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In the space of a weekend my bf journey is over and I'm gutted.

(17 Posts)
Heatherbell1978 Mon 29-May-17 14:26:28

DD is 13 weeks and aside from the occasional bottle just to make sure she knows how to take one, she's been exclusively bf. Its been hard as she's very fussy; fussed when my milk came in too fast and now fusses when it's too slow. DS was the same but didn't start the fussy behaviour until he was about 5 months old and I ended up giving up as it was making me housebound. I've been less bothered about being a bit housebound with DD as I'm not out and about constantly like I was with DS. DS in nursery so I've had the chance to focus on feeding when it's been tough.
This weekend she's been a nightmare and DH is away on a stag so I've had to resort to bottles as I have DS (2) to manage alone too. Day 3 today and although I'm offering the boob constantly she screams every time and just wants a bottle. My boobs no longer feel engorged and I think this might be it as far as bf goes. I feel so unprepared for it and angry at DH because if he'd been here I probably could have focused more on feeding. The hassle of preparing bottles is a pain and I really wanted to do 6 months of bf.
Just feeling really sad that's all😔

GreenGoblin0 Mon 29-May-17 14:30:51

at 13 weeks I wouldn't expect your breasts to feel engorged. your supply will be well established by now and it wouldn't usually just dry up overnight. it's not too late to go back to bfing at this stage. try calling la leche league or breastfeeding network helpline for advice.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Mon 29-May-17 14:30:56

Heather have you tried calling one of the Bfing Helplines? They are fully trained Counsellors and will be able to talk through your feelings with you smile

mikado1 Mon 29-May-17 14:36:39

Oh it's not too late. I had similar with ds1, but I got every feed back. First you need to Google paced bottle feeding so you're not undermining your bf with the bottle. Try to feed at every feed, before she is really hungry. I found early morning and bedtime feed easiest plus night time feeds. Try and relax and believe she will bf, I was definitely tense and went running for a bottle And of course that pro

AssassinatedBeauty Mon 29-May-17 14:37:38

I don't think your milk supply would just disappear overnight, and it's probably just a badly timed growth spurt. She'll prefer the faster flow of a bottle because it requires less effort to get milk.

If you want to continue breastfeeding, keep offering the breast. You might find that when DS is back in nursery and you can just concentrate on DD, it becomes less stressful and you can pick the breastfeeding back up. 3 days of patchy feeding isn't going to be the end of breastfeeding.

mikado1 Mon 29-May-17 14:42:10

Ahhh... big long add on message disappeared! Top off, big deep breath and persevere, you will get those feeds back. Let us know. Good luck x

mikado1 Mon 29-May-17 14:43:28

P.S. I too started undermining myself 're supply when I just needed to relax. She will demand

PaintingByNumbers Mon 29-May-17 14:44:31

if you want to keep bf, just keep offering breast again. your supply wont have dried up, and she wont forever refuse the breast if theres no bottle on offer. equally, if you want to stop, thats fine too

Heatherbell1978 Mon 29-May-17 14:46:09

I spoke to La Leche when I was having the same issues with DS and ultimately what worked was feeding him while asleep, in a dark room with white noise...hence how I became housebound. I've been doing all of this with DD for a few weeks now and aside from only being able to feed at home or in the car, it's been working ok. But she wont even feed while asleep now. My letdown isn't fast enough and she just screams which makes me anxious and the toddler starts playing up. She's always been one for just feeding when she's hungry rather than constantly looking for comfort so even when feeding was going well in the earlier days, if she wasn't hungry she would just refuse the breast so constantly offering it doesn't work as well for her either. Can't see a way forward right now😔

mikado1 Mon 29-May-17 14:49:07

Great reassurance here 're supply. I'm going to give up now though as phone keyboard/mn majorly playing up!

mikado1 Mon 29-May-17 14:53:02

She's screaming because she's used to faster pace of bottle. I can completely remember that anxiety and ime and looking back (so easy!) , I should have just held out-she will feed. Drink loads of water and fennel tea it is v effective so you feel confident milk is there, show her you're calm and relaxed. Would you pop in bottle on slow pace and when she's relaxed, move her onto breast..? These little things helped here.

mikado1 Mon 29-May-17 14:56:14

Soother might also relax her and get her to settle then pop her on? If she's feeding every 3 hrs, try feed @2.45.. she may pop on and off, go with it. Feel confident as best you can. She can feel the vibe. Lots of skin to skin between feeds.

IndieRar Mon 29-May-17 15:03:53

You could try a pump and express regularly so the flow improves and you maintain supply. Ok it's a right faff but if you empty the boob each time and regularly they'll increase supply. Then she can have breast milk from a bottle until your flow is faster and she doesn't get angry with it.

mikado1 Mon 29-May-17 15:08:12

That's what I did but it was a hard time.. but it did pass. I was pumping 4x a day. In hindsight I think I accepted this v hard route too easily cos I was stressed about him refusing me.

ChilliMum Mon 29-May-17 15:16:45

This may sound cruel so I am sorry but have you tried bottle feeding with a new born teat?
I was hospitalised when ds was 8 weeks and I was too ill to feed so he went on to bottles. A week later I changed my mind. I moved him to new born teats so bottles were no easier and we re-established breast feeding. I combination fed for a while until my milk supply was better and I went on to feed him until he was 2.5yrs.

Heatherbell1978 Mon 29-May-17 19:35:54

Thx everyone. As it happens I Amazon Primed a manual breast pump yesterday so I managed to pump this afternoon and DD woke from a nap as I was doing it so rammed her straight on the breast and she fed as my milk was obviously in already. I have a few different teats she's feeding from, think the colic ones are first size but I'll check that. Had to give her another bottle before bed but planning to dream feed later which hopefully works. Toddler at grannies tonight (and DH now home to help) so it doesn't matter as much if she's noisy through the night. Going to keep pumping though. All very stressful.

Cranb0rne Mon 29-May-17 20:24:01

Have you tried paced bottle feeding to get her used to a slower flow? Kelly mom have some info on it.

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