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New baby- Selfish snappy boyfriend

(6 Posts)
User446688 Tue 20-Jun-17 23:30:20

I need to just let it all out somewhere and this seems the place ......

So lately my partner has been so snappy with me and I haven't once nagged at him for anything and I get all the backlash. One moment he's so lovely the next he speaks to me like a bit of shit on his shoe I feel so alone.

Our baby (2nd) is 4 weeks old.... this afternoon he asked me to go over to his mams to meet him there so I picked the 1st up from school got to his mams which was lovely he came in just sat in the garden with a paper....

Anyway we went home and he fed him a bottle I made us tea emptied the bins done the dishes (normal that I do everything) put the 1st to bed came back downstairs and just sat talking to the baby as he was awake while he sat on his phone and watching a fitness program... this was also absolutely fine with me.

Then I wanted to do the dishes from tea and the baby was a bit stirred up so he held him then said would you get him as I need to sit down and do my work, I was like yeah no problem. Held him while he went upstairs and went on his phone again and then went in the shower came back down and I asked him to make him a bottle (that's all and we have a prep machine takes 2 mins).

His response "no" I need to sit and do my work.....I said well where have you been sitting on your phone, I've done all the housework and I'm asking you to make a bottle......

He said who are you my mother I'll do what I want to do.....he sat down and carried on with his work so I put the baby down and made a bottle....then he pipes up at his laptop.....telling me it was the way I told him to do it and the way I went about it....I said it was a bottle....

Then I fed him the bottle and he vomited and he pipes up again "he doesn't do that when I feed him your distracted by your phone that's why he was sick be a big girl and admit it" I just said well you feed him 1 bottle out of 10 (more likely 1 bottle out of 40) so it's more likely he will do that with me so I just took the baby upstairs fed him bottle and put him down to sleep.....he just shuts the doors downstairs and lies on the settee like can someone tell me I'm not going crazy? Or am I selfish? I just feel like I've been through tough times I've taken him back a few times too after splitting because of the way he talks to me then apologises or says I need to grow some balls and deal with it. That it's my fault that he reacts that way..... please advice is needed I'm going insane

namechangedtosaveface Wed 21-Jun-17 12:25:20


Why did you have a second child with him?

snoopypoodle Wed 21-Jun-17 13:43:29


PragmaticWench Wed 21-Jun-17 13:49:16

He's behaving like a selfish toddler at a time when he should be stepping up as a father and equal parent. Even worse, he's being rude and mean to you verbally.

It's not acceptable even if he's struggling with having a new baby in the house. Personally I'd be asking him to leave for a while until he's screwed his head back on properly but a start would be to have a proper discussion with him about it all.

mimiholls Wed 21-Jun-17 20:20:23

Why are you with him? You say you've split a few times because of it and have always taken him back- so he knows he can get away with behaving however he wants and he's not going to change.

User446688 Wed 21-Jun-17 21:22:18

The second his first he has taken on the role of daddy of my first because his dad didn't want to be in his life. I think because of that it's been more of a "we need to try and work through differences as life isn't easy".

I still just had no energy to talk to him he slept on the sofa and came upstairs and just said "I don't know why I reacted that way I think it's because I knew I had that work to be done and I was just agitated" he said "I know your going to start thinking your doing anything and I need to help you out more and I will" I thought fair game we will see what he brings to the table. I just don't know where I see it going. Before I had the baby he was a different person proposed to me and everything and now he's just laid back and thought I have my family I don't need to make that extra effort. Well I'm sorry but you do! I totally agree with one of the replies saying he needs to step up and be equal! 🙌🏼! I will keep you all updated thank you so much

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