shit though flowers

Sittinginthesun Mon 03-Jul-17 21:42:57

In hindsight, I'm not even sure it was a physical thing with DS1. He's such a bright, sensitive and competitive soul, I think he just hated being a baby. He's a fab teenager, mind you. No trouble at all!

Lou573 Mon 03-Jul-17 22:40:19

I had to cut out soy as well as dairy to make a difference - apparently they're very similar proteins. I knew the soy had an effect as I accidentally had it in a dressing during this time and she reacted badly.

AppleBlossomTimeNow Mon 03-Jul-17 22:49:40

Just hold her - sometimes going outside for a breath of fresh air would help. Don't feel like you have to follow a routine, with such a sensitive baby this is more or less impossible till they get older. Breathe deeply and think 'this too shall pass', because it will. You are doing a great job under v tough circumstances xx

AppleBlossomTimeNow Mon 03-Jul-17 22:51:50

Ooh yeah, good point. Try eliminating soya milk & products too xx

Civilsoot Mon 03-Jul-17 22:54:05

You have my sympathies, the noise of a wailing baby is horrendous. I remember my stomach dropping like a stone as soon as I could hear my now 3 year old waking up, he would start off almost making a hissing noise before it would escalate very quickly into that gluterral yell.

I promise you that it does end. It will get better!

- Leave the house. Honestly, go outside it's not half as bad outside with a crying baby as it is cooped up in the house. Even if people stare (which they will) tut, give you the stink eye or even worse come over to give you 'advice'. Ignore them, go get some fresh air and cry together on a park bench if needs be!

Tootsiepops Mon 03-Jul-17 22:59:43

I had a screamer too! I'd quite cheerfully have killed myself until she got to 12 weeks when a) the colic vanished and b) we got the right combination of milk and meds for her reflux.

White noise helped my screamer get some naps and some sleep which stopped me from throwing myself under a bus

Laurab53 Tue 04-Jul-17 09:12:55

Hi everyone, I am struggling too - have a 5 week old who started out settled but is getting very unsettled now in afternoon which pretty much carries on until around 1am. She is ebf and there was a tinge of green in two of her nappies yesterday. She fed about every hour yesterday afternoon for no longer than 10 minutes at a time. We are both exhausted. She wouldn't settle at all. The notion of having feed times seems so beyond us right now.

OH and I are now bickering and I feel so isolated with it all. DD is putting on weight as she should and mostly doing nappies we would expect (except a green tinge to a few yesterday evening). Feeling now like i am dreading the day ahead and I dread nighttime too as it takes so long to get dd settled. I just don't know where I am going wrong. OH says I should be doing more to prolong the feeds but I can't tell the differ between DD having enough and just falling asleep. Then wondering if DD just wants to suckle. I just don't know what the right thing to do is and have lost all faith in any instinct. Feel like I am not doing things right at all.

hellomarshmallow Tue 04-Jul-17 10:14:51

Hi laura. 5weeks is too early for set feed times; she may be going through a growth spurt. Green tinge can be fine. It may be that she's having a lot of foremilk. You can try breast compressions to get more of the creamy hind milk into the feed.

My babies fed little and often too. They fed hourly during growth spurts. Don't worry if she just wants to suckle; she's increasing your milk supply. Have you tried wearing a cloth sling? It can help to quickly settle a baby and give you some hands-free time!

Everyone feels this way with a baby; it's all trial and error. Once you've tackled one thing, there's a new challenge. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong, it's all pretty normal (and knackering). I hope you get a few naps today to recover, it's a really hard time.

Useful resources:
La leche Helpline: 0345 120 2918

Amazing book: the womanly art of breastfeeding. Really really worth reading.

Laurab53 Tue 04-Jul-17 11:08:54

Thanks, I have just bought a babybjorn carrier so will give that a go. These last few days have really bashed my confidence and I am so tired and worried that DD is not getting enough that I am debating switching to formula but I really don't want to. I had expressed some milk yesterday for OH to try a nighttime feed but could only get 2ozs. Despite being on and off the breast all evening, DD gulped the bottle down in about 5 minutes. She has been putting on weight entirely in line with growth chart percentile until now so not sure if she has not been getting enough until now or just finds the bottle easier (which I am worried will mean she is less likely to want to feed)

Sorry long post, just needed to get it off my chest.

hellomarshmallow Tue 04-Jul-17 15:09:59

You'll be producing a lot more when you breastfeed rather than express, so don't take the 2oz as a sign that that's what she's getting in a feed. You could express from the other side while you feed if you want to use a bottle too in the evenings; I recommend the haakaa. It's the easiest (no pumping required, suction) and it's cheap!

It does sound like a growth spurt. Make sure you're eating and drinking well (don't diet) and just feed on demand. Definitely try the breast compressions as they helped me.

Cloth wraps are really good with little babies. If she doesn't like the babybjorn, try to borrow a cloth one from a sling library (ask HV) for a while.

Try calling the la leche number (helpline): they can give fantastic advice and reassurance.

LapinR0se Tue 04-Jul-17 15:12:52

I will go against all the other posters and say I think there is something wrong.
She is on medication for reflux so hopefully pain is not the issue. That then makes me think she is hungry.
If this was my baby I would absolutely offer a bottle of formula to make sure hunger wasn't the issue.

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