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Child's father won't use car seat

(30 Posts)
MrsJRichardson Fri 19-May-17 22:44:37

Does anyone have any advice for me? I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall.
My child's father (not together) won't use a car seat. I've tried EVERTHING to get him to use one. He owns one. He just parks a while away from my house and says he's using it when he isn't. Tbh there's a shed load of shit things he does and I'd love to tell him to just fuck off but I know that's probably not the best thing to do... so what do I do instead?

Writerwannabe83 Sat 20-May-17 07:05:24

How old is the child? And if he's not using a car seat then what's he doing instead?

There's NO WAY I would let anyone take off with my child if I kne they'd be in a moving car but not in a car seat.

Seeing as it's illegal perhaps you could speak to 111 for advice?

lotusbomb Sat 20-May-17 07:08:17

There is not a snowballs chance in hell I'd let him take my kid unless he complied. The law is there for a reason, to keep his child SAFE.

lotusbomb Sat 20-May-17 07:09:14

What does he say is his reason for not using one?

DawnOfTheMombie Sat 20-May-17 07:12:43

Fuck that noise. I'd say no. Let him kick off. Call the police to have a chat with him. I'd be telling him until he can ensure my child is safe he's not seeing him. And if he took me to court I'd explain exactly that to the Judge. They'd take a very dim view of it.

Scoobydoobydont Sat 20-May-17 07:14:50

How old is the child? 6 weeks and it's a major issue. 6 years - meh, not so much

Heirhelp Sat 20-May-17 08:52:00

Yy to calling 111 for advice. How old is the child?

Sirzy Sat 20-May-17 08:52:59

If the child is of the age/height they legally need one then I would simply not allow any contact that required him to drive.

MyOtherProfile Sat 20-May-17 08:54:11

If the child is 3 that's awful. If they're 10 it's fine! We need more info.

MrsJRichardson Sat 20-May-17 09:15:34

Child is 5 and 18kg so still well within the age and weight of needing a seat.

When I challenged him yesterday he put DS in his siblings nice top of the range seat that was also in the car... but before that he was strapped in with a normal seatbelt that was only going round his waist, not across his body. He'd told me he was in a booster and when j realised that DS looked far too short to be in a booster seat I went over to check.

I would have refused to let him go had he not then put him in an adequate seat, but he did so my hands were tied. I'm not really sure how to move forwards from here though. It's not the first time and I just can't trust him to use one all the time because of this.

rainbowgiraffe Sat 20-May-17 09:18:42

I'm not 100% sure but I think he's breaking the law. You tell him your dc won't be going with him until you have strapped them into the car seat yourself. What a wanker.

MrsJRichardson Sat 20-May-17 09:19:56

I checked the law and it is indeed being broken. I've told him I'll be checking every time but there's no guarantee he'd use the car seat for every journey if I wasn't there to check

MrsJRichardson Sat 20-May-17 09:21:20

He's done this before. He even rear ended another car with my DS in the back not in a seat. I've sent him crash videos, links to seats, he has a seat for him at home ffs he just won't bloody use it! I'm out of ideas

Writerwannabe83 Sat 20-May-17 09:56:56

If the seat is already in the car why doesn't he use it? I don't get it. Is it just laziness?

MrsJRichardson Sat 20-May-17 10:13:20

The seat he bought for my DS, a high back booster gets left at home evidently. The seat he put him in last night was for his baby, it's a group 1.2.3 or something like that. So if the baby is in the car he won't be able to use that anyway

AyeAmarok Sat 20-May-17 10:15:52

Oh my God, so dangerous.

I think I'd be calling time on contact.

MrsJRichardson Sat 20-May-17 10:18:00

Aye that's exactly what I want to do but I'm doubting myself. There's a long list of shitty behaviour from him. Nothing huge but it's all adding up and this is the last straw

Aquamarine1029 Sat 20-May-17 18:00:52

I wouldn't even consider letting him take your child again. You knowing he doesn't use a car seat means that you as the mum are every bit as responsible should something happen. You know this is 100% illegal and dangerous. You must protect your child from this idiot.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Sat 20-May-17 18:03:32

Speak to the police and enquire whether someone could meet him as he collects your ds to have a word. .

MrsJRichardson Sat 20-May-17 18:21:47

If it was down to me I'd stop contact, but it's hard to know if I'm making a snap reaction and what my rights are re stopping contact.

Like I said above I wouldn't have let him go had he not been put in a car seat, and I only know about the crash because it was 5 minutes from my house so I met him there to collect DS.

sweetandsaltypopcorn Sat 20-May-17 18:24:37

It is not a snap reaction he is breaking the law and putting your child in danger.

Intransige Sat 20-May-17 18:28:06

I would treat this like drunk driving - call the police, inform them of the issue and where he will be/when so he can be stopped and charged.

Shinesun9 Sat 20-May-17 18:31:12

Speak to the police, surely they can flag his number plate for spot checks which will hopefully make him think twice about being so blasé about your sons safety

Shinesun9 Sat 20-May-17 18:32:10

And if you know for sure DS isn't in his seat when he travels then phone the police for that occasion

BlahBlahBlahEtc Sat 20-May-17 18:32:19

It's difficult when it's your childs father but I agree with other posters in that he's breaking the law and putting your child in real danger. I have no idea why he's being a fucktard about something as simple as a carseat but I can only assume he's a cock in multiple areas so my advice is to cut contact or have supervised contact at your home until he starts being reasonable.

You can also report him of course, you'd be justified.

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