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Toddler still ignores baby brother

(12 Posts)
Tortycat Mon 15-May-17 20:54:12

Ds 1 is 2.7, and ds2 is 7 months. Ds 1 has always mostly completely ignored his baby brother, only occasionally acknowledging him eg offering him a toy, telling me if he's woken up etc. I cant get any nice photos of them together as ds1 refuses to sit next to him or touch him. I asked him today if he likes him and he said no. Ive tried everything i can think of to help them bond eg praising ds1 for showing any interest/ kindness, saying how much ds2 likes it when ds1 does things etc.

Is this normal?? Has anyone had this where siblings later got on well? Any advice much appreciated!

Tortycat Tue 16-May-17 22:48:53

Anyone??

DancingLedge Tue 16-May-17 22:59:36

I can hear that this bothers you.

So probably not a lot of help to say that some of us would have been very happy if the toddler had ignored the baby, instead of letting us know loud and clear that they weren't happy about baby.

Giving baby a toy sounds quite promising.
Face it, from a toddler's viewpoint, the baby cries, and takes you and your attention away from him.And is not intrinsically interesting.

Mine are fine now. Yours probably will be too.

MirandaWest Tue 16-May-17 23:06:45

My two are 13 and 11. DS was 22 months when DD was born. He mostly ignored her until she moved which was at about 11 months.
They mostly get on all right now smile

SuperRainbows Tue 16-May-17 23:27:19

I would try and not worry too much about this and wouldn't draw any attention to it.
The move from being an only child to having a sibling is massive for a youngster. He's not being mean, he's just not interested yet.
Give him time.
For what it's worth we found adding dc 3 and 4 was a breeze!

Tortycat Tue 16-May-17 23:42:15

Thanks all. I just feel guilty at the moment as ds1 looks at me like I've betrayed him sad really hoping that they get on when they're older but have a feeling ds2 will rule the roost...

superrainbows no idea how you manage 4 - i am done in with 2!!

SuperRainbows Wed 17-May-17 07:25:59

My eldest was 13 when dc4 was born, so that made things easier.
I was referring more to the emotional adjustment of adding further dcs.
I remember really worrying that my eldest ds would feel pushed out when dd1 was born. He didn't, so I stopped worrying and dd2 and 3 joined us with no problems.
When ds2 starts doing a bit more, maybe making ds1 laugh and then playing together it will all work out.

ElspethFlashman Wed 17-May-17 07:31:05

DS ignored DD until she was about that age and their gap was the same. Sometimes I would hear of toddlers who "adored" the baby and was a bit bemused cos it was just indifference in our house.

It's a slow burn when the younger doesn't actually do much. Indifference is infinitely preferable to resentment though. It'll evolve in its own pace.

But quite normal. The baby hasn't become a playmate yet.

SleepyHeadThisTime Fri 19-May-17 14:08:27

My toddler tried to stamp on my baby's head today in wellies - I would take ignoring over that any day!

Perhaps your toddler will find the baby more interesting when he starts walking and talking.

mylaptopismylapdog Fri 19-May-17 14:18:50

I wouldn't worry I doubt its the other way round usually the younger ones are watching the older ones very carefully and learning. The older ones will become move interested when the baby can move. There will probably come a time when you they wish didn't communicate and create mischief!

corythatwas Fri 19-May-17 18:24:41

Agree with pp that ignoring sounds preferable to the alternatives. Let's just say that I had to exercise the utmost vigilance when dd was at that stage or there wouldn't have been a little brother to bond with.

Just try not to push it. There is plenty of time. I totally ignored my little brother at this age, but became very close to him later.

Lostinaseaofbubbles Fri 19-May-17 18:38:57

DS2 did this with his twin brothers. I think he finally took more of an interest at 9-10 months when he could actually play with them a bit. They're nearly 2 and he loves them now.

Ignoring when they're really tiny is actually quite helpful. Hopefully it'll come when they start to be a bit more interesting.

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