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Am i crazy wanting 2 under 2

(24 Posts)
user1488794856 Sat 24-Jun-17 19:30:33

DD is nearly 5 months old and dh and I have decided we would like a second. We have absolutely no help what so ever with DD, we do 100% everything ourselves, and completely realise that this will also be the case when we have 2.
For us the pros and have 2 under 2 out weigh the cons, even though the next few years are going to be pretty crazy.

Anyone out there survived it without external help with some words of encouragement?!

DoubleCarrick Sat 24-Jun-17 19:32:52

I don't think your crazy! I'm currently nearly 9 weeks pregnant with a nearly six month old. It only takes the once!

Elllicam Sat 24-Jun-17 19:35:01

We had 18 months between our first two and it was honestly not that bad. It helped that our first was easy, good sleeper, well behaved but our second was (and is) a terrible sleeper and a bit of a monkey and it was still ok. They play together really well and I get a lot done while they are playing. We even went on to have a third when DS2 turned 2 smile

mintbiscuit Sat 24-Jun-17 19:35:21

Survived it. Although ds2 and dd are 20 months between so wasn't too bad. They are 3.5 and 2 now and best of friends.

Hard work in early days but dh is super hands on with all the kids. No way I would have survived it in the early days without him. Now they are both on similar schedule so it's not too bad at all!

TheWeeBabySeamus1 Sat 24-Jun-17 19:42:11

There's 20 months between me and my sister. DM says it was hard at first (2 in nappies) but having a good routine in place made it easier.

I loved having a sister that close in age, we were best friends, especially when we got into our teens.

RandomMess Sat 24-Jun-17 19:44:14

I had a 14 months gap between my middle two and love it as an age gap compared to 5.5 years between the eldest 2 and 24 months between the youngest two!

LeaderoftheAteam Sat 24-Jun-17 19:45:56

All good planning but if you are bf'ing then it might not happen, we planned a very small gap with DD2 and a potential sibling. Well we are bf'ing and still no af at 14months... hmm so no close gap for us. Good luck!

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Sat 24-Jun-17 19:47:56

14 month gap between some of mine. Loved it!!
Thought dd of 10+11 isn't that lovely atm!!
And the hormones are only gonna get worse!!
But the boys are easier closer!!

StinkPickle Sat 24-Jun-17 19:50:07

Not crazy at all. 20 months between my first 2 and it's been brilliant. Similar interests, entertaining them is easy as they're at the same stage really aged 3 and 4. Also have a 1 year old so it can't have been that bad.

Hard first year but pays off

tandt5 Sat 24-Jun-17 19:50:34

I have 22 months difference between my children. It was hard at first especially with no help and dh working away. I absolutely think it was the right decision for our family. The kids are very close and are great friends. What really helped was getting the routine right i.e. nap times at the same time. Also i started a nursery for the older child (twice a week) before the younger sibling was born to ensure I get one-on-one time with her too. First months were a complete blur but definitely worth it.

crankyhousewife Sat 24-Jun-17 19:52:29

I've got a 13 month age gap and although it wasn't planned I wouldn't change it for anything. I won't pretend it was a doddle but wasn't as hard as you imagine.

MrsWifey Sat 24-Jun-17 19:57:25

There's 19m between 1 and 2 and 2y 4m between no.2 and 3. For us the small gap has worked and now youngest is 2 I feel like I've got my family and I'm getting a bit of social life back too.

justdontevenfuckingstart Sat 24-Jun-17 19:58:15

I have 14 months between my girls (could have been 12 but wasn't to be) it was hard at times but the pros outweighed the cons. Mine are 20 and 19 now and always have been very close. Was my choice and I never regretted it.

user1488794856 Sat 24-Jun-17 19:58:53

Wow thank you so much everyone! This has mad me feel soooo much better!

Fingers crossed all goes to plan and number 2 can be on his or her way soon!

There's only 13 months between my sister and I which is why I'd love them so close. Plus now that I am in "baby land" I think I'd like to stay here for the next rather than get some degree of freedom back and then have to adapt to a newborn again.

