Is it me?

[user1494615613]

Hi
It's my first time of posting so please be gentle with me.
I want to arrange a birthday party for my dd, she will be 5 in August. As I know many parents may be away I asked the father of one of the kids if they were going on holiday. Somehow through Chinese wipers the wife has come to conclusion that we are holding a joint bash. I did try to explain but it has fallen on deaf ears.
I did agree to view a venue in the hope that she would hate it but the opposite happened.
As our children are friends and I do like her (although she is pushy). I don't know her very well and I don't want to offend /hurt her but I have the feeling that I am being swept along.
Nothing has been booked but probably will if I don't do something soon.
Help!

[Justmadeperfectflapjacks]

Would you be inviting the same dc if you had separate parties? Can make it easier if you share a day / venue!( And cheaper!)
If you had a family party in mind just send her a text saying as you have lots of family it's best you have your own do. .
Text if it's easier than face to face!!

[user1494615613]

Yes we would be inviting the same people. Although our dd are different ages. I think it's the worry that she will take over and it will be me paying a 50% share in her dd birthday party.
She has been inviting parents at the school gate at the top of her voice and I don't like that. I don't like rubbing it in that not all the class will be invited.
No venue has been booked, no date arranged etc

[BackforGood]

Am confused why you discussed venues with her if you don't want to do it .
Say something now before you get any deeper in to it.

Also - top tip from me - don't have a party in August, it will end in disappointment. Hold your dd's party before the end of term.

[user1494615613]

Thank you for the tip. I guess it's the combination of overseas holidays and not seeing parents to remind them about the party.
I don't know why I went. I think it was the combination of hoping that she would change her mind, knowing that this is going to be tricky to get out of and I'm a coward.
I don't like hurting people so I agree to things and potentially I am going to make this so much worse that if I was braver in the beginning

[BackforGood]

Well, it's not really 'brave'. Just speak to her and say you've been thinking about it and, particularly as it is your dd's first school party, you want to keep it a bit smaller and just do things she wants, so, before anything gets booked, you just want to say that you won't be holding a joint one, and you hope she has fun at hers. Smile. Move on.