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Is it ever ok to leave child (nearly 4) in front of tv whilst parent sleeps upstairs?

(67 Posts)
WimbledonMum1 Fri 19-May-17 11:09:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenHairDontCare Fri 19-May-17 11:11:58

Of course it's ok! Unless you live in Downton Abbey.

My lot have been getting up earlier than me at the weekend since they were toddlers. I am a light sleeper though tbf.

AirBiscuitEater Fri 19-May-17 11:12:02

No, I personally wouldn't. If I was so exhausted I'd take a blanket to the sofa and stick a DVD on whilst I snooze.
I'm not sure I'd even be able to sleep knowing a 3yo was downstairs alone.

Floggingmolly Fri 19-May-17 11:12:46


Leavesandburies Fri 19-May-17 11:13:50

Definitely fine at 4. Unless you know your 4 yr old is a danger to themselves usually. Mine would be fine if he wasn't scared to be away from people in the house.

gamerwidow Fri 19-May-17 11:32:40

No I wouldn't leave a 3 yo downstairs while I slept. I don't think I would feel confident doing that until about 6/7 when they've got slightly better risk assessment.
If you're really really tired I it's acceptable to doze in the same room but only in extreme tiredness

WimbledonMum1 Fri 19-May-17 11:36:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoCapes Fri 19-May-17 11:40:38

No I don't think that's ok

shineon Fri 19-May-17 11:47:28

Absolutely not! They could be doing anything, turning on cooker, getting at household cleaners, going out the front door or a million other things. My eldest is 6 & no way would I leave him alone to sleep.

DianaMitford Fri 19-May-17 11:47:39

Depends entirely on the context. I used to put a DVD on for dd1 when I was in the early stages of pg with dd2. Dd1 was almost 5 at that point and I depended upon that hour or so of sleep most days.

Dd1 was fine - sat happily watching the film and when it was finished she immediately bounded upstairs to find me.

In other circs I wouldn't have done it, e.g. if hungover or something or if I just felt like a little snooze. But that bone-crushing tiredness of early pg got the better of me. Oh and I should mention that it was the summer hols so dd1 was home 24/7!

bojorojo Fri 19-May-17 11:49:09

Sleep on the settee!

Run4Fun Fri 19-May-17 11:51:42

Why don't you offer to babysit instead of giving advice?

NotCitrus Fri 19-May-17 11:55:26

Depends on the house, safety features and your child! If the front door is secure and cleaning materials are on a high shelf, cooker is electric, and especially if the child is most likely to just watch and then come poke you if they want anything, should be fine.

If you can't be sure the front door is secured, or have to store dangerous chemicals under your sink as there's nowhere else, or your child has the attention span of a gnat and will be climbing the furniture within five minutes, then no.

For reference I could sleep upstairs happily with ds playing in the living room or watching TV. With dd, no chance (although I tried it if ds was there too, but usually just had him screaming that she was beating him up, so it didn;t work).

Cookingongas Fri 19-May-17 11:56:16

I don't think you can tell the mother. As seen in this thread it isn't a fixed thing as to whether it's okay. There are huge variables in terms of safety (for instance in my home there is no way dd could be turning the cooker etc on as I have safety child lock etc) and there is a divide in opinion. It's her place to decide what she deems okay. Not yours.

AyeAmarok Fri 19-May-17 11:57:04

So it's fine if you're really tired.

Are they safer if you're really tired? As opposed to being lazy or hungover.

Gooseygoosey12345 Fri 19-May-17 12:02:49

Why can't they have a DVD in their room? Or on a tablet. No it's not ideal but surely better than them being downstairs?

chloechloe Fri 19-May-17 12:27:14

No way would I do this. Even if everything is child proofed and no dangerous items are accessible I'd still be worried they'd take it upon themselves to climb on furniture to try and do or reach something they shouldn't.

upperlimit Fri 19-May-17 12:34:24

When I'm shattered or ill, I will sit ds3 on my bed with a marathon session of whichever TV series has his attention at the time and go to sleep. Clearly, it's not going to win any parenting awards but I can feel when he shifts off the bed so he can't get into any danger. If the Gods are with me, sometimes he'll fall asleep too.

Leatherboundanddown Fri 19-May-17 12:38:12

I have done this with dd since she was about 3.5 but we don't have an upstairs we have always lived in ground floor flats so I would be in the next room. She will happily sit infront of the tv or make a mess with craft stuff for ages but sometimes she will get in bed with me instead.

NoCapes Fri 19-May-17 12:41:07

What's the situation here Op?
Is it that the child wakes up really early and the Mum stays in bed? Or does the child not wake her in a morning? Or does the Mum just pop off for an afternoon nap?
Does the Mum have a medical condition, or is pregnant?
I think we need a bit more info

Fliptophead Fri 19-May-17 12:45:02

My three year old usually wakes me immediately upon rising. Give me this woman's number so we can swap.

I'd suggest op that if this person has raised her child for nearly four years she is very much aware of the potential dangers in her home and her child's behaviour and has decided she is comfortable with the risk involved. I'd keep my thoughts to myself.

Oblomov17 Fri 19-May-17 12:47:58

I don't think it's that bad. Some 4 year olds can sit watching tv for ages, quite comfortably. Can go and get mum if they need anything.
What if the mum was a single parent and was unwell?

NotSoEagerBeaver Fri 19-May-17 12:48:20

I used to put a film on and sneak off to bed for an hour after a night shift( in a flat). I couldn't doze in the sofa, I'd have my 4 year old constantly poking me and incessant "why are you sleeping mummy it's daytime!"

DontFuckingSayIt Fri 19-May-17 12:52:08

If I don't feel like getting up at 6am I quite often get in bed with 4yo DD (she used to get in with me but now DP works nights and it disturbs him) and let her watch something on my phone or tablet while I go back to sleep for an hour. I've been known to doze on the sofa while she watches a film or something too but I'm never "properly" asleep if she's up and about. I would leave her downstairs while I was upstairs (but awake) but our house is very small and we can shout to one another and I would hear if she was opening the front door or something. Plus she's pretty sensible and independent.

I think it really depends on the circumstances but I don't think she should be going back to bed in the afternoon and leaving a 4yo to his/her own devices for hours - different if she's just closing her eyes on the same room as the child.

AppleAndBlackberry Fri 19-May-17 12:57:41

I would put cbeebies on and then go back to bed for half an hour when mine were this kind of age, but I'm a very light sleeper and they literally never got up off the sofa. Curtains closed, front door locked, kids still sleepy, felt safe enough to me. I'm not sure I would have done it in the middle of the day or for a longer period than about an hour and I also think it depends on how safe your house is and what your child is like. It's not a complete no no for me though.

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