Parenting courses for clinginess(11 Posts)
I'm a stay at home mum and have an 18 month old daughter. I have been in a clingy phase for over 2 months now and I feel it is getting worse and worse. We go to regular groups, a music class which is small and structured, a free play playgroup with different activities and a soft play. She is the same in all situations and shows fear towards other children who approach or who are just nearby. Both my DH and I are confident people and I always chat to other mums at groups. She can also be like it at home and round the shops in a trolley. Sometimes she simply has to be "attached" all day. I am exhausted - and finding myself getting very frustrated which goes against how I want to parent. I am questioning myself daily and wondering if it's me and how I am behaving. I ensure she has lots of hugs and reassurance when we are out and never force her but encouraging her where possible. This morning I really snapped at a playgroup and realised I need to do something or get some help and advice. I have read loads and know it could be a phase but how long for?! Also I want to ensure she is happy and confident and now I am questioning whether I made the right choices by being a stay at home mum.... i suppose I was looking for advice on any parenting course that can help me support her better... help!!! X
It is a phase and no, I don't think you've made the wrong choice. All research I've read says that the best place for a child is with its Mum.
You say you've read up on it, did that include articles on how to deal with separation anxiety?
My DS went through this at 8months and then again at 18months, it is just a phase, I have never gone to any baby groups as we have none where I am, so DS pretty much spends all his time with me as DH works and I'm. SAHM. You would never guess DS was ever clingy ( both phases lasted a couple of weeks) as he happily goes with other people now.
My friends little girl was so clingy from 8months to about 16months ( She was going crazy and had a toddler to deal with) and then suddenly all was ok. I know it's Tough but you will get through it X
Going against the grain here. DS started being clingy the minute he was born and still is, almost aged 3. No amount of encouragement has altered this feature of his personality. His older sibling is confident and independent so I don't think it's our parenting. I am hoping school will change this, because attending nursery part-time has made no difference.
IMHO some children are just more 'clingy' than others and it does improve. Ds1 and ds2 were not at all clingy in fact I was often worried about losing ds1 as he was never fussed about where I was. Then along came ds3. He was soooo clingy. I did not do anything significantly different with him but he would follow me around at toddler groups crying 'mama', had to be peeled off me to go to pre school and cried when he thought someone else was going to look after him. It took him two months to leave me happily at the school door and even now at 7yrs old he is still the cuddliest of them all. In the end I just accepted that that was how he was. I had to be firm, decisive and positive about leaving me for pre school and school but other than that I did not force him. All three have very particular personalities and I have very little influence on these so just run with it.
My little one is 4 and a half and is the same. He has a need to be close to me and touch my skin (boobs or belly) . He's just part of who he is. He attends a preschool and starts school in September, he's confident but definitely has a need to be near me when I'm about. You get used to it lol
I feel you! I feel the whole of 1-2 years has just been one clingy stage! Very hard work.
Following. I've had it since 6/7 months (now 8 months) and wondering when it'll get better/how to deal with it when I can't be there. She'll go hungry sooner than take a bedtime bottle from anyone else, for example.
Thanks so much for your replies.
It's reassuring to hear others are in the same boat - I feel for you all too!
I am starting to think that this could be a sign of her temperament and maybe I need to adapt and be more sensitive... I have a group tomorrow so going to try and get there early to help settle her in... other tips on coping with separation anxiety are welcomed!!!
All children go through various clingy phases, and yes some children are more clingy than others,
I think having other significant people in young children's lives such as grandparents, aunties, close friends, child minders/key workers that are in regular contact helps them become less dependent on their main carer. but modern life commitments can make that quite difficult to achieve!
also have you invited any of the toddler group children and mums to your house for a play date? Your daughter would be in her own familiar surroundings and so hopefully in a more secure environment for her to socialise in.
Uh I feel for you.
The 2 yo is like this. The little playgroup he'll get off my lap but regularly comes back. The big one he gets off my lap for maracas and to ask to sit in his buggy. He's none verbal still so can't even tell me what's up. He'll stay with Nanny and Grandad at our house but if I even goto the loo army sisters I risk a melt dow n.
No advice, just empathy.
Actually my advice is make sure you have you time. Let Dad do bed routine and go to the cinema or a coffee alone o a Saturday. Good for both of you
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