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Unexpected behaviour from 2yo

(14 Posts)
glitterglitters Sun 14-May-17 22:33:30

So, my dd is 2 next month and is a happy, polite little thing. She plays nicely and is just about getting the hang of sleeping. I work from home so she doesn't go to nursery but we socialise with other children etc.

Today out of the blue my dh called me from the kitchen to find her taking one of her dolls, smacking it and scolding it "naughty baby. Bad baby. Naughty naughty!"

We have, on occasion asked her not to be naughty but never called her naughty.

We've never shouted or scolded in this manner and we've certainly never behaved physically like this!

She only watches a few tv programmes on CBeebies and we watch what we watch round her.

She occasionally visits her grandad and nanny (they're separated) and they always say she's as good as gold etc.

I am racking my brains where she would have learnt this behaviour. We always try and encourage her to be kind and I know kids will be kids but it just seems very "copied" behaviour.

As not to dripfeed I suffered a degree of physical abuse as a teenager from my dm (who was very ill mh-wise) and an ex-bf so it's been rather upsetting and made me panic someone has might have done this to her. 😞

Aquamarine1029 Mon 15-May-17 04:38:08

At this point I wouldn't worry. I would just interject any time she does this by saying "we never hit, and a baby is never naughty." If she continues to do it, I would take the doll away for a bit and explain she may have it back when she can be loving and kind. Repeat as necessary. Don't worry too much. Children often come up with things out of the blue.

glitterglitters Mon 15-May-17 09:54:43

Thanks @Aquamarine1029 she did it again this morning and I had a chat with her and she stopped.

We are due to have another baby soon so I suspect if it was something to do with this as well. She normally is quite excited about the baby when we've talked about it and read books.

I sound so pfb but it was just so out of character for her. She has meltdowns and smacks and hits me on occasion, in the normal way a frustrated toddler does but I've never seen her be mean on purpose to anybody.

ElspethFlashman Mon 15-May-17 09:59:49

If she smacks you, it's hardly out of character, is it?

She's just linking two things together: smacking which she is used to doing, and the word naughty, which she understands to mean poor behaviour.

thethoughtfox Mon 15-May-17 10:04:07

My dd loves giving her toys into trouble!

thethoughtfox Mon 15-May-17 10:06:16

Don't stop her. It's their way of working through her feelings and and understanding the world. It might just be a child's way of practising enjoying power and control. Please don't control her play. It's not the same as hurting other children.

MuseumGardens Mon 15-May-17 10:06:48

I remember seeing kids do that in the 70s when children were often smacked but I don't remember my own kids (who weren't smacked) doing it. I would have thought she must have seen it somewhere. Could her grandparents be smacking dolls when playing dolls with her and she's copying it from that?

glitterglitters Mon 15-May-17 10:07:00

By smacking I'm talking like a very few times. Not constantly and never as a punishment.

glitterglitters Mon 15-May-17 10:09:22

@thethoughtfox I understand what you're saying here but surely it's not appropriate.

@MuseumGardens that's what I'm worried about. Fil is the kindest person in the world and doesn't believe in smacking, mil works in a nursery and doesn't believe in smacking. There is another child (not related to us but in the mix) who is very violent that I've made quite clear I do not want her near. I'm just a bit worried that this child has been interacting with my daughter without my knowledge which is a whole other level of Nope.

LorLorr2 Mon 15-May-17 10:12:52

I wouldn't worry that someone has done that to her OP. She would probably show other signs of distress if that was the case.

splendide Mon 15-May-17 11:02:09

DS does this a bit although his version is one of his toys hits him and then they say sorry to him and give him a kiss.

glitterglitters Mon 15-May-17 11:05:51

Thanks for all the replies and for putting my mind at ease. smile

Whatsername17 Mon 15-May-17 13:12:25

I think you are massively over thinking it. My dd told her toys that they weren't getting any dinner once. She shouted 'what I say, monkey! No dinner for you!' She was almost 2 and I have a video of it. We had never withheld food or even threatened it. Dd had just realised that she had freewill and could tell people what to do.

sunnysouthend Mon 15-May-17 13:58:14

I think it's some kind of developmental thing. I was shocked when my 2yo who had previously only ever been loving and kind to her dolls started doing similar 'telling them off' stuff with them.
While I agree that stopping them is not a good idea I use it as a starter to talk about feelings, how dolly must be feeling right now etc. I think it's helpful that way to start to develop empathy in young ones.

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