I am trying really hard not to sound and behave like a 4yo, but here goes anyway! Where to start? I have 3 children (5,4,2). I made friends with a group of mums, through our pre school daughters (4). One of which I was there for through a lot. She relied on me for childcare, ear to listen, social life for her and her daughter for quite a while. She had problems with her husband, job etc. None of this was a problem. I counted it as a solid friendship and was happy to be there for her whenever.
We formed part of a group, another mum of which is a long standing friend, who I still have a lot of contact with. I still spend a lot of time with her, she just avoids telling me complete truths because she knows it'd upset me. There were a couple of other mums, all of us with daughters in the same class who I thought got on well socially with and without our daughters.
Anyway, I seem to have been frozen out. They're not rude to me, I just don't hear from them, or get told half truths about meet ups, parties, gatherings etc. E.g. They just happen to all have booked tickets for the same thing on the same day, or a party is only family, but then the photos appear on Facebook and it all looks so blatantly obvious that it wasn't.
I don't know how to deal with this. I don't want to behave like a 4yo, but I'm hurt. It's not that I don't have other friends, but I valued their friendships and now they're gone. There's the added issue that my daughter is also not being involved, but I do recognise that this is my hurt. She's oblivious to the extra curricula's, so isn't upset by it.
Do I just admit that it's gone? Do I try to ask questions? How do I do this without ostracising myself further? At the minute we can all play the 'oh wasn't that coincidental!' card at pickup, but as soon as I make this obvious I won't be able to. I'm aware that I must have done something to irritate the one I was initially very good friends with, but I don't think she'd discuss the real reasons. There'd be a list of (relatively) plausible excuses/reasons. Help me please, I'm trying to stay rational, but struggling majorly! 😔
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How do you deal with being dumped by a friendship group at 35?
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Peppapigonrepeat · 29/05/2017 18:44
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