Its that time of year...Sun delaying bedtime...HELP!

[Mamabear12]

How do you make your kids sleep when the sun is out? We try putting black outs up, but they open them up or pull them down. They are aged 3 and 5pm. Lately been up until 9:30/10 and of course grumpy all day. They get lots of exercise after school because we go to the park for at least an hour. Usually they are in bed at 7:30pm and 8:30pm (younger sleeps first). Lately its been a nightmare, with them coming out many times. Me screaming at them after they come out 3 times with new excuses. Its exhausting for me as in the evening I need my own time!

What do you do to keep your kids on good schedule, when they do not exactly listen!?

[clarabellski]

Persist persist persist!

It's shit though, innit?

[FATEdestiny]

It sounds like you need to start getting strict at bedtime.

[GeorgeTheHamster]

Be strict on them not opening them. Lay down the law.

[Mamabear12]

But how the heck do you be strict?? I put them to bed, they come out, I put them back. I keep doing this, then I have to shout at them. Threaten etc. I guess I could try taking something from them they like to do? Problem is, that just causes a lot of stress and tears...arghhhh.

[FATEdestiny]

So currently the 3 year old goes to bed at 7.30pm and the 5 year old at 8.30pm.

(That's late for a 5 year old, but one thing at a time)

Being strict is not about threats or shouting. It is about:

• Predictability
  
• Expectations
  
• Boundaries
  

Predictability

Follow the same routine. Calmly and quietly, every night. Give a constant commentary of now, next, then. It may seem false and forced language to use initially, but it gets more natural with time.

• Now we are going upstairs. Next into the bathroom and have a wee and next brush your teeth.
  
• Good boy for coming upstairs when mummy asked. Wee and teeth now, next into your pyjamas and then a story.
  
• into your pyjamas then, story and into bed
  
• Good not. Choose a story, into bed when it's done and you must lie quietly to go to sleep.
  

Expectations

You need to establish the behaviour you expect and you need to be right there to enforce it.

Developing a mantra you repeat (calmly, in a kind but firm way) can help. It needs to use simple language to explain exactly what you expect the child to do

"Sleep time now. We lie down quietly to sleep. Nan night"

Prepare the child before hand that these will be the new expectations at bedtime. That he is expected to lie on his bed and be quiet at bedtime.

You cant force a child to sleep. But upu can insist they stay still, silent and do nothing but lie down in dark room. They probably will then fall asleep.

So all you expect is that they:

• lie down
  
• don't get up
  
• lie still
  
• dont make any noise.
  

Boundaries

Now they know what's coming, they know what to expect, yph just have to enforce those rules.

So with your predictable "Now, Next, Then" routine, then your "Bedtime Mantra" to be clear on your expectations, you now just need tp invest some time to enforce the boundaries.

Thet will try to push the boundaries (what can/can't I get away with? Answer = nothing).

Put child to bed, wait by the door. Any deviation from the expectation then go to the child, lie back down, tuck in, repeat mantra.

Gets up = "No, you don't get up. It is sleep time now. We lie down quietly to go to sleep. Nan night". Tuck back in and leave.

Makes a noise = "No, you don't make a noise. It is sleep time now. We lie down quietly to go to sleep. Nan night". Tuck back in and leave.

Sits up = "No, you dont sit up. It is sleep time now. We lie down quietly to go to sleep. Nan night". Tuck in and leave

Speaks to you = "No talking now. It is sleep time now. We lie down quietly to go to sleep. Nan night". Tuck in and leave.

Asks for something = "No, I'm not getting you anything now. It is sleep time now. We lie down quietly to go to sleep. Nan night". Tuck in and leave.

You get the idea.

Utter and complete consistency. Just stand by the door and be a broken record about it until they accept that your boundaries will not be pushed.

[Mamabear12]

Thanks for the tips. I got my son to bed and fast asleep by 7:30pm. Thankfully. Unfortunately DD was up until 9pm.....boo