3kids under 6 pregnant with 4th emotions a mess

[user1494792858]

Ok first post alert and long post! As the title says I have three kids and 12 weeks pregnant with 4th, pregnancy came as a surprise but me and dh are happy and excited. I understand that it's normal to feel emotional with all the extra hormones etc but I feel like a wreck, dh is away on business at the moment (a regular thing) and after a fun weekend I had a rubbish evening with the kids. It started off with ds1 and ds2 just being silly but being over tired it got out of control and I felt powerless to stop their behaviour. I basically burst into tears (similar thing happened a couple of weeks ago) ds2 stopped and said sorry but 5minutes later they were back to messing around (bringing bicycles indoors, stripping off and threatening to wee in various places, not the toilet, throwing shoes at me, throwing bedding and other items down the stairs). Usually ds2 behaviour can be challenging but ds1 is mostly sensible and behaves fine. Anyway I finally managed to get them upstairs along with ds3 and after lots of attempts they were in Pajamas with teeth brushed but I explained no story due to previous behaviour. So it started all over again, I separated them which started out ok but elder one came through and they got over excited, while trying to calm them down, get them to lay in bed youngest one was up to mischief, bathroom items down the toilet, lights turned on and off and on again etc none of which helped the sense of chaos! At this point the boys were jumping on the bed chanting that I was a horrible ugly mummy and I lost my temper. I just saw red, picked them up and put them out of my room whilst screaming at them to stop. Not a proud mummy moment, still replaying and feeling terrible guilt. I then took a few minutes to calm down with the youngest one cuddling me and went through they were In their beds and were both upset with me. I felt terrible and spent 45minutes talking with them, I apologised for how I dealt with situation (they don't know about pregnancy yet) listened to them and how they felt, made friends and had cuddles (despite ds2 carrying on abit with behaviour but I just ignored and focused on positive). I am usually quite calm but occasionally will yell if I'm tired and out of options, but this evening was awful and j was a sobbing mess in front of the kids. I just feel like my hormones and emotions are crazy at the moment. Now feeling guilty about way I acted and also guilty for feeling anger / stress and the effect on baby. Trying to keep positive but super hard - have no family close by / support. Quite new to the area. Boys are in school / nursery and I work part time from home. Just need reassurance that I'm not making a mess of everything, I just want to be a good mother but tonight feel so lost

[KarlKennedysBumCrack]

Ahhhh, don't feel too bad - it sounds like one of those awful nights when things just get too much! You're not an awful mummy, three small boys is so hard sometimes. I've got three under five and my evenings go like that occasionally. The older two just go feral and it feels so out of control but tomorrow is another day. Don't beat yourself up over it. And congrats on number four!

[user1494792858]

Thanks for responding! I think I'm just in need of reassurance, my emotions are just abit all over the place so not really putting things in to perspective

[KarlKennedysBumCrack]

Being pregnant is emotional enough as it is, three little kids on top make it even harder work! Make sure you rest and get your husband to help out when he can. It will all be fine, one day you will look back on these times fondly (that's what I tell myself on hard days anyway!). Hope you feel better soon.