As dh puts it...if you are going to eat shit then don't nibble it!

Ellieboolou27 Sat 24-Jun-17 20:02:14

As a mum of a almost 5yo and a 20 month old I'd say I'd rather have had a smaller gap, hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Good luck op.

Longdistance Sat 24-Jun-17 20:06:08

There's 21 months between my two dd's. One is in yr1 and the other yr2, as the oldest is a a September born the other is June.

When they were babies they were hard work, but now they're older, it's way easier.

Best decision ever, as they're best friends, which is amazing smile

Go for it!

naturalbaby Sat 24-Jun-17 20:14:38

I had 2 under 2 and not sure how I would have coped without help - ds2 was not a good sleeper at all and I nearly went mad with exhaustion! He's still not a good sleeper 8 years later. The only thing that got me through the day was an afternoon nap so ds1 would be snoring away and ds2 would be bouncing in his cot and I would be on the verge of tears.
We did spend some of that first year living away from family and close friends and I really struggled emotionally. It wasn't just having someone to look after the kids, it was having someone to talk to and Dh was also really struggling at work so I couldn't count on him.

nooka Sat 24-Jun-17 20:18:49

My two are 16mths apart. dd was a surprise and to be honest the first two years even with help were pretty hellish. Been great ever since, and we are just about to only have one at home (and then next year neither of them as they will both be at university).

Some of that was because dd was a difficult baby and then ds a difficult toddler, and some was because neither dh or I are good with babies and we were both working with a commute from when dd was three months (although we had a nanny which was the biggest luxury). I would advise parents with small gaps to get as much help as possible at least for the first year.

user1488794856 Sun 25-Jun-17 09:08:12

Thank you so much for all of your comments. Most seem really positive which drives me forward to just crack on.

In regards to help, when I was pregnant with DD people used to look at me in horrow when I would tell them we had no family close by and that "I would really struggle". Whilst dh and I have tough days, and help would of course be nice, we just get on with it, and I believe it will be the same when we have 2. You can't miss something you have never had, so although I appreciate those that recommend we only do it if we have lots of helps, if we had followed that advice we would never have had dd and she is the light of our lives smile

Bring on the chaos!

inniu Sun 25-Jun-17 09:16:36

I planned 2 under 2 but my second pregnancy was twins so had 3 under 2.

Daytona79 Sun 25-Jun-17 09:32:53

I did this there now 9 months and 2.5 years old we get zero help and to be honest it was and is absolutely fine

Toddler was very jealous to start with but he loves his wee brother now. Hardest thing for me was being pregnant with a toddler but it is manageable

I don't get much sleep but I didn't anyway as toddler is a poor sleeper

I say go for it, it isn't bad at all.

Daytona79 Sun 25-Jun-17 09:34:33

Should of added I mostly managed alone at the start as husband works away a month at a time , it really isn't that bad. Just be organised.

OhDearToby Sun 25-Jun-17 09:38:13

My Dd3 is one week old and dd2 is 17 months so at this precise moment in time I'd say you're crazy!

Good job they're cute.

golfmonkey Sun 25-Jun-17 18:50:21

16 month age gap between my girls, now 2 1/2 and 14 months. Dd2 was the worst sleeper in the world and the first 6 months was honestly just awful, and I had loads of help although had to do all the night stuff myself. Since youngest was 9 months I haven't hated it, and since she turned 1 it's been really good. They get on really well and dd2 is just starting to get a bit better with sleeping. Definitely more than twice as hard as just 1, but hoping by the time dd2 is 2 or 3, things will be awesome! Small age gap was kind of planned, both children definitely wanted.

I think for parents it might not be as good/easy, I think both mine get neglected slightly in different ways. Dd2 doesn't get read to half as much as dd1 , dd1 gets shouted at a lot because her crying sets off dd2 and then things just get crazy.

I'd say go for it though! Took around 3 years to have dd1, dd2 was a surprise, I'm sure some people can plan things, but it's not always possible. I was breastfeeding (just 1-2x per day) when I got pregnant...

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